Is Perfectionism Holding You Back?

Is perfectionism keeping you stuck? I’ve been there too; feeling like nothing is good enough to share or act on. But here’s the truth: striving for perfection is often the thing that holds us back from making progress.

The good news? Letting go of perfection might just be the secret to creating better results and living a more fulfilling life. Keep reading to discover how embracing progress over perfection can change everything for you!

One of the things that allows me to write and create so much is that I do not aim for perfection. In fact, if I tried to write the perfect thing, I’d probably never get anything done.

If you are procrastinating in some way, maybe it’s time to consider whether some idea of perfection is getting in your way.

What I’m proposing here is that abandoning perfection and embracing imperfection is actually going to create better outcomes and results for you. And that in the end maybe also feel perfect to you.

Over the years, I have met so many women that don’t do the things that call them, because they just can’t get it perfect enough.

In many parts of life, perfection just isn’t necessary; it is a made-up idea in many areas. Yes, I know there are some things that do require precise accuracy.

And honestly, the result of too much perfection can be a little boring. 

When we aim for perfection, we spend more time editing our actions and trying to get it right. We trade authenticity and our true voice for the idea that there is something better out there and we need to figure it out.

Another example, and this is one that held me back. I’ve joined and PAID for an outdoors club THREE times so far. And fear of not looking perfect on a hike or kayaking kept me from doing any activities the previous two times. I’m on to myself now and this time around I’ve got myself signed up to do some things that sound fun.

I see it with food and eating quite a bit. Women will think it’s impossible to eat perfectly and instead of doing what they can, they will just do the “whatever” eating.

So instead of not-quite-perfect eating, many women just eat whatever since they don’t know the perfect thing to do.

Only letting yourself do things perfectly can also be a fear of failing or looking like a beginner.

Now at the beginning of this email I told you that doing things imperfectly may be the best way to create better outcomes or results.

Here’s why.

When you let go of the idea of “perfect” and you do what you can, when you can, and how you can, you start doing more interesting things and your life and spirit expands in ways you can’t predict.

Instead of aiming for something that doesn’t exist, you get to do the things you want to. Just like perfection isn’t a thing, failure isn’t either.

One concept that completely changed my life was not seeing failure as a thing. Sure not everything works out the way I want, when I want, and how I want.

Instead of failure, I simply see it as information or a step in the process. Honestly our so-called failures are no big deal.

I’d even offer that the willingness to fail and the willingness to be imperfect are the secret to a fulfilling and authentic life.

The Hidden Costs of Perfectionism

You might believe that you have to always be as perfect as possible and this sounds so noble. However, always trying to be perfect has some costs to your mental, emotional, and physical well-being.

We all know these! They haunt us. We try so hard and try to get it all right. But we spend WAY too much time doing the following.

• Overthinking
• Anxiety
• Negative Self-Talk
• Health Problems
• Feeling Stuck
• Not Feeling Satisfied in Life

The Myth of Perfection

When dealing with your perfectionist tendancies you might think you just have high standards for yourself. You expect the absolute best from yourself.

What could be wrong with that?

Well, first of all, there really isn’t such a thing as perfect. It’s just an idea that can hold you back. 

Somehow, we’ve gotten to the place where we often won’t do things if we can’t do them perfectly. Or even if we do them, we don’t want to share with them. 

What could be worse than other people seeing us as imperfect?

While we tell ourselves we just have really high standards, our avoidance of doing something new or sticking with something or getting something over the finish line, are really the shackles of perfectionism.

We think perfect is a worthy goal. It’s not. It tends to create feelings of shame, indecision, and unrealistic expectations. 

That is no fun!

However, by getting comfortable with work or habits that are good enough, we move through life much easier. 

Progress Over Perfection

I’m a big fan of progress!

Progress is something you can see, touch, and feel. It is solid, compared to perfect which is usually some vague idea in the future.

Often, we lack motivation to start something or share it with others because it’s out of our comfort zone to be unsure of ourselves. 

When you start valuing progress over perfection, then you create movement in your life. 

You don’t have to figure out how to eat perfectly. Just do better in small ways consistently and build on that.

When it comes to getting things done whether it’s a writing project or cleaning out a garage, spending an hour a day until you get it done, is way better than avoiding the whole thing until you have a solid eight hours to work on it. 

In fact, when you allow yourself to do what you can, when you can, you can often get more done in smaller periods of time.

I used to agonize over blog posts for weeks. When I started setting small periods of time to write, I got more efficient and quicker. And because I could capture the ideas I had, more ideas would come.

Letting Go of Perfectionism Can Unlock Your Potential

Trying to be perfect can create unnecessary stress for you. The world is waiting for your best work, not your most perfect work.

In work, sticking to what you feel you can do perfectly can also keep you stuck. I notice many women will get known for being really good at things and then others will start wanting them to do that for them.

Then you are doing even more of that “perfect” thing and this leads to exhaustion.

​Just because you do something well; that doesn’t mean you should keep doing more of it exclusively. Let others do their work imperfectly. 

Then you can allow yourself to take on some things you don’t feel like you can do perfectly. That is where your potential is.

How to Let Go of Perfectionism and Start Living

Here are five practical ways to embrace living with imperfection in your own life. 

Develop tolerance for being uncomfortable

At first it will feel uncomfortable not striving for perfection. Here’s the thing. You were never perfect at anything anyway. The idea that you’ve done something perfect is subjective.

And I’ll add this. Something we think is imperfect may actually end up being the most perfect thing later on.

When we try to orchestrate too much perfection, we may be block ourselves from even better things later.

Strive for consistency instead of perfection

This boils down to keep showing up for yourself. I work with many women who are trying to improve their eating.

The idea of a perfect diet keeps so many women stuck with really poor eating habits. Allowing yourself to be imperfect, allows you to approach your eating in a more realistic and kind way.

If you are attempting to learn something new, showing up for yourself for a period of time every day, will allow you to progress, learn, grow, and of course, get better at the thing.

New things are not meant to be perfect

We’re meant to be better than perfect. What I mean by that is that our idea of perfect may actually be a smaller vision of ourselves than we are really capable of.

Yes, you might be better than perfect!

The tension you feel is normal and okay

Practice self-compassion and self-acceptance

In my experience, women are rarely kind to themselves. In our quest to be perfect, women can be so hard on themselves and push and push to be better.

As you let go of your idea of perfect and just do and be, life can become more relaxed. To get there it’s helpful to practice self-compassion and self-acceptance.

Let others be imperfect too

I know it’s scary to think you might let someone down or disappoint someone. However, trying to live up to the idea of being the perfect woman is exhausting and ultimately you are letting yourself down.

Instead, the things in you that need expressing or taken care of are just as important as everyone else’s.

I think sometimes we want perfection for everyone else to so we overdo for other people.

This looks like overdoing for our grown children, partners, or co-workers. Yes, I know you do so many things well, and maybe you even feel like it’s easier to just do it yourself.

But this keeps so many women from taking care of themselves. You do not have to make everything perfect for everyone else.

Moving from Perfectionism to Living Authentically

When you let go of the idea of living perfectly, you can begin to live more authentically.

By letting yourself and other people be imperfect, you open up more breathing space and time in your own life.

With more breathing space and time, you can take care of your health, your spirit, and your mind. Living imperfectly is good for you because instead of spinning your wheels or overdoing you can concentrate on important things like your own physical, mental, and emotional health.

A perfect home, working a bazillion hours, or trying to help everyone else is NOT worth wrecking your own health.

This might feel difficult to not try to be perfect. But there are adventures, fun, rest, real connection, and creativity on the other side.

See you there!

If you’re ready to stop letting perfectionism hold you back and start embracing the beauty of progress, I’d love to help. Take that first step toward creating the life you truly want, imperfectly perfect, just as you are. Click here to schedule your free consultation with me, and let’s explore how you can move forward with more freedom, authenticity, and joy