How to Have a Cool Life

Have you ever wondered how to get a cool life? Are you tired of sitting on the sidelines of life? You see other people doing fun and even amazing things and you want that too!

I’m going to share with you the two deadliest phrases to a cool life. For too many years these were my go-to phrases and they held me back year after year!

Here are a few words that have held me back in the past and occasionally still trip me up. I’m sharing them because I want you to start thinking about how these phrases might possibly hold you back too.

I’m a huge believer in that I’m a grown woman and I can decide what I want to do and when. That being said, when I let go of a little control and experimented with not letting these phrases hold me back—I discovered a whole new, wonderful world. I discovered how to get a cool life!

Here’s the thing. When we say these phrases to ourselves, we usually think we’re protecting ourselves. We’re often convinced that we know best for ourselves. But let me tell you—we don’t always know what’s best for ourselves.

Here’s the reason. We get into ruts. Our thinking gets in ruts. Our brains want us to do what we usually do and what’s easiest. So, it’s much easier to use one of these phrases to keep ourselves from experiencing the momentary discomfort of doing something new.

When I began ignoring these two phrases and doing things anyway, my life began to change and that change was for the better.

For too long, I had settled for a half-life, but I didn’t even realize it! I threw those phrases out the door and I learned how to get a cool life myself.

Now to the two phrases. To be honest, I was really attached to these two phrases.

I can’t.

I don’t want to.

The first one seems obvious. If you say you can’t, then you probably won’t. A lot of times, we use that excuse to not even try things, whether it’s even true or not. I used to believe myself when I’d say that—of course I know when I can’t or can’t do something.

And then I did a few things that I thought that I couldn’t, and I could and did. That blew my mind. Here are the things I did that I didn’t think I could do that I could.

Live in a huge city.

Ride a bike like a real cyclist with my feet clipped in.

Fall while clipped in and get up and ride again.

Hike for ten hours in the mountains.

Sleep outside in a tent and go “you-know-what” in the woods.

Give up pasta and bread.

Lose weight after 50.

Get divorced. (I didn’t want to! But I did.)

Make new friends as an adult in the big city.

Now the tricky one. I don’t want to.

I struggled with this one. If I don’t want to do something—I don’t want to. Why should you ever do something you don’t want to?

And you shouldn’t if it’s unsafe, degrading, or goes against any core values you have.

However, there are times, when it really is okay to do something you don’t want to!

As an introvert, most of my life is about doing things that I don’t want to do! I never want to pick up the phone. I rarely want to go to professional development things. Meeting new people is difficult. In addition to those everyday things, here are a few big “I don’t want to” that were life-changing.

I didn’t want to commute to work but I took a job with a commute and the job was exactly right for me and I discovered ways to make the commute productive.

I didn’t want to get up at 5AM for bike rides but I did, and I discovered amazing parts of the state that I wouldn’t have otherwise.

I didn’t want to date a guy more than ten years older than me, but I did, and it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

I didn’t always want to forgive people, but I did, and it allowed me to let go and move on from painful experiences.

You know what??? Life really does happen outside your comfort zone!

And here is the good news. That life outside your comfort zone is NOT uncomfortable. It’s kind of hard to explain but once you step out, it feels natural, like the place you were always meant to be. It’s just the stepping out that is kind of difficult at first.

Maybe your life already seems pretty good? That’s awesome and trying new things can be the cherry on top.

If your life feels like it sucks—then you definitely need to shake it up a bit.

There are way more things you can do than you ever believed possible. And those things you don’t want to do? So many of them are fear-based. You imagine that the result will be bad or not to your liking.

An open, curious mind and some common sense will let all your experiences be mostly positive. Even when something doesn’t work out or is not an amazing experience—at least you will have had an experience and probably a great story to tell.

Before I met my current boyfriend, I went out with over 30 different guys over two years. I could easily have said “I can’t” and “I don’t want to.” I’ve met many women that have given up after a date or two.

Let me tell you—there are people that miss the stories from those days! It certainly wasn’t always fun, but it had its funny elements.

With the new year right around the corner, think about not automatically saying, “I can’t” and “I don’t want to.” I can’t promise that you’ll love everything you try. But I can almost promise you will love being a person who actually does the things you thought you couldn’t and isn’t afraid to try those things you are sure you won’t like.

So, instead of sitting on the sidelines wondering why other people have really cool lives, get in there and create your own amazing and very cool life!

Love, Sara