How to Make Time to Take Care of Yourself

Here is some news that is going to be surprising to many of you. Your well-being, mental health, and quality of life depend on the amount of self-care you give yourself. Here is how to make time to take care of yourself.

If you aren’t sure whether this post is for you, try this.

Sit quietly and think about all the things you need to do. Let that go through your head. Not put your attention on your body.

What does it feel like? Use your imagination to scan your body. Do you feel pressure, heaviness, or even squeezing anywhere.

How does your heart area feel? How about your gut. Check in with your neck or chest. Maybe your whole body feels something.

Most women are walking around with a body that feels tense and with some amount of discomfort from the pressure in their lives.

This is NOT a good thing.

For too long, a lot of you put off taking care of yourself until tomorrow and as we all know by now, that tomorrow never comes.

There are always so many other things to do. So, guess who always come last?

YOU!!!

I’ve been working with women as a life coach for over six years now. The thing that surprised me the most about women was how little time they actually spent taking care of themselves.

Now don’t get me wrong. They took care of their appearance, their families, their careers, their co-workers, their communities, and their friends.

However, I soon realized that actually taking time to rest, reflect, daydream, read, or really any kind of true downtime was treated like I was suggesting they go out and rob a bank.

Resting or doing nothing was almost a foreign concept or at least something only a lazy or uncaring women would do.

Why Not Taking Care of Yourself is a Problem

These are some of the common things I see in my practice. What I see are exhausted and/or frustrated women.

Here’s the thing. You all are the hardest, most conscientious people I’ve met. You are doing so much good!

However, that comes with a cost and that cost is coming at your very own expense. This cost comes from your physical, mental, and emotional health.

And it is not going to get better if you don’t address it. Many of my clients have retired from their careers but still find other ways to overwork. 

Learning to take care of yourself is something that has to begin within you. You have to believe that you deserve, absolutely deserve rest and care every single day. 

But let’s look at what is actually going on with many of you.

• Fatigue
• Anxiety levels
• Weight gain
• Trouble sleeping
• Low self-esteem
• Wanting your partner or others to change or take on some of the work
• Feeling like you are in survival mode (you are)

Another completed task or checking something of your to-do list will not fix this. For many of you, there is a belief that if you can just do enough today, you’ll have less to to do tomorrow.

Instead, that darn list just keeps growing and people want more and more from you.

Most of my clients are hardworking, productive women who are also super smart and accomplished. Yet, at some point, often after age 50, they find themselves unable to lose weight, sleep well, or do things that used to bring them joy.

The problem I see the most, is that their current schedule doesn’t include time to truly take care of themselves.

What is Taking Care of Yourself?

So, what do I mean by not having time to take care of yourself? It means that you are intentional and make time for activities that recharge you and allow your body to relax.

Many of you are walking around with so much stress in your body. That stress in your body feels normal, but it is not good for you.

I’ve noticed that there’s usually time to get hair and/or nails done, outside of work and family but not much time for other important things such as:

• Rest
• Exercise
• Meal planning, prep, and cooking
• Eating (eating at desk and in your car don’t count)

To take care of yourself this way takes time, energy, and effort.

Trying to Solve the Wrong Problem

In my practice, many women want help with some form of problem eating. They think the problem is how and what they eat.

So they keep trying to solve that problem. But in truth, if you have some problem eating, it’s usually just a symptom of other things in your life. 

Taking care of yourself means that you don’t over-schedule yourself. You value your time so much, you are very intentional about how you spend it.

Taking care of yourself means you don’t worry about whether people will think you are lazy or selfish. You don’t worry about disappointing or letting down other people. 

Taking care of yourself means that you prioritize doing things that make you feel good and letting go of things that make you feel bad.

I know, I know. I know how bad you want to make everyone happy, well-adjusted, and taken care of. Unless you are caring for actual children or someone who really cannot, let people manage their own lives.

This is going to feel uncomfortable at first but it’s always the best for everyone. Your relationships will be better when you aren’t so resentful.

Because behind your often smiling face is someone who is resentful and frustrated. And only you can change this. 

Not taking time for yourself in so-called nonproductive ways should be a part of your DAILY routine. You read that right. Every single day, you should be unproductive on purpose.

Friends, I know you think you should be productive every waking moment, but that is just not true. That is some old programming that just isn’t working anymore.

We think many of our problems are because of aging and such, but too often I see many problems that are created because we have gone decades without really resting or being intentional about how we use our energy.

Resting and other forms of self-care are not a luxury; they are a necessity.

Ways to Make Time to Take Care of Yourself

Healthy Work-Life Balance

Jobs are important and I believe in doing a good job. However, many of you are doing your job plus a lot of extra.

After years with the same company, you might be working more hours than you want believing you have to.

How do I immediately know when someone is overworking? One, you aren’t taking time to eat lunch away from your desk. Two, you look tired. Three you tell me you don’t have time to meal plan or cook. Four, you don’t have time for activities you used to enjoy. You don’t have time to exercise.

Achieving a healthier work-life balance begins with you taking charge of your schedule.

Block off time to eat and take a break every day. Put it on your schedule and do it, even if you don’t think you have time. Prioritize this time. Do this even if you work at home. Create time for a break and keep to that.

Have a time of day that you are done. Close the computer at a certain time. Make working after that time an exception, not the rule. I know you think doing a little more will help tomorrow. That’s the kind of thinking that keeps you overworking.

Focus on your essential job and don’t take on other people’s work.

This is a process!

You will end up doing an even better job when you focus on you creating a schedule that allows you to do your most focused work.

But really, start with taking time to eat.

If you are working so hard it’s affecting your health, it’s important to address this. When you die, get sick or retire, they are just going to replace you.

If you don’t value your health and wellbeing; no one else will either.

Relaxation

You need rest and relaxation.

Working until you can’t move and collapse is NOT resting! You can rest before you absolutely become exhausted.

Now here’s the fun part. Rest looks different for everyone. For me, it’s a good book on the couch.

For you, it might be:

• Walking or playing with your dog
• Working in your yard or garden
• Taking a leisurely walk
• Going to a workout or yoga class
• Sitting outside
• Working on a craft or hobby

This resting time is good for you. It relaxes your body and mind. You can actually feel your body relax.

Make relaxing a part of your daily life. You will find yourself looking forward to it. It’s not wasted time—it’s essential time.

On your self-care journey, routine rest is a healthy thing.

Set boundaries

This means you know how to say no, let people down, and at times disappoint other people.

Look, you are tired and feeling like crap because you believe that if someone asks you to do things; you need to do that.

You don’t.

The reason you keep doing more than you want is because you don’t want to feel the discomfort of feeling like you are letting someone down.

Seriously, so many of you will take on hours of work or obligation because you can’t stand the thought of feeling like you are letting someone down.

Feeling uncomfortable might last a couple of minutes. Just feel uncomfortable and say no.

What no one tells you is that there is so much relief in being able to say no and be intentional about your own time.

Others may be disappointed. But isn’t that really a them thing?

This isn’t just about a job if you have one. A lot of you have husbands, family, and friends that expect too much of you.

I know, you’ve taught them and let this get out of hand over the years. But it really is best for everyone when you decide what to take on based on your own desires and energy.

Creating the Mindset to Take Care of Yourself

The main thing getting in the way of you taking care of yourself is you very own belief system and mindset.

Every woman I’ve worked with has some kind of belief system that says they need to do their best all the time and for everyone else.

This belief system is so ingrained and strong, it’s really difficult to make changes, even if you really need to rest.

By this time, many of you are dealing with extra weight and health issues. Even that isn’t enough to create change.

So, the beliefs that will help you are this: You deserve to have time to take care of yourself. You deserve rest. Also, other people are capable and able and you don’t have to fix, manage, or control everything.

If you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or like you’ve hit a wall, it’s time to stop working harder at the wrong things. The truth is you don’t have to change everything to make a difference in your life. By focusing on what truly matters and believing that you can make changes, no matter your age or situation, you open the door to new possibilities.

I help women just like you shift the way they think about themselves, their habits, and their future. It’s not about big, overwhelming changes. It’s about taking small steps that lead to real growth and making intentional choices that move you toward the life you want.

The future is wide open. You have the power to create it; let’s get started together