10 Steps to Get You Through an Intense Craving

Here are 10 tips to get your through an intense craving. The great news is that by doing this, you can get rid of the craving for good. Included is a printable list that you can print and use as needed.

The benefits of doing this will be:

• feeling better
• more confidence
• trust in yourself
• eventual freedom from a negative habit, dependence, or addiction

Here’s the thing. Cravings are a fact of life in our modern lives. We are dealing with substances and activities that did not exist even a hundred years ago.

Today, instead of just trying to satisfy hunger or our appetite, we also deal with:

• food cravings
• sugar cravings
• chocolate cravings
• snack cravings
• ​wine and other alcohol
• urges to constantly look at our phone

You may feel like some kind of loser because you have cravings and urges that you can’t resist. You are not. You are not the problem. The problem is that you are up against so many substances and activities that are hyper-addictive.

In the past, you might have read articles telling you to create distractions to take the edge off but just distracting yourself and using willpower will not give you long-term results.

I am passionate about helping women not be at the mercy of their cravings no matter what they are. I’m talking about sugar, alcohol, social media, relationships, shopping, or watching TV. There are more, but these are some of the common ones.

It feels great to decide to break a craving—it feels terrible when it’s actually time to do it.

For more help with cravings, definitely go read this post: How to Stop Cravings.

How Intense Cravings Surprise You

We’ve all been there, all “let’s go!” when we decide we’re going to deal with an unhealthy craving once and for all.

• No wine tonight!
• No sugar today!
• Limited time scrolling!

Then the time comes.

What??? This feels terrible telling myself I can’t have the thing I want so desperately! Before we even get to the physical withdrawal, we have to deal with our panicky brain.

Remember, this is your oldest most primitive part of your brain. It really does believe that the substance or activity is helpful. You and I both know at this point; this substance or activity is NOT helpful and may be causing negative results now.

Instead of distractions, I’m going to teach you some mindfulness techniques that will not only help in the moment but will lead to not being at the mercy of your cravings in the future.

Here’s the thing. If you feel that giving in is the only solution, that is your sign that this is a problem. If it were easy to resist; it wouldn’t be a problem.

So, if you have any doubts about how powerful a particular craving is, commit to giving it up. If there is no problem, like if I decided to give up broccoli, I might miss it mildly occasionally but it’s not going to be an issue.

However, if you find the cravings come on even stronger when you decide to stop consuming or doing something, AND that the thing is causing a problem, then this post will be very helpful.

It’s the combination of you can’t stop the behavior and there are negative consequences because of it.

Some examples of behavior + not being able to stop = negative consequences

• Overdrinking: hangovers, bad sleep, puffy face, wasted time
• Overeating: extra weight, digestion problems, lack of energy
• Too much scrolling/social media: wasted time, bored, don’t do meaningful activities

Women often feel a desperation to stop these kinds of activities and they’ve tried everything.

The problem with the “everything” they try, is that they are trying to solve the problem with the same brain that created the problem.

Here’s the hitch with that.

Our brains are unfeeling and don’t really give a shit about how we feel, how we’re messing up our bodies and lives, or even about other people.

You, my friend care about all of that!

The brain while complex, operates mostly on autopilot. It seeks pleasure, wants to avoid pain, and wants to do that as easily as possible.

Your brain is amazing, but it is literally designed to efficiently seek feeling good and avoiding pain. In our modern world of addictive substances and activities, our brain quickly, scary quickly, creates neural pathways that keep us hooked.

And these pathways are powerful! 

If you grew up where there was snow, think about the difference between sledding down the hill on new snow versus sledding down the hill on a packed down track.

On the new snow, progress is slow. Once that snow is packed down, you fly with ease. That’s why one minute you can be planning to go for a walk after work and the next minute you have a glass of wine in one hand and a bag of chips in the other.

And it happens so fast, it blows your mind. That’s because you have reinforced the snack and wine habit and so that comes so easily that it even feels necessary!

There is no need to berate yourself or feel worse. Just remind yourself that this horrible desperation is step one in this process. It is time to admit to yourself that this craving is signaling a dependence of some kind.

This is a good thing my friends!

So, yeah. The moment you decide to change how you react to your cravings, there may be some mild or severe panic happening in your brain.

This is not a sign that anything is going wrong. It’s a sign that your brain is doing exactly what it is supposed to be doing.

Here’s the good news. Your brain is very changeable. It doesn’t have an opinion. If you decide to make a change and follow through, your brain will change. Literally change and adapt.

But to do that, you have to work with the unconscious parts so that you can actually get those new tracks laid down. This takes time but not as much time as you might worry about.

Stick with me. The rest of this post is going to help you get through these moments until they DISAPPEAR and you build new habits and neural pathways.

To do this, you must learn about your feelings.

What is a Feeling and What is an Emotion?

I will use emotion and feeling interchangeably. While some folks, separate the two as one being in the body and one being in the head, I go with using them interchangeably and that we feel them in our body.

Sure we can think about them, but you feel them in your body.

A feeling or emotion is a chemical process that happens in your body. There is stimulus, and then we feel something.

This something is happening in your physical body. When you learn to slow everything down, you’ll also see that you have some thoughts and that these are creating the feeling.

We think it’s the thing but it’s often what we think about the thing that creates the emotional response.

What Do We Do Instead of Feeling Our Emotions?

Most of you are not aware of this. It feels like feelings just happen and then we quickly move to our thinking to process the emotion.

Here’s an example. Someone says something to you, and it catches you off-guard and you suddenly feel upset, maybe even mad.

A lot of things are going on, most of which, you aren’t aware of because your brain springs into action.

• Danger danger! Your body goes a little crazy
• Face flushing
• Heart beating fast
• Pit in your gut or pressure in your chest
• Choked up
• Desire to run away

Those physical things get underway almost immediately. Your brain is on it though. Because this anger feels dangerous, your mind will try to relieve the situation.

You might react to the emotion

If your go-to is react, you might get defensive and fight back. You might yell or say something mean back. You might hit something or kick a door or stomp your foot.

Most women think this is feeling a feeling. Actually this is a way for you to AVOID feeling the emotion. You are trying to push it away by some kind of reaction.

You might resist the emotion

You all are very familiar with stuffing an emotion back down where we believe it belongs. I love the visual of stuffing an emotion back down. This is us, trying desperately not to feel. Please for the love of all, don’t let me feel this right now.

We get back into our head and convince ourselves that we are NOT going to feel this right now.

You might try to push it on to someone else

You have to love the cleverness of this one. When we feel uncomfortable, what a brilliant solution to make it someone else’s fault.

She shouldn’t have said that

He shouldn’t have done that

The world is a terrible place

Those people are the problem

My work/boss/coworkers are the problem

When we blame, we absolve ourselves from the task of feeling our emotion. Why should we have to do the work when it clearly is someone else’s fault?

Hear me out.

I know people do shitty things to us and people we love. I’m not absolving them of anything. However, it doesn’t change the fact that blaming will not help you with feeling.

And remember, I’m not in the business of who is right or not right. I’m in the business of teaching you to not have cravings.

To do that, you have to be aware of when you react, resist, or blame.

The good news is that when you learn to feel all the feels, you are better able to deal with the things that hurt, anger, frustrate, and bother you.

It’s a win-win.

How to Feel Your Feelings When You Have a Craving

When you have a craving, you can have a pretty intense reaction. Here are works I’ve heard my clients use and ones that I use.

You can feel many things that you are aware of:

• Fidgety
• Restless
• Angry
• Frustrated
• Scared
• Panicked
• Like you have an itch that needs scratched

So, your body is alerting you to this is a problem.

It’s not. No matter how frustrated, restless, or itchy you feel, it’s not a problem.

Usually this is where most of us lose the battle because it feels like it is a problem that only giving in will solve.

That’s the nature of dependence, it convinces us that the only solution is doing the activity or consuming the substance.

But back to sitting with the feeling. When all the alarm bells start going off, instead of doing something, do nothing.

Just be there and put your attention on your body. Use your imagination to scan your body and find where there is some discomfort.

Once you find it, feel it. Acknowledge that it feels uncomfortable. You don’t even have to give the feeling a name. Recognizing that it is uncomfortable is enough.

Be curious about it. How big is it? What is the sensation? Pressure, squeezing, pinching? Stay with it until it dissolves.

You’ll be surprised to realize that this awful feeling only lasts a couple of minutes, if that.

What??? I’m not going to feel that all day?

No, once you feel the discomfort it goes away for a while. It might come up again and you do the same thing.

Every time you do this, you are making a new path. By not going down the old path, you are making a stronger neural pathway that is aligned with what you consciously want to do.

Eventually, the craving will just not be as strong—it loses its power over you.

10 Tips to Get Your Through an Intense Craving

1. Remember at first you are just creating some breathing room
2. Sit with Your Craving
3. Tune into your body
4. Have some go-to phrases
5. Feel the discomfort
6. Ask yourself what you really need
7. Make plans to take care of yourself 
8. Express gratitude for every craving
9. Give yourself tons of praise
10. Giving in doesn’t mean it’s over; it’s just data

Remember at first you are just creating some breathing room

One thing that often catches us off guard with cravings is how intense and powerful they feel when we first decide to do something about it.

When we have had wine every night for years or had late night binges, it can be hard to turn that switch off.

It’s helpful to keep in mind that this intensity is totally normal. Habits can be really strong. So at first perhaps all you can do is create a little breathing space.

Even if you do give in, it will be in a more aware and conscious way. This is essential. For a long time your habit has been strong and unconscious. You know you are doing it but you feel powerless.

Then as you slow it down, you begin to realize what is happening. With the following steps, you’ll be able to recognize the pattern and this little bit of space, of breathing room is where you will eventually find the power to break the dependency.

Sit with your craving

The entire key to resisting a craving is learning to sit with it. You don’t actually have to sit, sometimes you’ll be staying or lying down when a craving hits.

The point to is feel the craving thoroughly and in your body. Remember, your brain a.k.a. thinking, is of no real help in this situation, except to remind yourself to get into your body with the above phrases.

Sitting with a craving means getting out of your head thinking about the craving and to feeling the craving in your body.

This truly is the tip that you cannot skip. It is the only way to move past a craving and towards the time when you get rid of the craving for good.

Have some go-to phrases

Having some phrases to tell yourself when a craving hits can create enough breathing room and space for you to feel the craving long enough that you can sit with it and long enough for it to pass.

I keep a list of easy to remember phrases to deal with any intense cravings. Here are some of my favorites.

It will not be any easier tomorrow or any other day.

Each craving I let myself feel brings me closer to freedom from it

No negotiating (I’ll teach you about this)

This craving will only last a couple of minutes

It’s only 90 seconds

This is totally normal

Tune into your body

The reason why resisting cravings seems so impossible is because most of us only use 5% of our available power. Our executive function knows we don’t need that pint of ice-cream and urges us to give it up. There’s your 5%.

However, you have so much more power available to you!

To access that power, you simply need to tune into how your body feels. Most of my clients find this a little difficult at first.

Most women aren’t used to noticing what is really going on. We think we’re dealing with a weak, horrible part of our selves.

But I’m telling you, as crazy as your craving, habit, dependence, or addiction feels, it is TRYING to help you in some way.

By tuning into what your body is feeling, you can begin to get to the root of what is going on.

Don’t worry, you won’t be psychoanalyzing yourself!

Why it can be helpful to eventually understand how you got here, for the moment, it’s enough to feel this powerful craving in your body.

Here’s how to tune into your body. When a craving hits, imagine getting out of your head and using your imagination to scan your body.

You are looking for a place in your body that feels UNCOMFORTABLE. It might even feel a little painful.

Common places that these kinds of things show up are in our chest, heart region, gut, shoulders, neck, or throat.

Find where you feel uncomfortable and just rest your attention there. Allow that feeling to just be there. Be curious about it. I usually just tell myself that “this feels uncomfortable.”

This discomfort may feel intense at first, but it will begin to dissolve after about a minute or two.

When you begin to break a long-standing habit, you may have to repeat this a few times a day. As long as you are not giving in, the habit will eventually just go away without a big hurrah. Just one day, you’ll realize you don’t really crave that thing anymore.

Ask yourself what you really need

Once the intensity has passed, rest your hand wherever you felt that discomfort. Ask yourself, what is it you really need. And listen.

Again, this is using your imagination. It might feel like you are making it up. That doesn’t matter. You’re not going to get rid of a habit without discovering what it is you really need instead.

We’ve been taught to ignore or disregard our imagination, intuition, gut feelings, and inner nudges or worries.

When we do this, we don’t have access to most of our intelligence and power.

So, ask, “What is it I really need?” Listen and take note.

You might be surprised by what you hear.

• You’re hungry (restrictive diets can backfire with uncontrollable urges to overeat at times)
• You need more rest
• You need to do more things you love to do
• You need to get outside more
• You need to get out of a relationship
• It’s time to take a step in a new direction

Be grateful for your craving

Tell that part of you, “thank you.” At the moment you may hate your cravings and hate yourself for not being strong enough to resist.

Your cravings actually are here to help you. They are trying to help you feel better and avoid some pain.

In the end, you will have to face this pain. It’s easier to deal with it on your own terms and listening to your own wisdom is the beginning.

Make plans to take care of yourself 

This is super helpful. Your plan will depend on what your craving is, when it happens, and what triggers it.

When I have clients that overeat while snacking, planning is critical and that usually means planning for filling meals eaten when hungry. No winging it!

If you are going to stop drinking in the evenings, what are you going to do instead? Will you have alcohol free drinks on hand? Will you have activities planned? No winging it!

If overeating or snacking between meals is a problem, eat more nutritious food at your meals so you can rule out hunger.

Eating good filling meals helps with so many cravings! It’s such a nurturing loving thing to do for yourself.

If you haven’t noticed by now, everything around resisting a craving needs to be loving and compassionate.

You cannot hate your way out of cravings, habits, dependences, and addictions.

I gave up all alcohol a while back. I was going through a breakup, and I didn’t want to numb myself at all.

I was pretty miserable! But just for a week or two.

Over and over, I had to deal with my cravings to talk to my ex and occasionally deal with my cravings for something to make my grief go away.

Honestly, I have never been so proud of myself. I did the hard thing. I accepted a situation I did not want or like and I did it without numbing.

Here was the plan I made for myself. I made it up as I went but it has been so helpful I do all the things on a regular basis now.

• I ate my meals, and I ate anything that sounded good to me at that time.
• I made sure I always had appealing food around.
• I planned fun outings for myself every week.
• I treated myself by buying non-food rewards. I’ve always loved rocks and crystals and I found a beautiful shop where I had so much joy finding beautiful crystals to bring home.
• Most days, I exercised gently. In the beginning, I didn’t have much energy, so I did really gentle workouts.
• To help with sleep, I began getting up earlier than I had been. This really was one of the best things I did since it ended up helping me fall asleep and stay asleep better.
• Since I work from home, it can be easy to not do some of the tasks. I started going to a nearby coffee shop every morning where I would rapidly write my content for my two blogs and weekly email. It was a great feeling that every single day, I knew I was creating.

Other ways you can take care of yourself is by getting a massage, drinking plenty of water, concentrating on the health benefits, and/or joining some kind of support group.

Give yourself tons of praise

You deserve so much praise. Give yourself some for getting to this point in the post! 

This is a lot of information to take in. I don’t expect you to remember it all at first but there will be a day when you are trying to resist a craving and you will remember a piece of it.

Sometimes it can literally just be a phrase that makes all the difference.

Every day give yourself praise for your efforts. This is tremendously important to the process. Think about it this way. You are taking something away from a scared, anxious part of yourself.

That’s a big deal and you deserve to make a big deal about it with yourself!

Giving in doesn’t mean it’s over; it’s just data

In the beginning you may find yourself giving in more than resisting. My clients will often feel bummed that they can’t resist every day.

That’s okay. You still learn from the process. Instead of being mad at yourself, look for all the ways you did better.

Maybe instead of binging on something seven days a week, you only binged four days. That means you resisted the craving on three days.

In coaching, we break this down and look at how you resisted versus what happened when you gave in. We use that data to plan for the next week.

For so long, you have tried to not think too much about WHY you are giving in and keeping this habit alive.

The habit started for a reason. But your biology is what keeps it going. We live in a world of highly addictive substances and activities, so blaming yourself is not very helpful.

I find it most helpful to treat what is highly emotional in an unemotional way. Your brain isn’t emotional, it’s just doing what brains do when a neural pathway has been formed.

And now you are going to systematically dismantle the destructive pathway and build a new healthy one.

Beating an Old Craving Will Change Your Life

When you change a habitual pattern, maybe one you’ve struggle with for years, you are changing your whole self.

I see this over and over. What you learn from dealing with your cravings is you become stronger and more confident in everything.

When we are at the mercy of our cravings, we feel weak and ashamed. The day you realize that you aren’t just powering your way through and that you have actually gotten rid of a pesky craving, you will feel powerful.

That feel of empowerment will feel better than anything you can imagine right now.

Here’s a one-page list of the 10 steps that you can print and keep nearby to use when a craving hits.

10 Steps to Get Through a Craving Printable