11 Ways to Love Yourself

Here are 11 fun ways to love yourself more. Get the exact love you need from the person who knows you the best. You!

Two things get in the way of feeling love for ourselves:

We don’t believe we deserve it

We think it must come from other people first

However, neither one of those things are true. You deserve to love yourself and you don’t have to wait for anyone else to love your first.

It’s an amazing feeling to feel loved. We often think that this needs to come from other people. It can and of course it does at times. But other people can be unreliable and not always meet our needs.

You don’t need permission from anyone to feel loved. Loving yourself is a habit you can begin building right away. It’s good for your mental health and it will help you release a lot of negativity. 

The best kind of love you will ever experience, is when you discover how to love yourself more. Loving oneself isn’t selfish—when you love yourself first, you have more love to give everyone else!

What If I Don’t Feel Like I Deserve to Be Loved?

My friend, the first thing I want you to know is that this is so common among women. We feel like we have to earn love.

Your negative self-talk probably has hundreds of reasons why you don’t deserve to be loved. Our lack of self love shows itself in so many ways over our lifetime. 

We tend to sacrifice our well being and self-respect because we are so busy trying to earn love from other people.

This leads to judgment about ourself and to an ever unending search for perfection.

Often we feel an underlying sense of shame about our flaws that negatively impacts our self-worth. But I want to assure you, even if you don’t believe it yet. You are worthy of love!

This is a list of actions you can take to practice self-care. They are behaviors that are fun, simple, and ideally will provide encouragement to keep on going.

How Do I Fall in Love with Myself?

Most women I talk to, do not truly practice self-love. We tend to put ourselves last.

This is something I’ve been working on. I truly believe that by practicing self-love with myself, I have more to give others, including family, friends, and clients. If I don’t feel loved—it’s hard to create it with others.

Depending on others to show you love is an iffy way to get love. I know people love me. But how people show love depends on how they are feeling at any given time.

Sometimes, I need some lovin and there’s no one around to provide it.

That’s why I decided that I was going to learn to fall in love with myself and provide loving actions specifically tailored to what made me feel loved.

This is my list. Use some of my ideas to get started and make up some of your own. Remember, this is about you feeling loved by you!

Buy Flowers for Yourself

I wrote this post long before the famous Miley Cyrus song came out. This is something I still do weekly for myself.

40 years later, I still remember the first flowers I ever received from a man. I was at the restaurant where I worked and a big bouquet of pink roses was delivered to me. It was a magical moment.

I ended up marrying that guy!

Flowers have power! To me, they symbolize love when I am given them.

I’ve been divorced nine years now and flowers are a weekly must for me.

In the absence of a lover, loving oneself, for me, definitely needs to include flowers.

I always default to this self-love action first because it is so easy.

I grocery shop every week and all stores carry flowers. There is always something on sale or at a great price. Some stores even have flowers on clearance but that are still perfectly beautiful and will last a week or two.

The other great thing about buying yourself flowers, is that they last at least a week or two. Put them in a visible place and you will have a feeling of self-love every time you pass them!

Make a LOVE Playlist

This is another easy way to feel loved. I have a playlist on Apple Music that I simply call Love. I load it up with loving songs that make me feel loved.

The Shazam app helps with that. When I hear a great song somewhere, I capture it and add it to my list.

I play it when I walk, cook, or clean house.

Music is powerful. Music about love can make you feel loved. Music captures so much about our human experience and it makes sense that so much music is dedicated to love. 

Take a Dance or Yoga Class

Any kind of body movement is great for self-love. I especially love dance or yoga because there is a beauty to the movements that just feels loving.

These types of workouts usually have beautiful music that adds to the self-love.

Another option is Ellen Barrett, Mindful Movement. I pay a small monthly fee for her workouts. They are different lengths from 15 minutes to 45 minutes and are based on ballet, yoga, and Pilates.

I do these workouts often because they get all the kinks out of my body and can be done barefoot. There’s no jumping, so I don’t even need a sports bra.

I just love them! And I always feel like I am doing something loving for myself by doing them. Exercise doesn’t have to be painful to be helpful, I promise. 

Spend Time in Nature or Outside

Connecting with nature is another way to show yourself how much you love yourself!

The easiest way it to simply get outside and take a walk once or twice a week. On weekends if you have more time got to a city or state park and really get into nature.

Go out at night and look at the stars or moon.

Have lunch outside on a pretty day.

Plant an herb garden or some flowers.

Go to a garden nursery and browse the plants.

Practice Gratitude Daily

One of the most important actions you can take, is to practice gratitude often. I write lists, I think of things to appreciate as I walk or as I fall asleep. 

As you find ways to appreciate the things and people in your life, it helps you appreciate and love yourself!

I recently converted my Happiness Jar to a Love Note Jar. I love the printed word and I have letters from friends and family going back to my childhood.

Since I love reading notes, that indicate that the person loves me, I began writing myself notes daily.

This helps!

First, I have to actually think of nice things to say to myself. And then I have to put it in writing. This is another way to train your brain to look for things to love about you.

Create a Morning or Evening Place to Relax

Loving oneself requires special moments. I especially enjoy my morning time.

Even with a job, I would make sure and get up early enough that I could have that first hour alone. If you have young children, it might be time in the evening.

I have created a special place next to my bed. Since I love to sip coffee while writing, I have a coffee cup warmer. I put my hot cup of coffee on it and it keeps it just the right temperature.

I have pillows that are comfortable. I keep my favorite pens and lip balm nearby as well.

It’s just as easy to set up a place in your living room or another place with a comfy chair or sofa.

Your special place can be used for reading, writing in your journal, or whatever it is you like to do. Keep your favorite spiritual books, journals, pens, lip balm, hand cream, cozy blanket, or candles nearby.

Plan Your Own Celebrations to Celebrate You

One year on my birthday, I bought myself something that I had been waiting for years for a man to buy me—diamond earrings.

I waited for a man to do it because I saw other women getting this gift from their man.

Finally, I decided that I would love myself enough to go get exactly what I wanted. It was a lovely experience and I wear those earrings almost every single day.

My Christmas gift to myself will not be as extravagant, but I am definitely going to do something special for myself every birthday and Christmas from now on.

This isn’t to say that I don’t enjoy getting gifts from other people. I do!

However, it is an amazing feeling to get the exact gift that you want on your special day.

This is not a runner up to getting something from another person.

This is a true act of self-love and telling yourself that you are absolutely worthy of getting exactly what you want.

I planned my own 60th birthday celebration too. I invited the people I wanted to be there and had them all bring food. It was so much fun!

Plan Dates or Trips for Yourself

When I first wrote this I hadn’t mastered going solo for travel or even eating alone. However, I have done a few hiking trips on my own and I can easily go out for a meal alone.

One great way to start traveling alone is to go on retreats. I’ve done this two times and I met people who became friends and I had a great experience. Next month I’m doing another retreat, this time out of the country.

If you aren’t ready to go on dates by yourself, invite a friend.

This month, I am traveling with a girlfriend, walking with another friend, and I got invited to high tea by a friend. In December, I’ll be taking another friend with me to a concert (the tickets were a gift).

I initiated some of these “dates” and others were invitations to me.

It might sound like I have a bunch of friends just sitting around waiting to do things with me. I don’t.

For the most part, I only see some of these people every year or so. Others I may only see every few months.

However, I do keep in touch by text, phone, and Facebook.

So, if I have an idea about something I think a friend or family member, would enjoy as much as me, I invite them!

Put Together a Couple of Outfits That Make You Feel Fabulous

Dress beautifully for yourself.

Do this, no matter what your size is. Looking fabulous is not based on your size. Look on Instagram, Pinterest, and TikTok for ideas.

I love seeing women of all shapes and ages, wearing clothes that look beautiful on them.

If you aren’t sure how to do this, check out this post, How to Look Amazing all the Time.

At the very least, have a great pair of jeans and a top that looks great with them. Adding a jacket or sweater can really make an outfit look put together.

I don’t wear a lot of jewelry but I love a pretty watch and nice earrings.

Finish it up with some comfy but cute shoes.

Once you get the hang of it, all your outfits can make you feel great. This can be done on a budget as well. That’s how I do it.

Buy Yourself Great Underwear

Find that perfect bra and panties, that fit your shape and size. Then buy a week’s worth.

This is a surprisingly effective way to love yourself more. Underwear is something we all have to have. It doesn’t have to be sexy or even lacy. Though here’s a hint. The wide stretchy lacy waistbands are amazing.

The important thing is that they are nice as in they look like new and that they fit perfectly.

I know, that’s not the easiest thing to find—but so worth it!

Throw out all the ratty, old, and ill-fitting items. This is one of my favorite tips because I feel so good when I am wearing pretty nice fitting things.

Pamper Yourself

Find skin and body care products that are non-toxic and smell great. Spend time, taking care of your nails, your face, and hair.

I have always gone out of my way to find great skincare and hair products. I love products that are non-toxic and smell yummy.

It feels very loving to treat myself this way.

In the past couple of years I started buying myself perfume and wear it daily. I love smelling good just for my own pleasure.

Practice Self-Care to Love Yourself 

Loving yourself takes time, money, and practice.

If you are resistant to spending time and money on yourself, start with the free stuff. This is an investment in yourself.

None of it has to be done all the time but try to build self-loving actions into each of your days.

Building love and connection into your life is not just good for how you feel; it’s good for your health!

You are worth it!