How to Stop Cravings

Resisting cravings isn’t about a life of deprivation or endless missing the substance or thing. When you get to the other side, there is joy, freedom, and peace. Your life will be better!

I’ve been helping women learn to get through cravings for five years now. And of course, I regularly deal with my own cravings and urges. Here is the way I have learned and taught how to stop cravings.

Cravings can be acute, coming up suddenly, almost seemingly out of the blue. Or cravings can chronic, you crave the same thing every day at the same time.

Either way, they can feel ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE to resist. But I’m here to tell you they are not. And here’s the best part, you won’t be using much willpower or even using “distractions.”

Why Traditional Methods of Resisting Cravings Don’t Work Long-Term

I’m going to give you a simple process that you can use for any type of craving and at anytime. It’s probably going to be very different than anything you’ve used before.

That’s because most of what we assume we need to do, does not really work to get rid of cravings for good. Each time you resist, it’s like you are starting at the bottom of the mountain with a long climb ahead.

Recently I read an article in a magazine about dealing with cravings.

The article went on to give a list of things to DO when a craving hits. The usual suspects were there, such as go for a walk.

I’m a great fan of walking and it can be helpful but it is not a substitute for doing the body and emotional work. (Don’t worry, this isn’t anything crazy or difficult or even weird.)

The reason that doing (using distractions) doesn’t work is you are only accessing your brain.

You think you know what to do. How many of these sound familiar?

• You tell yourself you won’t give in today.
• You remind yourself how bad you’ll feel.
• You tell yourself you’re a loser, have no willpower.
• You think there must be something wrong with you.

There’s not. Your brain is doing what it is designed to do. Keep you alive. However, in today’s world of super-charged food, the brain struggles.

And you cannot solve this problem with your brain! Thinking about the problem and giving in is simply prolonging the problem.

The way around this is to use your body and emotions to create new neural pathways and let the old ones wither away.

To help you even more, I wrote another post 10 Steps to Get Through Your Intense Cravings and it includes a one-page printable cheat sheet.

Stopping Cravings is a Life Skill You Can Use Forever

The fun things about cravings, is it might feel like Whack-a-Mole at first. You extinguish one and then you realize you have another.

I had a client that had a “popcorn at night problem.” I taught her my method. Then she had a “chocolate at night problem.” I forget what the third thing was, when the lightbulb went off. It was an “eating at night problem.”

We finished our work together years ago. She emails me a couple of times a year to tell me how much this helped her because she was able to reach her weight and health goals and maintain them. Better than that, she lives a life of joy.

Yes, there is JOY on the other side of your cravings!

Cravings can be for anything. The most common ones I deal in my practice are for food and alcohol.

But I also see cravings for people, for social media, TV, or anything that we think we “have to have” even though it is causing problems in our lives.

When I begin work with any woman who has a strong habit that is causing her problems, I tell them that there will come a day, when I mention this problem that she will look at me in some confusion, because she has literally forgotten about it.

They never believe me until the day it happens. And it always does.

This is one of the reasons I take a lot of information at the beginning of a coaching relationship, and I document along the way. As our brain changes, we forget how we used to be.

So, I know how powerful this process is and how it literally is life-changing.

What Happens When You Get a Craving?

Cravings will hit your body, your mind, and your feelings all at the same time. It’s almost like something is hijacking your body and brain!

This is the power of habits, your neural pathways, and the cycle of rewards. You aren’t deficient, lazy, or messed up.

For reasons that have been helpful to humans overall, you have inadvertently created a powerful craving that might seem undefeatable.

First, let’s talk about cravings in a factual way. There are things going on in your body and that is what you are reacting to and what you want to stop.

You will feel things:

• Heart beating
• Frustration
• Urgency
• Fear
• Restlessness
• Impatience
• Anger
• Resistance

I describe it as you get an itch that you feel desperate to scratch.

In addition, of course, by now there are some negative consequences you are dealing with. You might have health problems, excess weight, low energy, feelings of anxiety, stress, or depression.

I’d say one of the big things is that you also feel out-of-control. Not fun!

Why Willpower Isn’t the Whole Answer to Stop a Craving

I also know many of things you will face as you finally decide to get rid of the habit. Most of us know when something becomes a problem, though we may deny it for years.

The reason it isn’t easy to get rid of a craving is because we only attempt to change the action, the habit.

Behind that habit can be a lot of physical, emotional, and mental influences that affect whether we will be successful or not.

The problem with willpower as the only tool in your box, is that it runs out. Sometimes by lunch time!

So, the process in my coaching practice, is I have the client attempt to not do the thing. That is when you will discover all the reasons you do the thing!

A lot of it is tied up in your beliefs, thoughts, and feelings.

At first, you only have access to your mind, the mental part that says you have to quit. But there are all these invisible forces that seem to compel you to keep going. It feels baffling when you want to much to resist but you can’t.

The reason you can’t is because a major part of you, about 95%, that drives actions is unconscious (at this time) and your unconscious part want what it wants.

So, when your efforts only have 5% of your resources in the game, it really is impossible to quit or resist cravings.

What You Can Expect Once You Get Rid of Cravings

Honestly, I’ve had women who had done things for YEARS, almost forget that they had that habit as they’ve extinguished the cravings in a few weeks.

This is because when you work with the 95% of your innate resources, you have more power and resilience working on your behalf.

Right now, your brain is really tricky and can literally talk you into continuing to give into the cravings. Sometimes, it is so fast, you aren’t even aware.

As you gain awareness and compassion for the parts of you that really want to give in, you begin to work with your entire person.

So, not only do you get rid of the cravings, but you also grow in all other areas. The person who quits compulsively eating at night or quits drinking, can do anything because of the skills you’ve learned in the process.

It’s the process that changes your life!

When my clients go through the process and come out on the other end, they are aware of how their particular brain works and they are never the same again.

The woman who can stop a craving (because she knows how to feel her way through it) can do other things that formerly felt impossible.

It’s a win-win. You not only resist cravings—you can stand up for yourself in all the other ways as well.

Most of my work has revolved around problem eating and alcohol, but the process works with anything that you want to quit but find it really hard to do so.

I’m talking about those things you do that you tell yourself every morning that this is the day you won’t do it.

And every day, you feel the shame of indulging yet again. It doesn’t have to be this way.

I have had clients resolve problem habits that they have had for years!

Why Do We Develop Cravings?

When a craving comes on strong, it might feel IMPOSSIBLE to resist. And you have proof! You haven’t been able to resist the thing for years perhaps.

But strong cravings can absolutely be resisted and eventually they can be extinguished. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. You won’t have to go through this forever.

My clients are so surprised when the day comes when I ask them about something, maybe the pint of ice-cream they eat every night while watching TV or the two candy bars they eat every day at work.

They look at me and it dawns on them that this thing, that they used to do every day, is a thing of the past. It’s just not even on their radar.

However, in the beginning it might feel that you’ll never be able to resist.

This is because of how we are designed. Much of what we do is on autopilot. Our brains are kind of lazy. They like not having to think about things too much.

And if you are an over-thinker who doesn’t believe that, I get it. But over-thinking is really a different kind of lazy brain. (I’m not calling YOU lazy) The brain will recycle the same thought for hours pretending it’s doing something useful.

So, once your brain thinks it has found a solution, it will repeat it over and over until it has a strong neural pathway that seems impossible to change.

A common example is coming home after a long day of work. You either pour a glass of wine or maybe have a treat later in the evening.

It feels like blessed relief! It feels good. No not good, great.

So, the next time you have a hard day, your brain lights up and says, “Hey I’ve got the solution! Let’s have that thing that worked so well last time.”

That sounds like a really good idea.

At some point, you find yourself turning to your thing every night. Then it becomes clear it’s a problem, but you cannot even imagine finding relief without the substance or habit.

Fast forward a couple of years and you can’t figure out why you can’t break your nightly ice-cream habit. You’ve gained 10 pounds and you know that ice-cream isn’t helping. Plus, you feel bloated in the morning.

You know it’s not good for you but every night that intense craving starts, and you just can’t resist it.

I want to add, sometimes we start a habit because it enhances a good time. We often celebrate or connect with people through food or drink.

These habits start as a way to help yourself but in the end, they create more problems. However, at this point any time you even start to think about changing, your brain seems to go haywire with panic.

Here’s the thing. After a while, the relief is only because you gave into the craving. The substance or habit isn’t actually making things better; it’s making everything worse. Yet, the desire for the RELIEF is so strong, it feels like it is because of the substance or habit.

Remember this, it is not a personal failing on your part, no matter what you or others think. It is a combination of addictive substances (I don’t think anyone gets addicted to broccoli, right?) and how your brain works.

You aren’t deficient or weak. You have a brain that does what brains do. In this day, where so many substances hyper activate your brain, you can be stuck in a problematic habit without even knowing what in the heck happened.

Can You Really Get Rid of a Craving?

You can.

To some extent, it’s easier than you believe right now. But it takes some work on your part. I said, some work. But this work is much easier if you go into it with a spirit of curiosity and compassion.

At some point in the process, my clients tell me that they look forward to getting a craving because they believe in their own power so much.

It’s usually about this time that the cravings go away. Honestly, once you are willing to have a craving, it loses its power over you.

The good news is that cravings can go away within a few weeks when you are willing to feel them.

Contrary to what you might believe now, it is in the feeling of a craving, that you are eventually able to make it go away for good. It goes away because you rewire that part of your brain. When the old neural pathway is no longer used, it doesn’t seem to work anymore.

How to Get Rid of a Craving

Pick a day to not give in to the craving

Okay, we have to start somewhere. That is usually the day we decide to not give in to the craving.

For our example, we’re going to say that every night you eat a pint of chocolate chip ice-cream. You’ve been doing this for years and you can’t imagine not having it.

Your brain screams at you if you even think about not having it.

However, we’ve got to get some data and the only way to do that is to decide to not have the thing. With my clients, we rarely start with the hardest thing but eventually you get to that point.

So, for the week ahead, you decide that you aren’t going to have your ice-cream. You might even feel excited that the time has come to address this craving.

When the week is complete, you see that you gave into the craving five times and resisted twice. Great job!

Now you have some information. The next part of this article, is walking you through the process of how to do this.

I also want to remind you that any part of the following you are able to do is worth celebrating. Most women will tell me about their week in shame. They gave in five times! How can you celebrate that.

You celebrate because somehow, you didn’t give in two times.  To be successful, you must acknowledge ANY positive results. I’ll go more into that later.

Now for what to do when you get a craving.

Acknowledge the craving

This might sound like common sense, but most of us do one of two things when a craving hits. We either rush to give in and make it go away. Or we spend a while debating in our mind until we give in.

The bottom line is we give in.

What I want you to do is slow it down. In the beginning, you are going to give in sometimes, but when we slow things down, you begin to have options. One of those options is perhaps not giving in.

Acknowledging the craving is giving yourself a few moments of breathing space. Assure yourself that you can of course have the ice-cream if you really want to.

Feel it thoroughly in your body

This is the part most women struggle with at first but is what ultimately will free you forever from your craving.

You have got a strong craving happening. You acknowledge that it is happening. Usually this is when you go into debating in your mind until you give in. That always feels like crap.

This time, you are going to give yourself a couple of minutes to feel the craving. To do this you have to get out of your mind and into your body.

Stop thinking!

You’ll use your imagination to scan your body and find the craving or an uncomfortable feeling. The most common places are the neck, chest, shoulders, or gut.

It might feel like pressure, squeezing, weight, or some other really uncomfortable feeling.

This part is so important! When you realize how uncomfortable or painful the craving is in your physical body, you can understand better why it’s hard to resist. Of course we want to make that go away.

Here’s the good news. That discomfort will last less than TWO MINUTES. That’s all. Now it might come back later, but it really only lasts a couple of minutes tops.

In the beginning it may feel like all you do is feel but I promise, it will let up the more you do it.

When I feel an uncomfortable feeling in my body, I usually just say to myself, “This feels really uncomfortable.”

Let it know you feel it and that it’s okay

At first it may feel scary when you begin feeling your craving in your body. Most of have zero experience in this. We’ve been conditioned to believe emotions are in our brains. No, thoughts are in our brains—emotions are in our bodies.

It’s important to know that all feelings are okay. When you learn to feel them rather than reacting to them, they will feel less scary.

In this post, I realize that I am going to be talking about your emotions as if they are a separate part of you. It’s helpful to think of them as younger parts of you and you want to accept and comfort them.

That sounds weird but trust me on this. The more you love and welcome all your feelings, the quicker you’ll extinguish the craving.

Your cravings are here because your brain thinks the substance is helpful in managing your life. But at this point it has become a problem.

Being stern or mean to yourself does not work long-term!

No negotiating or bargaining with it (it will try, and your brain can be so sneaky)

Once negotiating starts, game over, you’ll probably be giving in.

So, I recommend don’t even let your thinking go there. How do I know, because in my own life, when I start going over it in my mind, I always give in.

Instead, get into your body and feel the craving and then do the following.

Write down all the sneaky things your craving is saying

If you can, write down all the sneaking things your craving is saying. Here are some examples:

• I’ve had a really bad day and I need this
• I’ve had a really good day and I deserve this
• I’ve resisted for three days, this once won’t hurt
• I just can’t…
• It’s not fair…
• I’ll get back on it tomorrow…

Acknowledge this and assure the part of you that you are aware that they need something. Put your hand on your heart and ask what you really need (rest, food if you are hungry, connection, movement).

Then listen and do your best to give yourself what you need. A lot of times it is rest of some kind. Many women overwork and over-do for others.

You may begin to discover that you are over-eating or over-drinking to cope with your life as it is.

Remind yourself why you are doing this

You are doing this because you want to feel better and stop feeling bad. It really is that simple.

Celebrate everything and anything you can.

Why Resisting Cravings is Important

For the record, I eat treats and I encourage my clients to have some “fun” food at times. When I talk about resisting cravings, I mean those cravings that cause you to overeat, eat at times you hadn’t planned for, drink every night, or any other habit that feels like it has become a problem.

Giving into these cravings keep the problem going for not just days, but sometimes for years. This post is for those kinds of cravings! The ones that are causing problems and shame.

This moment is just a small moment in time. Right now, all you can feel is how hard it is. Your brain hates the thought that this is going to take so long. It wants to end the pain right now. It sees the future as almost unbearable.

Your mind is going to want to weasel out of this commitment you’ve made to yourself.

Right now, you only know how bad it feels. I promise you that tonight when you go to bed, you’ll feel a sense of wonder that you made it.

In the morning, you’ll feel good. You won’t feel the after affects.

This is important work my friends. When you continue to give into your craving, you feel out-of-control. Once you get this down, you will feel more confident and in control of your life!

What to Do When a Craving Hits

After you’ve been successful for a period, you might be tempted to go back to your craving. You feel better, don’t have all the shame, and for the most part you really have gotten past your cravings.

And then, these thoughts may come up.

• I can handle it
• I don’t feel as good as I think I should
• I haven’t lost any weight
• I feel great, one taste or drink won’t hurt
• I deserve it, I’ve had a bad day
• Now, honestly, I have given into all of these and so have all my clients. That’s why I can give you a heads up that this will come up and it will seem like a good idea.

As you become more aware of your internal talk to yourself and how you feel in the moment, you will be able to see these for what they are.

Since we all know that things will come up in life, my advice is to plan ahead and decide ahead how you will handle your problem food, drink, or habits.

How to Plan for Special Occasions

Recently I was talking to one of my clients and she was celebrating how she had not only, not overindulged on a vacation, but she had lost weight as well.

I have all my clients plan ahead and decide ahead of time, a loose plan for how they want to feel before, during, and after the special occasion, trip, or vacation.

When I say plan, I don’t mean planning every single bite. However, it’s a good idea to stick to as many good habits as possible.

My client decided to stick to eating good meals and no snacking. She also planned to have a piece of cake and a glass of wine at a party. She also wanted to stick to her sleeping schedule and make time to go for walks each morning.

She had a great time! She felt great the entire weekend and she came back excited that she had been able to celebrate, have fun, and feel amazing.

She did not feel one bit deprived.

Remember, stuff will come up all the time. One of the most important pieces of mindset work, is to learn to not let these events throw you off.

That being said, sometimes we want to loosen up a bit when something special comes up. Allowing for some special things, takes deprivation away. Nothing is off-limits. But in our best interest, we want to keep our craving meter low.

The Benefits of Getting Rid of Cravings

Here’s the truth. It feels way better to get rid of cravings rather than fight them.

So much of modern life is designed to keep us hooked to substances and activities. True freedom is deciding how you want to live your life and how you want to feel.

We do all things because of how we want to feel. We do things that we think will make us feel better and we don’t do things we think will cause us pain.

So many of our addictions are because we think the thing will make us feel better. That is a painful trap.

Instead we get trapped in a cycle of doing the things, hating ourselves, vowing to change, and then starting the whole cycle over again.

We feel our best when we are in control. Cravings are not your enemy and it doesn’t have to be a battle to the death.

When my clients can kick a habit to the curb and easily resist, they feel so many things:

• Confident
• In-control
• Peaceful
• Strong
• Whole

I’m telling you this from my heart. It will seem unfair that you must go through this. And to some extent it IS unfair. No one wants to give up something that has seemed to provide some comfort.

But that comfort is fleeting. However, the shame, disappointment, and frustration are what is really real and destructive.

This is your opportunity to work with your body, mind, and soul and not against it. In my experience awareness is always helpful and that is my aim for this post.

Now you are aware, that you can control your cravings. It is possible. And it is the best feeling in the world. No kidding!

Watch my video How to Stop a Craving here.

More Help to Stop Your Cravings

I’ve written 50+ posts on food, eating, and weight loss. Here are a few of my favorites that will help create a foundation for stopping cravings.

When you are taking better care of yourself and eating enough, cravings are much easier to deal with.

10 Powerful Tips to Lose Weight

How to Stop Compulsive Overeating

How to Feel Your Feelings and Not Drown in Them