How do you know you are doing the right thing?

Making decisions can feel overwhelming, especially when you’re trying to figure out what’s “right.” We often get stuck in the cycle of worrying about how our choices will affect others, or if we’ll have any regrets.

But what if the key to making the right choice lies in trusting yourself and aligning with your own values? In this post, I’ll share how you can break free from the stress of external expectations and confidently know when you’re on the right path.

By tuning into your true self and prioritizing your own needs, you’ll not only make better decisions for yourself but also create more harmony in your relationships and life overall.

Wondering what the right thing is can keep you stuck for years and that’s not good for you or others. But how do you know you are doing the right thing?

One of my favorite things to do as a life coach is help women figure out if they are doing the right thing.

So first of all, what is the right thing?

The right thing is a term I use to describe a result we want when we are trying to decide on a course of action.

What is Doing the Right Thing?

We want the best possible result possible.

The right thing can mean different things. In a religious sense, doing the right thing might be aligned with our faith community.

Or it might align with our family or community guidelines, unspoken or spoken.

What I believe, is that the only person that matters in a decision, at least at the foundation level, is what aligns with your own values.

Here’s where it gets interesting. You probably have a lot of values that you’ve learned or absorbed over the years. Or maybe you are married and you’ve adopted your partners values.

However, you true self, the you that is aware of it all, has its own values. This part of you only wants to best for you.

But over the years, we have often pushed our own truth to the side. 

So, when I say I love helping women discover their own truth, I love seeing them become lighter, freer, and happier than they have been in years.

Women actually look younger when they are living from their own truth and perspective.

Who Knows What is Right for You?

Let’s face it. We spend a lot of our time trying to even decide what the right thing to do is. In fact, many of you will spend so much time debating on what you should do. We do this because we want to be a good person and have no regrets. 

Now, I don’t even pretend to know the right thing for someone else. Knowing what the right thing to do is always something inside of you.

But we get tripped up, because we worry way too much about what other people are going to think or feel about it. The tension comes from worrying about the perspective of other people.

Most of the anxiety you feel when trying to figure out what to do is because you don’t want to cause anyone else any discomfort. When you are trying to decide on a particular course of action, often we will consider everyone else instead of just focusing on ourselves. 

There are three beliefs that are the foundation to figuring out what the right thing to do in any situation.

• Each person is entitled to feel how they feel. It is not your job to try and manage that
• Whatever you decide, if it is aligned with your heart, you can believe it is the right thing
• When you take action that is aligned with your highest self, it can’t go wrong

So, all that time you spend trying to figure out what’s best for everyone else? Let’s spend it on figuring out what is best for you.

This will not make you a selfish unloving person. I believe that acting out of alignment with your true heart will always be in the best interest of all. 

When you spend most of your time trying to manage how everyone else is going to feel, you will feel exhausted from that effort. The bottom line is that when you act from alignment, you naturally make good choices. 

This is probably a different perspective than you’ve learned in the past. But after years of working with women as a life coach, I am convinced that this way of making the right choice is some of the most important work you can do in the long run.

When you learn to quickly tune into yourself and make strong decisions, life is easier and more joyful. It’s joyful because you act out of love, not just for everyone around you but for yourself as well.

That is a beautiful way to live. It’s beautiful because it is so good for you. 

Remember those times when you decided the right thing to do but you also had a sinking feeling because you knew it wasn’t good for YOU. You get that gut feeling that it feels bad.

It takes courage to consider how things affect you. The secret of a happier life is really in making choices that support you when you are deciding on the right course of action. 

How to Know When You Are Doing the right Thing?

Most of us spend a ton of energy trying to figure out the right thing in every individual decision or course of action.

Instead, you can use one process to always know the right thing to do. This is a simple process but the courage comes from learning to trust yourself.

The cool thing though, is that as you practice this, you will become more confident in following your own counsel. 

So here we go–let’s dive in.

Let People Feel What They Feel

Each person is entitled to feel how they feel and it is not your job to try and manage that. Let me explain.

Think about this. When you are trying to decide on the right thing to do, how much time do you spend thinking about the other people involved. We usually worry about what they will think or feel.

And this thinking about what they will think or feel becomes more important than how you will feel.

But this is not your job. Your job is to decide what is aligned with you. This truly isn’t a conscious decision. It is a decision that is already made in your truest self. You just need to tune into it.

This isn’t how most of us were raised though. We were raised to take everyone else into account, even when it is to our detriment. 

Why is this? Most of us have been raised to put everyone else first. Counter-intuitively, this really isn’t a good thing. We bring out our best and the best in others when we act in alignment with what is best for us as well. 

No matter what you do, other people will have thoughts and opinions. I know how bad you want to manage that. But true freedom and happiness comes from letting other people feel what they feel and think what they think.

When you begin paying more attention to how you feel, and begin feel so much better, it becomes easier to let other people manage their own feelings.

Aligned Feeling Creates Aligned Action

Whatever you decide, if it is aligned with your heart, you can believe it is the right thing

The following might be a new concept for you but most of us are used to crowd-sourcing to get answers when we’re struggling with a dilemma. 

First, we’ll go around in our own heads, then we’ll ask other people for their answers or their opinions. 

The thing is, every opinion another person has is based on their own experiences and context, even if they are an expert.

For example, I have decades of training and experience in mental health. Yet, I still don’t tell people what to do. Well, I try not to but I’m a mom so occasionally I do.

But in general, I believe that we must be aware of our own perception and consciousness to make any type of decision.

This does not mean more thinking! I’m sure you’ve got all your pros and cons. 

Our feelings can hold part of the answer, but we have to go a little deeper.

For example, we might think about what we really want to do and feel some fear. This fear can hold us back. But if we really tune into our bodies, we can also feel some excitement. We might feel our whole bodies saying YES.

So, we can know that while the fear is there, there is also your truth which is that the idea of this thing is exciting. Or you might just know that it is right for you. 

When you can only feel fear or confusion, just stay with that, and feel it in your body. When it’s been felt and the feeling has lessened, you’ll have more access to what is really going on.

Aligned Action is Good Action

When you take action that is aligned with your highest self, you are mostly likely to act in a way that is good for everyone.

Remember back to when we were talking about how everyone is going to feel? Well, trying to always keep everyone else from feeling any discomfort isn’t good for you and it’s not good for them.

One it is manipulative. You try to change how you act, so that they will act in a certain way.

Two, it isn’t really respectful to think you know what is best for anyone else or that they can’t handle some discomfort.

Note here. If you are afraid to upset someone else because of their reaction, that may be a completely other discussing which requires a therapist. 

Here’s a little secret, when you feel confident about what is right for you, most people just accept it, even if they grumble a little.

And honestly, if someone doesn’t want you to think, feel, and be your best, why are they in your life anyway?

But in general, in my work with women, as they begin to consider their own feelings in decisions, it is better for everyone.

When you abdicate your decisions to what makes other people feel better, you usually end up making decisions that don’t feel good to you and then you resent the people that influenced you.

It can be a little scary to prioritize your own feelings because who wants to blame themselves if things go wrong.

But there is actually less chance of things going wrong and it really isn’t that bad to take responsibility for your own decisions. 

In fact, I don’t believe in wrong decisions. We might not always like how they turn out but they always teach us something and usually lead to better decisions later. 

How Do You Know When You are Doing the Right Thing?

You know you are doing the right thing when you can feel the yes in your body. When it feels right and aligned with your values.

Doing the right thing for you can cause others some discomfort and this can create some discomfort for you and that’s okay. It’s not a sign you are doing the right thing. 

There is no guarantee of how anything will turn out but I believe when we think and act in ways that are aligned with our values, we get better results overall.

Finally, it feels incredibly great to have autonomy over our own agency. You learn to trust not only yourself but other people too. When you don’t try to manage or control them, they have room to grow too. 

I love helping women grow into their own agency and truth and one of the first ways they do this is by learning to know when they are doing the right thing.