How to Be Happy with Yourself

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Stop chasing happiness and learn how to be happy with yourself. Here are 10 other emotions that you can feel on purpose that will often will lead to finding happiness along the way!

When you ask women want they want in life, most will say they want to be “happy.”

By now, you’ve probably figured out that being happy is pretty elusive. It comes in the oddest times when you least expect it and sometimes it is totally missing when we assume it should be there.

Or we think things or people will make us happy. Things tend to provide maybe a minute or so of a happy feeling. And people, they are totally unreliable about making us happy.

However, there are better things to want than happiness. And these are actually doable things that you can take action on today.

In my experience, you can’t just create happiness.

Happiness is a byproduct of choices you make every day. In fact, if you’re trying to create happiness, often you’ll find yourself frustrated because you can’t make it happen.

Here’s a spoiler alert to life. There is no happy ending. Happiness isn’t a destination that we ever get to permanently enjoy once we arrive.

How to Feel Happy

Happiness is an emotion. It’s a feeling. It is a state of being. And it feels wonderful.

Yet, you can’t just create it. And you don’t feel it 24/7.

But most of us want more of it in our lives! However, we often choose things that give us a fake feeling of being happy.

These fake happy things are activities such as: eating sweets and treats, watching too much TV, drinking too much, or any other thing that gives you a temporary high.

This list is different. I’m going to share some emotions you have to work for a little. You’ll get solid rewards and most likely feel some true happiness along the way.

Stop chasing happiness and learn how to be happy with yourself. These 10 emotions, that you can feel on purpose, will lead to feeling happy with yourself!

By choosing to feel these other emotions you begin to make real changes in your life!

You will:

  • Gain more confidence
  • Make better choices
  • Fulfill your creative destiny
  • Create a legacy
  • Forge strong connections
  • Control your own mind instead of trying to control others

Here’s the thing. When you reach for these feelings, you will often find some happiness along the way as well!

These feelings are feelings that will take you in a direction that you WANT to go. And happiness if often a byproduct of these kinds of feelings.

There are so many feelings you can choose from! I picked these because all of them are doable by anyone. Instead of trying to be happy, try to feel of these and see what happens.











I like to use these feelings in connection to something I want to do or achieve. Happiness, as lovely as it is, doesn’t usually get me where I want to go.

These kinds of feelings do lead to where I want to go and it’s really helpful to experiment with feeling them on purpose.

Once you have an idea about something you want to do, you ask yourself what you need to feel in order to take that action. This is the feeling you want to cultivate with your thinking!

How to Be Happy with Yourself and Life in General

Be committed

This feeling is a game-changer. When you commit to something 100%, then you will achieve it. For the sake of this post, I’m talking about things you can control—your own thoughts and actions.

For example, I’ve committed to writing this post. Trust me on this my friends, each post requires to me to reach for a place that I’ve never been before.

It doesn’t magically write itself!

I’ve had posts that take an hour to write. I’ve had posts take three weeks to write.

It doesn’t matter. When I commit to it, I don’t stop until it gets done.

While the timing may not be under my control, I can control that I get it done.

I use that feeling of committed to think the kinds of thoughts that will get me to the finish line.

“You got this Sara, just keep writing.”

When you are committed, there is no giving up. You just keep on moving in the right direction, until the thing is done.

Be determined

When you are determined, you might not know how to do something but you are resolved that you will do it, somehow, someday.

A few months ago, I watched my youngest granddaughter learn how to walk. She was determined though she didn’t know how and it didn’t come easily.

I watched her for weeks practice just small pieces of walking. Getting up on her feet was a huge accomplishment.

From there I watched her practice balance while holding on with two hands, then just one hand, and then no hands.

There were steps holding on.

Each day she did just a little more than the day before.

Eventually she was taking steps.

When we are determined to do something, we don’t have to know how to do the whole thing. It is enough to take the small action that is right in front of you.

Do that—and the next action will reveal itself.

Feel amazed at yourself

I love this feeling!

It might be my new favorite. We can of course be amazed by many things: beautiful sunsets, a newborn baby, or an epic view.

Yet, when you begin doing things that amaze yourself, you’ll be looking at life in a whole new way. In the past couple of days,

  • I rode 30 miles on my bike. I was totally amazed at myself.
  • I finally finished one of those before-mentioned 3-week posts.
  • I exercised and ate clean the entire day!
  • I made a phone call that was difficult.
  • I said yes, to a new connection.

While some of these might seem easy to you, they were things that I had to push myself to do. I amazed myself.

Amaze yourself my friends!

Feel curious

Curious is another emotion that will take you in interesting places. Just check things out. Give them a try.

You can always commit later but it’s fun just to explore things that you are curious about.

Being curious can be the start of incredible undertakings in your life. I was curious about blogging.

Actually, being curious has led to so many of my posts!

  • Gratitude
  • Forgiveness
  • Bone broth
  • Green smoothies
  • Fitness (my way)

Be curious about other people. Trust me on this one, everyone has something interesting about them.

It’s always been a part of my career to be curious about people, and I have learned that every single person has a story or quality that is interesting or that you can learn from.

Feel competent

Choose to learn to do things well. We avoid doing so many things because we aren’t good at them.

You don’t have to be competent at everything but you can become competent at things you weren’t before.

What is it you want to do?

You’ll probably be terrible at it when you start. That’s not just okay, it’s really the best time. Doing something without being good at it.

If you stick with it, you will develop competence.

Feel balanced

Many times, we try to brush away any feelings that, well, feel bad. Examples are: worried, scared, mad, or embarrassed.

But these are really normal feelings and it’s okay to feel them.

When you accept that they are part of your life about half the time, then you can have them and not let them take over.

Feeling balanced means, you understand that sometimes you won’t always feel happy. You’ll have some of those other feelings too. You accept that as part of the mix.

Sometimes I get a salad with radishes in it. That doesn’t mean I don’t like salad!

Life has lots of feelings. The more we recognize them and let them be a part of our life, the more balanced we can feel.

Feel creative

I’ve always known I was creative and I often feel creative. Conversely, a lot of you don’t think you are creative.

Practice feeling creative anyway.

It doesn’t matter how. Being creative simply means you create something. It can be anything.

The more you do it, the more creative you can be.

This post tells how to Discover Your Creativity Like a Kid Does. It really can be that simple.

Find a simple craft on Pinterest to do. Try a new recipe. Write a poem. Edit your photos for Facebook. Find ways to do something you’ve never done before.

Feel present

Be present for yourself and others. If you are with someone, keep your phone put away and give them your attention.

Spend some time with yourself every day without watching TV, scrolling on your phone, or anything else.

Most of all, be present to yourself.

Pay attention. Listen.

People ask me all the time, where do I get my ideas. I get them by being present to myself and to others.

Feel thankful

It’s ALWAYS the season to be thankful!

When you start focusing on things to be grateful for, you can change your life.

Do this, especially if you feel like you are not getting your fair share in life.

Really, dig deep, every day to find things to feel thankful for.

Doing this every day, builds momentum in your life for seeing and receiving good things. It changes how you view the world.

Feel connected

Don’t always wait for people to connect with you. Be the person who checks in. Call when you haven’t heard from someone for a while. Send a note via real mail.

It’s easy to expect certain people in your life to connect with you. Sometimes they will. Sometimes they won’t.

Do new things and meet new people.

Most of us just have a few close friends or family members. Yet, we can have an array of other acquaintances that we can connect with.

I’ve made at least six friends online over the past few years. Even though we haven’t met, we have conversations, check on each other, and have even collaborated on projects.

In real life, I make time in my life for my friends and family. I don’t see or talk to everyone every day but I do try to connect either by phone or in person, a few times a week with some of them.

As an introvert, I don’t always want to do this!

Yet, feeling connected is one of the most important things you can do for your healthy. Research says it may be the most important thing you can do.

Feel authentic

Show up as your real self. Not the one you think people want to see.

For some of us, feeling authentic takes practice. Isn’t that crazy?

It’s worth aiming for though.

Wear the clothes you like. Do the things you enjoy. Hang out with the people you want to be with. Eat the foods that make you feel your best.

Feeling authentic is maybe one of the best feelings there is. Finally, you feel like yourself.

And here’s something to keep in mind. You might think, people won’t like you if they knew who you really are.

It’s actually the opposite. People will love you when you show up as your authentic self.

Some people might not and that is okay.

However, by feeling authentic, you connect with people that do love the real you. And that is an awesome experience.

Take the 21 Day Get Unstuck Challenge

How to Find Happiness

Finding happiness is not about trying to be happy. We can’t just snap our fingers and become happy.

Yet, there are so many feelings that we can try to feel on purpose that actually increase our chances of feeling happy.

I like those odds much better!

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Keep showing up my friends,



I'm a certified life and weight loss coach who helps women feel better and get the most out of their lives! The process of life coaching teaches you to love yourself and gain self confidence in a safe effective way.

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  1. Bethany @ Happily Loco on November 29, 2019 at 2:41 pm

    This reminds me of the story about the two wolves, where the difference lies in the one you feed. We always have choices, and it is a fine line between allowing and acknowledging difficult emotions (then letting go) and wallowing in self-pity.

  2. Christina Daggett on November 29, 2019 at 9:50 am

    I love this post especially the idea of being your authentic self. I believe that is probably the most important route to true happiness. Thanks for sharing Sara.

  3. Candi Randolph on November 29, 2019 at 5:05 am

    I love this, Sara…the purposeful pursuit of happiness. You describe and define feelings and actions that we can actually take, and do, that can help result in our overall happiness. Awesome! #MLSTL

  4. Leanne | on November 27, 2019 at 3:27 am

    Lots of great advice Sara – it’s like ten blog posts rolled into one! I think happiness is a choice and I think it’s also a response to being resilient and proactive – and making decisions that put you into a good place. Too many people stay stuck and lose their abilty to see the good in life (and there’s a LOT of good when you look for it).
    Since amazing myself by finally quitting my horrible job, I’ve rediscovered joy and I think joy eclipses happiness because it just radiates from within – it’s such a great feeling!
    Thanks for linking up with us at MLSTL and I’ve shared on my SM 🙂

    • Sara on November 27, 2019 at 8:20 am

      Thanks for the comments Leanne. There’s definitely a lot of good in life and well worth seeking out!

  5. Joanne Tracey on November 26, 2019 at 11:08 pm

    I think happiness is something that comes from other endeavours. It’s not so much about being ecstatically joyful all the time, but rather having those moments of simple joy – often in the middle of an otherwise busy time. Do I strive to be happy? To be honest, I don’t think so – I’m absolutely not one of those “if only I had x I’d be happy.” I do, however, feel committed, connected, as though I have a purpose, am more often than not authentic, follow my curiosity, live a creative life, am good at my job. While balance and I aren’t great mates, we’re definitely friendlier than we used to be. So yeah, I think I’m happy – and grateful to be so. Visiting from #MLSTL

    • Sara on November 27, 2019 at 8:21 am

      I agree–happiness is usually the byproduct of other endeavors. Thanks for stopping by!

  6. Nichole Bunnell on November 25, 2019 at 10:34 am

    This post is so beautiful. It brought tears to my eyes. The fight for happiness can cause so much unhappiness. You post is so accurate. Learning to be present, and following your contentment and creativity as amazing advice.

    • Sara on November 27, 2019 at 8:22 am

      Nichole, thank you for your lovely comment–it made my day!

  7. Donna A. on November 24, 2019 at 4:05 am

    Bravo, Sara!
    Love this post. Really an interesting concept, when happiness is often illusive or fleeting, to strive for those other emotions you mentioned. I love this idea. Thank you .
    Donna A.

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Hi, I'm Sara Garska and I'm so happy you're here! Big changes can happen with a shift in thinking. Over time, you transform your life into the one you always dreamed of having. As a certified life and weight loss coach, I can help you create a life you love. Click here to schedule a free 50-minute coaching session.