How to Be a Hot Grandma

Becoming a grandma doesn’t mean the end of being hot. No matter what your age or grandma status is, you can still be a hot mama! Here’s how to be a hot grandma too.

Being a grandmother is definitely cool these days—as far as I can tell, many of my friends are super excited by the news if my Facebook feed is any indication of this.  However, I think there is a part of us that feels that being a grandma puts us decidedly in the old and not-so-hot group.

I’m not saying that you have to be hot if you are a grandmother. But if you want to be, here is my guide on how to be a Hot Grandma. And by hot, all I really mean is that you feel attractive and great in your own body. You might even feel playful and sexy!

Being a hot grandma means you have an identity that is separate from being a grandmother and that you rock it in any way that you want.

The Back Story of How to be a Hot Grandma

I became a divorced woman and a grandmother within a month of each other.

While there are lots of caricatures of hot divorcees, in my experience you feel anything but hot at that time!  I certainly didn’t. I felt rejected, ugly, and hopeless.

Then a month later, my first grandchild was born!

Becoming a grandparent was all I could have hoped for and I’ve relished it ever since! Since the day my first granddaughter was born, I’ve tried to spend time with my granddaughters at least once a week.

Being able to pour love into that little person was good for me and helped pull me out of my despair.

However, as much as I love being a grandmother and hanging out with my granddaughters, I couldn’t hang around my daughter’s house 24/7. Eventually I wanted to date, and I had to work on learning to feel attractive.

Check out How to Feel Absolutely Beautiful. I’ve never felt pretty much less beautiful, so I really did have to work at it.

Even if you aren’t dating, you can still feel hot. It feels good!

Now let me assure you that hot is relative term. I’m “hot’ compared to when I was not feeling “hot.” These days, I feel good about myself and that makes me feel attractive. I don’t measure it against other women, just to how I used to feel about myself and my looks.

When I first began calling myself a grandmother, I felt a little self-conscious about it. I was afraid that by saying the words I would morph into my version of what I thought a grandmother would look like. I remember my own grandmothers looking old.

Now, a couple of years later, I find myself much more comfortable claiming my Grammy role. My relationships with each of my granddaughters are truly some of the richest relationships of my life. I am grateful every day for this.

That being said, I also love seeing people’s expression when I do tell them I’m a grandmother. People are often surprised that I have grandchildren. Being a hot grandma can be fun.

And if you like me, have never considered yourself “hot,” well, maybe this is your time!

What Does it Mean to Be a Hot Grandma?

To me, being hot means being comfortable in your own skin. You look beautiful because you feel beautiful. No one else but you gets to decide this.

That being said, there are superficial things that help us feel hot. Our hair, our bodies, our clothes. It’s not a bad thing to care about your appearance. The more comfortable I’ve become with mine the more I am able to be comfortable with other people.

Appearance matters. In the past few years I’ve gotten really comfortable with my appearance in a way that I have never been. I feel better about how I look now than I did as a teenager or in my twenties. I don’t try to compete with my younger self or even try to recreate my younger self. I am trying to work with what I have now in my fifties.

Being hot is also about your attitude, how you feel about yourself and others, and your overall vibe. We all know that feeling hot is more than just how we look. However, that’s where I’m going to start. But stick with me because there’s way more than just your hair and clothes to feeling hot!

Hair

When I was in my thirties I worked with a couple of professional older women. Both of them colored their hair and I remember thinking to myself that I would do the same thing when I needed to because they both look vibrant and younger than their years.

It was my hairdresser who decided when I needed to freshen up my look. While my hair hadn’t gone gray, it had gotten dull and he pushed me for a couple of years to do something. When I finally did, I realized he was right.

My hair color looks really natural because it is my original natural color. I never look at it and think “What the heck???”

I look at it and think, “Wow, that’s really pretty!”

I recently spent a week with my 94-year old future mother-in-law. She still colors her hair and it looks really attractive. She’s found that perfect color that looks natural on her. Yes, hair color can look totally natural.

Now in my fifties, I also wear my hair longer and I’ve finally learned to blow dry it out. It’s my favorite feature these days and definitely helps me feel hot. Yes, it is work and effort, but it’s also makes me feel gorgeous.

All that said, I saw a woman the other day that was rocking short gray hair. It was hot!

Clothes

There is no size that fits all. In general, though, you need to wear clothes that fit, are flattering to whatever shape you are, and look attractive.

You don’t have to look sexy or provocative. You don’t even have to spend a ton. I have a friend my age who shops thrift stores exclusively and she dresses better than anyone I know.

When I was in my thirties and forties, I did not do this. Ask any of my kids about my “mom shorts.” I made many odd fashion choices over the years.

Other clothing choices that can age you are clunky shoes (I know, they are comfortable!), baggy shirts or pants, tennis shoes with pants or capris.

To learn what looks good on you, you are going to have to go out and try things on. Go out once a month and just try different things on. Learn your flattering looks.

Buy pants that fit. No matter what your size, they need to fit your waist and your body below. Modern fabrics are great for this. No baggy legs!

Give up on khakis. These don’t look good on anyone.

Find a couple of styles of tops that work for you. Again, choose things that fit! I don’t care what your size is.

Add one more layer. I love cardigans, wraps, or jackets. They take any outfit from boring to pretty. I live in hotter-than-heck Texas and I still always have an extra layer with me.

Another way to dress hot is to wear dresses. I went for 20+ years without wearing a dress. When I finally added them back to my wardrobe, I realized what I had been missing. Cute dresses are the best! Slip one of your favorites over your head and you get an instant hot boost. J I especially love dresses in the cold season when I can wear tights and boots with them. Boots = extra hot points.

With just hair and clothes, you can feel hot fast! Hair and clothing are two things really help me feel beautiful. When I first started dating and attempting to feel hot, that’s where I started, and it really helped.

But they are just surface things. As I said, they can help you feel good about yourself, but they aren’t all there is to being a hot grandma.

Do You

I spent many years trying to not do me and do what I thought other people wanted. In the end, that didn’t work so well. What is hot, is being yourself. I’ve always liked being around people that were comfortable in their own skin, so I’m not sure why I didn’t think it was okay for me to do the same.

What we women often do is smile and act like everything is okay even when it’s not. We wear what we think is appropriate and do activities we think are appropriate.

Begin small. One of the ways that I did me, was to begin blogging. I didn’t know it at the time, but it would become the single best thing I did for myself. It helped me discover who ME was.

Maybe it was age or menopause, but I began just being me around people. I said what I actually thought rather than what I thought people wanted to hear.

Not everyone will like it, but really, most will be fine with it. Just because you are being you doesn’t mean you lose the basic qualities of civility and kindness.

So, for the record, those quirks that you think make people think you are weird? Those are the things that make you unique and interesting—when you own them, people think you are cool. And being cool is pretty much the same as hot.

Raise Your Energy

When I say energy, I don’t mean energy relative to activity.  I mean that intangible part of you that is either energetic or not. It’s how you feel and the feelings you are projecting.

You can feel it in people. Sometimes you are around someone and their energy is so low it starts pulling you down. Sometimes you are around a positive person and you feel your energy go up just being around them.

This kind of energy runs along a continuum from negative to positive. You can be tired or even a little low and still have and project positive energy. You can be crazy active and still project negative energy.

My scale of energy is not an activity-based kind, it’s a feeling type kind.

On the bottom are feelings like hatred, anger, and rage. We all have those feelings at times, but that doesn’t mean we want to hang out on the bottom of the scale!

On the top are feelings like love and joy. And as much as I’d like to hang out there all the time, I haven’t figured that out yet.

In between are things like disappointed, frustrated, hopeful, optimistic.

What I have figured out, is that you CAN move up the scale from wherever you are. And by moving up the feeling scale, you can put out better energy. Projecting positive energy is attractive energy.

And you don’t have to move up from despair to joy to feel better. Feeling anger feels better than hopeless. Feeling frustrated is better than anger. There are no bad feelings. But operating mostly in the top half of the scale is an attractive type of energy.

As much as I want you to look your best, it’s equally as important to feel good, through and through. Bad energy is the opposite of hot. Walking around with good vibes and energy feels good!

I believe everyone has a right to their feelings and sometimes we just need to feel bad. Yet, I’ve seen people get so stuck in the bad feelings that it takes over their life. I’ve written many times on forgiveness because whatever negative feelings we hang onto (no matter how justified!) end up hurting us.

You can’t hate your way to getting back at anyone else.

If you need to take positive action, take it. Do what you need to do. But do not settle for living at the bottom of the energy scale! 

Here are some posts to help you feel better fast.

How to Feel Better Fast

How to Forgive Somewhen When You Don’t Feel Like It

Take Care of Your Physical Self

Eat real food and move your body! I don’t think you have to be thin to be hot, but I do think you need to feel great in the body you have.

I saved this for last—eating real food and moving your body means something different to pretty much everyone.

For me, it means eating meat, eggs, healthy fats (lots of them!), vegetables, fruit, a little dairy, nuts, and a few not-so-good choices. Moving means walking, stretching, and some strength training. Plus a few fun activities every week or so.

If I could give you one suggestion, food-wise to feel hot, eat fat. Healthy fats. Eat avocado, coconut oil, heavy cream, butter, olive oil, and nuts.

Not what you were expecting? I’m serious. Good fats make you feel healthy and sexy and they are great for your skin.

My caveat? You have to ditch the processed carbs, breads, pastas, cereals, cookies, cake, crackers, and all that kind of food for the most part.

That that stuff is making you feel like crap and stealing your looks.

How to be a Hot Grandma

Do my little girls care if I am hot or not? Not a bit! And that’s the way it should be. They do care that I love them, can play with them, and spend time with them. They love having an awesome and unforgettable grandmother.

Recently at Disneyland, I ran around in a cap and sensible shoes and I had a blast. Being hot isn’t a 24/7 job. But all the things that make me hot also gave me the energy to run around Disneyland, ride the rides, and help the girls find all the princesses with enthusiasm and joy.

Translation. Being hot makes all parts of your life better.

Obviously, I love being a grandmother hot or not. Want to learn how to be an Awesome Grandparent? Or an Unforgettable Grandparent. Check out these posts.

How to Be an Awesome Grandparent

How to Be an Unforgettable Grandparent

Keep showing up my friends!

Love, Sara