What’s Holding You Back From Making Your Dreams Come True?

We know, with every fiber of our being, that we are capable of more. To make your dreams come true, you must identify what is really holding you back from making your dreams a reality.

I wrote this 5 years ago and since then, I think I’ve become really good at making dreams come true. Sometimes dreams happen fast and sometimes they can take a while.

What I’ve discovered is that it’s not just motivating ourselves to do a certain behavior, that is our problem but the underlying limiting beliefs and thoughts we have. 

We have a lot going on in our unconscious that can hold us back. We are all primarily running on autopilot and so much of what we do is based on beliefs we have developed over our life time. 

Subconscious doesn’t mean not accessible, it just means some thoughts are so ingrained, we don’t really notice our own beliefs.

Yet, I believe your well-being depends on being able to lovingly go beyond our self-imposed limits in our own unique challenge called life. 

What is This Post About?

This post describes all the ways we talk ourselves out of making our dreams come true. It’s important to be aware of these, so you don’t get stuck wondering why your dream isn’t coming true.

To make your dreams come true, it’s important to have self-awareness about your negative beliefs and create new beliefs.

We often think it’s a matter of self-discipline or sticking with a self-improvement plan. This is more than construction a list of action steps or finding the perfect motivation. 

When you really look at your current beliefs it becomes easier to create new habits that support your dreams and your behaviors and let you do this your own way. 

I’m going to share the things I did to make my dreams come true and how my clients make their dreams come true.  A big part of this is overcoming limiting beliefs.

Here’s the big secret: all of these things I talk about are thought-related. I changed my thoughts and I changed my life!

By following the steps I share, you can make your dreams come true. Some things can literally change overnight!

Have you ever thought you were too old to do something? 

You could start it immediately! This is the youngest you will ever be. You will never regret starting that thing that calls you–but you will regret not doing it.

Do you worry that others won’t approve–learn to not worry about others approval. You can create your own beliefs and develop a growth mindset.

Your life is worth going for your own dreams and making the time to do it. A person who is reaching for their dreams is a person who is truly alive.

The best part! While it may seem at times that certain things are holding you back, what I’m sharing will show you, it’s mostly in your own head.

That my friend is GREAT news! Because the one person you can control is your own self. And here is something really cool, when you attempt to reach your full potential you also increase your self-confidence. 

Identify Your Dreams

What are the dreams you want to make happen? It doesn’t matter if they are small or crazy big. They are your dreams and only you can make them come true.

• Things you want to learn
• Things you want to do
• Things you want to own
• Places you want to see
• Jobs you want to try
• Relationships you want to be in

Dreams aren’t meant to be achieved overnight. We can absolutely take small steps in the direction of our dreams even with self-doubts and even negative thoughts.

Take a few minutes and imagine yourself about five years in the future as if you were living your ideal life. Just have fun with this. It doesn’t have to be realistic or even feel possible right now.

• What do you look like?
• What kinds of things are you doing?
• What are you wearing?
• What are you thinking about?
• What have you been accomplishing? 
• How are you feeling?

Get to know this future version of you. Keeping her in mind will help you move in that direction.

If you are like most women, there may be a part of you saying that this future you is impossible. 

Now take out some paper and list all the reasons you CAN’T make your future you a reality.

What’s holding you back from making your dreams a reality?

Those thoughts on your paper are your limiting beliefs. 

One of the trickiest parts of growing and being successful is dealing with the limiting beliefs of what we are capable of.

To go to new levels of being, you have to expand your vision of what is possible you have to know the subtle thoughts that are stopping you.

We all have beliefs about ourselves, that we tell ourselves, that hold us back from doing things that matter to us. We also have past experiences and self limiting thoughts.

From my vantage point of knowing and working with thousands of people over the years, I see first hand how limiting beliefs hold people back.

It’s not just the circumstances that hold people back; it’s what we believe about our circumstances that hold us back.

To make your dreams come true, you have to address these thoughts and beliefs that are holding you back.

It might feel like it’s out of your control, but I promise you have more control than you believe you do right now.

This isn’t just about success and achievement. Reaching for our dreams does something positive for us. As we develop a different perspective we may even change our definition of success.

Most of you have tried to live up to other’s expectations and that has held you back in some ways. Life is way more fun when you live up to your own potential instead of what other people think you should do.

It invigorates not just our mind but our body. It’s GOOD FOR US to challenge our limiting beliefs and move beyond them.

What dreams do you have? What are those things that you want but aren’t sure you can do. I worked as a career counselor for eight years and know that most people harbor secret hopes about what they really want to be doing.

What is Different About People Who Make Their Dreams Come True?

One, they are willing to believe in the possibility of making their dreams come true.

In my experience, many people will fight to hold onto what IS NOT possible rather than just believing a little bit that something can be different.

The only kind of person that I have never been able to help, are the ones who hold on for dear life to their belief that something isn’t possible. 

Fortunately, that hasn’t happened very often but when someone will not let go of impossibility, dreams can’t come true.

Two, people who make their dreams come true, don’t quit until it happens. They don’t let a failure or two keep them from moving forward. 

Sure they have self-doubt and disappointment, but they accept those feelings as normal, not as a reason to stop.

They also don’t let other people tell them what is possible or not. And they don’t let the following limiting beliefs hold them back.

Yet, many of us believe these are true and that it’s impossible for us to make some kinds of dreams come true!

However, through the years as a counselor, college advisor, and life coach, I know for sure that these hopes and dreams weren’t impossible.

But for the person with the limiting beliefs, their dreams, were as unachievable as climbing Mount Everest was for me. (A limiting belief too!)

Here’s what I do know. Most things that we dream of ARE achievable.

But they can also come with a cost. You may have to give something up to get your dream. Getting your dream may take more time than you want to put into it. And yes, it may be harder than anything you’ve ever done.

And honestly, that scares most people away from even trying. However…

Ignoring Your Dreams Can Hurt You

Yet, staying put and keeping a lid on your dreams isn’t all that great either. By their fifties most people are taking some kind of medication and dealing with physical and emotional problems.

At this time, more people are overweight, sick, anxious, and depressed than at any other time.

Staying in your comfort zone is not healthy! And it’s not really comfortable.

So, let’s get started on making your dreams happen. Here are the dreams I’ve made come true in the past five years.

Dreams That I Made Come True

• I climbed mountains
• I have two websites that make money
• I started a new career as a life coach
• I learned to ride a bike in my fifties
• I fell in love
• I traveled
• I made myself feel beautiful
• I lost weight and got fit
• I went to Disney
• I bought my first car on my own
• I bought my dream house
• I spent two weeks in Europe

Before I could make my dreams a reality, I had to really look at and go beyond my own limiting beliefs.

The following beliefs may be holding you back too! Let’s examine your limiting beliefs and why you are afraid to make your dreams come true.

You Feel Selfish

Who am I to want to achieve my inner dreams and desires? With the prevalence of the news on TV and internet, we are exposed to so many people living lives that are less than ideal.

I struggle with this too. Why do I deserve to have a fulfilled life, when others seem to be living horrible lives? It feels extremely selfish to want to do and have more than I already have.

Yet, I believe with all my heart that we do our best good in the world when we are living our best lives.

We don’t serve anyone when we are unhappy, unfulfilled, and yearning for more. And for what it’s worth, we want, what we want.

I know that the better I’m doing, the more I have to give and share. When I make myself small; I really don’t share as much. When I feel expansive; I share and add to the world.

Yes, there are selfish people out there that expand at the expense of others. But in general, so many more people want to share what they have and make the world a better place.

I’m pretty sure if you’re over here at My Think Big Life, then selfishness isn’t going to be your problem.

It’s Going to be Too Hard

When you look too far into it, it can seem like it’s going to be crazy hard. But here’s a secret.

When you are moving in line with your true inner desires, there is a purpose to the difficulty. It may be “hard” but it’s not the same kind of hard as say, sitting day after day at a job you hate.

And while it may be difficult, it’s not the kind of difficult that’s going to numb you into oblivion. People are hardwired to grow, move, explore, learn, and expand their limits. You are meant to do more.

Raising three children was hard for sure. But that difficulty was nothing compared to the satisfaction and sense of purpose that came from that time.

We’ve all done things that we considered “hard” but because there was a sense of it being the right thing for us, we were able to do it.

I’m Too Old

You’re not! Of all the reasons we limit ourselves, this is the most frustrating because it is so not true in most cases.

And if it is true—it’s not because of the number of years someone has lived. It’s probably more do to physical reasons.

The number of years you have been alive should not ever determine whether you can or cannot do something. Ever.

Years ago, my dad had a friend who was a housewife, as many women of her time were. My dad went to college as an adult and it took him 11 years to complete his degree while working and raising four children.

When his friend expressed interest in going to college, he encouraged her. But she ended up deciding not to, because she would be over 40 when she completed her degree.

My dad challenged this limiting belief by saying that in four years, she was going to be 40 with or without the degree and wouldn’t she rather have the degree?

She stuck with her limiting beliefs and never followed that dream.

I was lucky that I had parents that never accepted age as a reason to not do something. Both my parents got their college degrees as adults.

They shared adventures through their 40’s, 50’s, 60’s, and 70’s. Now in her 80’s my mom is discovering the world of travel and other new adventures.

But I’ve met people in their 20’s and 30’s that feel too old to do something.

Age really is just a number. Don’t ever let age be the reason you don’t try something. I’ve started new careers in every decade I’ve lived.

It Will Take Too Long

Yep, and it will probably take longer even than you think it will. I can remember a time when I had so many dreams and no idea how I would ever get there.

I advocate getting started anyway.

Here’s what NOT TO DO. Don’t try to go at something full force, in such a way that you overwhelm yourself and your current situation. I saw this SO many times as a college advisor.

Someone would come in as an adult and feel like they were so behind that they had to take as many hours as they possibly could.

Then they crashed and burned. Classes were failed or dropped. Financial aid put in jeopardy. Even if they managed to get through, their grades suffered. In all the years I advised, I never once saw this work for anyone.

If you’re making a change or starting something new; start it in an way and amount, that you can successfully handle.

If that is 15 minutes a day—go for it. You will be absolutely surprised how much progress you can make by consistently working towards something.

And those smaller starts trick your mind a little bit. Instead of your brain thinking that you are doing some big scary thing; it happily enjoys this little not-scary bit of progress.

The result is that you move toward and beyond your limiting belief almost without effort.

Other People Won’t Approve

This starts with you—not with other people. I’m not a fan of people running out on children or other obligations. Don’t do that.

But there’s no reason to totally ignore things that you want because you have obligations. It just may look different for a while.

Start small but start. Let this thing you want into your life in some way. As you become more sure; you will exude more sureness. Other people (a.k.a. family and friends) will accept what you accept.

When people affirm your limiting belief, as in saying things like, “You can’t do that,” they are simply reflecting your own ambivalence back to you.

It may feel like you need other people’s approval to want what you want. But you don’t.

I Don’t Have Time

Make room in your life for your dreams. Far too many women, act like slaves to their families. Kids and partners can usually do more. And if they won’t, hire help.

I am a firm believer that hiring someone to clean your home pays for itself. Most cleaning ladies will do a load or two of laundry and change beds as part of the deal too.

You deserve help and support in moving beyond your limiting beliefs!

I’m serious here. Your time is valuable! If you’re at all like me, a dirty home eats up energy and time in two ways.

First, the act of cleaning takes time. Some people love to do it. I don’t. So, in addition to taking my time, it takes my energy because I’m usually stressing over the fact that I’m not doing it or that it’s dirtier than I like.

It’s a struggle I don’t believe is worth it. Start with once or twice a month. I swear, if you are a non-cleaner but clean-lover like me, this will change your life. It frees up so much time and energy.

The amazing women that have helped me over the years, clean so much faster and more efficiently than me, it’s not even funny. And they are so appreciative of being able to use their skills and earn money for their families.

And if you are thinking to yourself, “I can’t afford that!” Remember, I Can’t Afford It is a limiting belief as well.

Build Momentum

Each limiting belief that you move beyond helps build your success muscle. And you never know which one will teach you, FINALLY, that you can do more than you thought you could. And once you get that, no one can take that away from you.

Moving beyond limiting beliefs is actually kind of fun. I love challenging beliefs about age, aging, physical limits, success, and so on. I didn’t realize it at the time, but a few years ago, my limiting beliefs were literally crushing the life out of me.

I don’t recommend getting to that point!

But I do recommend connecting to what it is you want out of life and taking whatever size actions you can towards that. It’s good for your body, your mind, and your spirit.