How to Be an Amazing Grandmother on a Budget

If you’ve ever wondered how to be an amazing grandmother on a budget, I’m going to share with you the most important things you can give your grandchildren.

How much you can spend on grandchildren has no bearing on how much they will love you. You can absolutely be an amazing grandmother and create an unforgettable bond on a budget!

I wrote my first post about being an awesome grandmother eight years ago when my granddaughter was two. Being a grandmother was a revelation for me as I experienced this new kind of love.

When I first became a grandmother, I did not have a lot of extra income and it was tempting to be sad when I didn’t have enough money buy expensive things for my grandchildren.

However, I discovered that grandchildren want the same thing all of us want. Love, attention, interest, and time. They want to be around people that get them and like them as people.

Since then I’ve written several more posts that have been widely read. As I was thinking about my ten years as a grandmother, I realized that I had also been an amazing grandmother on a budget.

While there is nothing wrong with spending a lot of money on grandkids, I just didn’t have the means to buy lots of presents or expensive experiences. In fact, I rarely spend money on my grandkids to this day.

And guess what?

They still adore me.

In fact, I now believe it’s partly because they do not associate me in anyway with getting things. To them, I’m the person that will sit on the floor with them or lay on the couch chit-chatting for as long as they want.

If you’ve ever been concerned that you don’t have enough money to be a awesome grandmother, this is your reminder that money doesn’t make a difference to how children feel about you.

While enough money is a necessity in life, you don’t have to do excessive or extravagant gift giving to create a special bond with your grandchildren.

Here’s my list of ways to be an amazing grandmother on a budget. After I wrote the headings, I realized that it’s about half developing the relationship and half developing yourself.

• Spend Quality Time With Grandchildren
• How to Show Interest
• Accept Grandchildren as Themselves
• Be Yourself
• Be a Person That They Like as Well as Love

To be an amazing To be an amazing grandparent, you have to be amazing.

How to Create Quality Time with Your Grandchildren

I do understand that all families are different and we have different levels of access to our grandchildren.

In my situation, I visit my daughter and her family about once a week and spend the afternoon and evening with them.

It’s an hour each way, so we usually just hang out at the house. Sometimes they come visit me. My daughter doesn’t ask for much babysitting, but she and her husband appreciate the time that I spend with the kids so they can get some things done around the house.

Our visits usually start with the kids showing me things they’ve done, created, or gotten since I was last there. The last time I visited they showed me animated videos they had made on their tablet. 

One time it was a TV show they had made complete with commercials. For a while they were both writing and illustrating comic books.

So the first part of creating quality time, is showing genuine interest in what they are doing or making. I love meeting any new friends (their new stuffed animals) and learning their names.

Beyond that, we find things to do together. Because they do receive lots of gifts from other grandparents and aunts and uncles, I’m the one that ends up reading the instructions and teaching them the game or how to do the craft.

What Is Quality Time?

I think of quality time as when we spend time with each other and getting to know each other better.

In reading definitions of quality time, most refer to “undivided attention.” In my experience that isn’t feasible with kids and their attention is more fluid.

That means we have periods where we are focused on each other but there are also times when their attention moves or mine does.

But I’m there, they are there, and it’s all good.

Here are my favorite ways of creating quality time.

Board or video games

Games are always a fun way to spend time together because they usually allow plenty of time for talking.

Plus there are the fun aspects of competing with each other, joking, and laughing.

Crafts

This is the area where I shine the most! The kids have a large selection of craft materials and we all love to make things.

They usually get craft kits for Christmas and their birthdays and I’m usually the one that helps them put their crafts together.

Pretend play

Some of my grandchildren are younger and enjoy playing with Barbies, Legos, and stuffed animals.

You might think I get in there and pretend, but I don’t. I’m upfront with the kids when I tell them that I’m just not as good at pretending as they are.

However, I will sit there and either build things or create amazing outfits for the dolls.

I thoroughly enjoy just being with them and talking about whatever comes up.

Walks

One of my favorite things to do is to take walks with the grandchildren. It helps them get some activity and there are usually interesting things to see and chat about.

Here in Texas, wildflowers grow all over in the spring. My youngest granddaughter loves wildflower hunts. (Where it’s okay to pick them)

We don’t aim for speed—we aim for fun! So it’s fine to stop and look at things or climb things or rest. Walks that lead to a local park is also great.

There is no one way to have quality time! In a nutshell, it’s finding things you all enjoy. If you are looking for a giant list of quality time activities, I’ve got you covered. Pop over to my post Unforgettable Activities to do With Your Grandchildren.

How to How to Show Interest in Your Grandchildren

Your grandchildren are people no matter what their age is. Showing interest means active listening and at times asking questions.

This doesn’t mean interrogating them or being intrusive. It’s a fine line at times.

My grandchildren went through a period of time where they created comic books. Very long, involved, multi-character comic books.

I couldn’t keep up with it all!

This was probably the closest I’ve come to “faking it” with them. But I could admire their creativity, their enthusiasm, and how much they enjoyed writing and illustrating.

In addition, I go to dance competitions, soccer games, bowling matches, or whatever comes up when I can.

Accept Grandchildren as Themselves

This is probably easier when they are little and so darned cute. As they get older, you might struggle and I’ve addressed this in how to stay close to teenage grandchildren.

But it really does start when they are young.

You may imagine your little grandchild being a certain way and they won’t necessarily be that way.

One example is actually my own child. From the time she was about two, she had an opinion about her clothes and what she wanted to wear.

That continued for her entire childhood and teenage years. If I had decided to fight her on it, we would have fought her entire life.

However, I accepted her as she was and we have a great relationship.

I’ve noticed that my daughter also allows her daughters to dress how they want.

Sure the girls will put on complementary outfits or dresses for special occasions or outings. But in general they have autonomy over how they dress.

Children have their own interests and passions. They were not born to be extensions of anyone. They also weren’t born to fit into a mold that someone else created.

My grandchildren know that I see them as autonomous humans who are worthy just as they are. They don’t have to dress a certain way, wear their hair a certain way, or like the things I like.

And you know what? They happen to be the most pleasant, polite, well-adjusted people I know. Nope letting children be themselves does not create brats.

Be Yourself

I truly believe that what makes you an amazing grandparent is being yourself, not some version that you think a grandmother should be.

The best gifts are you showing up with your own hobbies, likes, enthusiasm, and weirdness.

Yes, weirdness too. My grandchildren know and respect my weird ways.

One example is when we are in the car and we listen to MY music. My grandchildren tease me about the sappy love songs I like. Or the falling out of love songs.

They know I don’t like to drink after other people, so if they want me to taste their drink, they offer it to me first.

I often observe that women become peripheral in other’s lives when they get older. What I mean by that is that we base our lives on other’s.

Instead of centering our lives on ourselves, we center it on partners, children, and grandchildren.

The problem with that is that you become a shadow of yourself. My clients often find me when they are overweight, exhausted, and frustrated with life.

They are doing all the right things but still feel like something is missing. That missing something is you!

Many of you think your best years are behind you and I totally disagree. I love believing that my best time of life is NOW and whatever comes after today.

Yes, I know you’ve been taught to not be selfish, lazy, or think to much of yourself.

If you are looking in the mirror and are HAPPY with what you see, then I love that for you. In my experience most women put taking care of themselves last.

And what is that self-care? It’s time for rest, exercise, planning and eating good food. It’s time for putting up your feet and nourishing your mind through reading, meditating, or just daydreaming.

When you become the best you, you become authentic. What people see is what they get, in the loveliest way. Grandkids love REAL people.

And real people have their own lives that don’t revolve around other people.

That all being said, I also acknowledge that I’m not the boss of my daughter’s family and I don’t expect them to cater to my every need.

I follow the house and family rules even when I don’t totally agree.

Be a Person That They Like as Well as Love

Children are taught to love their grandparents. As much as I love being loved, I love that my grandchildren like me. They want to spend time with me.

I don’t see them as lesser because they are young and I treat them as if what they like is just as important as what anyone likes.

My grandchildren are people I like as well as love and they can feel that.

While I don’t center my life around my children or grandkids, I do make spending time with them a priority. It’s important to make time for the people you love.

My daughter and I plan together for my time with the kiddos so that it works for all of us. Fortunately that usually works out to one afternoon/evening a week.

I realize that all families are different and all people are different. I have two other children and that would be too much for them, so we see each other less.

But I know that whenever I let them know I want some time with them, they enthusiastically make some time.

This is why it’s important to have your own life. Even with the best of intentions, modern families are busy, often with both parents working and lots of activities for the children.

Handling Gift-giving, Christmas and other holidays, and Birthdays

Gift giving is stressful for me. Some people love shopping and picking out gifts but I’m not one of them.

So, over the years, I have come up with ways to change what gift-giving means in our family.

My grandchildren have always had more toys than they can ever get around to playing with. I know this because I am with them so much and I began seeing that most gifts that I or other people gave them did not get used.

We have a big family and they are the only little kids so it meant a lot of presents at holidays and birthdays.

About eight years ago, my younger daughter and I stopped buying toys and things for the kids and instead bought tickets to shows.

We spent about the same money but we created a memorable experience instead of just giving them something that would eventually be thrown away or donated elsewhere.

Then my daughter-in-law got involved. By then, the non-gift experiences were so much fun they expanded. Even the kid’s mom comes along now.

We do experiences instead of all gifts now.

This summer we did a girl’s night out on town for the grandchildren, their aunts, grandmother, and their mom. All the grandchildren have their birthdays within a two-month time period.

We looked for deals and ended up getting a hotel for the evening with a pool and did a nice dinner out.

We all loved it!

I think this works because while it doesn’t technically save money, I feel like it is money well spent instead of money wasted.

Another thing we do at the holidays is create inexpensive keepsakes or bake together.

Creating an Amazing Bond

I value the bond I have with my grandchildren and I love sharing ideas. Not for a second do I think I know all the best ways to be a grandparent.

However, I am an enthusiastic one and my goal is to provide inspiration rather than an exact “how to” guide.

The most fun you’ll have is through the relationship with your grandchildren, not just giving them things or buying them things.

You can be an amazing grandmother on a budget.

Even if you aren’t on a budget, I really encourage you to explore ways to have a relationship through non-monetary ways.

The best gifts come from your heart!