5 Strategies to silence your inner critic

You may have an inner critic that just never shuts up! Here are 5 strategies to silence your inner critic and create peace and calm instead.

These five steps are based on my work with midlife women who have successfully learned to silence many of their negative thoughts with kindness and compassion towards themselves.

Your inner critic wants what is best for you but she decided, often during your childhood that talking mean to you would make you safe. This is so normal that we don’t even realize it happening.

I like to think of our inner critics as simply one part of ourselves that are simply trying to make our lives better in some way.

Their negativity may have worked as motivation at one time, but at this point in your life, this way of protecting you is not helping and it’s making you feel miserable.

Not only that, but by having your inner critic running your emotions, you may feel anxiety, shame, depression, and self-doubt. 

As a professional life coach for women, I’m going to help you understand the role of your inner critic, so that you can understand her better, and also experience life beyond her limited scope.

The Benefits of Quieting Your Inner Critic

The impact of too much critical thought affects your emotional, mental, and physical well-being. It creates distress and sometimes even self-loathing.

This critical inner voice seems to have all the answers but the problem is, she is mostly wrong. I want to offer you a new perspective. 

You are worthy right now. This isn’t just a platitude. You are. You have the accomplishments and resilience to back this up. Just by being, you are worthy of having a kinder more compassionate voice in your head.

There are so many benefits to having a calm and peaceful mind that are mental, physical, and emotional. While you’ll feel better, it’s also good for your body!

Number one, by quieting your inner negative talk, you will feel better. Do not underestimate the power of feeling better. 

Number two. You will finally be able to find self-love and self-acceptance. This is where all your power is. Not in the version you think you should be but in your actual authentic self. 

Instead of hating yourself, you get a chance to celebrate and be yourself. This is where true success and abundance comes from.

Number three, as you silence that critical voice, you grow your own self-confidence, create more calm and peace, and develop a self-compassion that may seem impossible right now.

Finally, as human beings, we are meant to grow and evolve. Your inner monologue tries to keep you safe by keeping you stuck. Let’s get y

Create self-awareness of your inner critic

Get to know your inner critic and her negative thoughts

Learn what your inner critic really wants for you

Lean into the lesson with compassion

Align with your highest self

So let’s dive in and create some peace and calm in your mind!

Create Self-awareness of Your Inner critic

First of all, you need to become aware that you have an inner critic, as opposed to this is just who you are.

We get so used to this voice in our heads that we believe that it IS us. However, it is just one of your parts that has been there a very long time.

Don’t worry, we aren’t going to get rid of her, you are going to get to know her and appreciate what she is there for. 

We develop patterns of protection early in life to keep us safe. At some point, these patterns hold us back and begin to create negative consequences.

Get to Know the Negative Thoughts of Your Inner Critic

One way to become aware is to write down all the horrible and critical things you say to yourself. Just list them, one by one.

This is not you. This is just one part of you. Seeing what you say to yourself probably won’t feel great. Yet, it’s powerful because you know that you would probably never say these kinds of things to anyone else.

When you think how saying these things to others would be harmful to them, you can begin to see how harmful they can be to you.

Learn What Your Inner Critic Really Wants 

Once you get tuned into your inner monologue, you can begin to ask her what she wants for you.

I like to tune into my body, get grounded by feeling my feet touching the floor, take a few deep breaths, and tune into my body.

As I tune into how my body feels, I can ask that part what it really wants for me.

This is usually something along the lines of to be safe. There are no wrong answers. 

Lean Into the Lesson with Compassion

As you do this you begin to see that your inner critic actually wants what is best for you. She’s not trying to hurt you. 

If you haven’t done something like this before, it may sound really weird. However, once you communicate lovingly with your inner critic, she becomes less critical of you. You begin to have a relationship of trust.

Here are some inner critic examples. You may have a closet that needs cleaned out. The mean voice may say things like:

What is wrong with you?

You are so lazy.

You always let people down.

You’re such a disappointment.

I’ve heard worse from my clients! But this kind of talk doesn’t usually get the closet cleaned.

Once you talk to yourself with compassion, you can begin to understand why the closet isn’t getting cleaned.

Perhaps it is tied to bad childhood experiences of cleaning things out.

Maybe cleaning out closets happened right before your family moved for the 10th time and you had to say goodbye to all your friends.

Or even after cleaning your closet, your parent just nodded and said, maybe better next time.

So, you get caught in this loop of needing to do something but dreading it. With patients and compassion though, you can understand the whole picture.

When you have this perspective, you can choose to clean your closet or not, and it will because that is what you want to do and you’ll understand your grown up reasons for the task.

Align with Your Highest Self

As you quiet the inner critic, you begin to be your highest self. You understand why you do things and why you don’t do things.

You become more authentic and grounded and you and your life feels better. This authenticity is the real you.

You can’t just push your inner critic away but you can get to know her and to coexist peacefully with her. 

In some way, she has been trying to be your helper and friend. All this means is that she isn’t gone but she now trusts you to do what’s best for you.

Life Without an Inner Critic

It may feel weird at first to trust yourself to be and do what feels like your real authentic self. It may be the first time you’ve allowed yourself to even want what you want.

With time and patience, this can become second nature and I believe it is the best way to live a life that feels good and to feel whole as a person.

When we integrate all parts of ourselves, we live with an authenticity that is powerful. It feels good and it also allows you to create a life you love.