How To Live In The Moment: Be Present, Happier, And Stop Worrying

If you learn how to live in the moment, be present, happier and stop worrying you will feel better and do better! It’s such a fun way to live and it’s my mission in life to introduce it to as many women as possible.

I believe in helping women feel better because I know so many women do not feel good. They feel tired, discouraged, and almost hopeless, even when they feel like they should be grateful for the life they have.

You’ve done the things. You’ve tried to be a good person. You’ve spent your life taking care of others and even taking care of yourself.

But you spend so much time thinking about what you could have done better or what you can do better going forward.

If that sounds like you, I’m here to tell you, that it is possible to be present, happier, and to not worry as much.

It’s not just possible but good for you in all the ways, including your physical, emotional, and mental health.

What Does Not Living in the Present Moment Look Like?

How much time do you actually spend fully in a present moment? I ask you this with all seriousness.

From what I know about myself and others, we spend the majority of our time in rumination, rehashing the past or worrying about the future.

Oh, and there are the many ways we avoid any thinking by watching TV, scrolling on our phones, or even reading.

How is this showing up in your life?

• Thinking about past things
• Thinking or worrying about the future
• Being fully present to whatever you are doing:
• Avoiding all of the above through TV, reading, or numbing
• Feeling consumed by negative thoughts 
• The Negative Effects of Not Living in the Moment
• Living with high blood pressure
• Gaining weight year after year
• Even when you have time, you can’t relax or rest
• Feeling guilty for taking time for yourself
• Being at other people’s beck and call, even when you are exhauste
• Aches and pains that you can’t resolve
• Not having time to plan and eat meals or exercise
• Too much time spent scrolling social media

This list could be longer, but these are the COMMON things I see in the women I work with. Women literally sacrifice their own well-being, physical health, and joy in their own life to live up to some unreachable standard!

Not being able to engage in self-care or physical health because you have too much on your mind

In general, research indicates, we spend about half our thinking time on things other than what we are doing right now. 

And unfortunately, we are not spending that time in present-moment awareness or feeling positive emotions

This seems to be our brain’s default mode of operation as human beings. Unfortunately, not being present to yourself results in a negative effect on your moods, your health, and every other aspect of your life.

I’m not suggesting that we can’t spend any of our thinking in the past or future. However, the quality of our lives depends on the quality of our thoughts.

I would say that my life’s work is helping women learn to think better so that they can feel better. When we feel better, we naturally do better.

A big part of this is gaining a new perspective, noticing bodily sensations, and gaining acceptance for the life they are currently living.

Many women just want to jump to the fix this thing in my life without really examining what is actually going on.

For example, if they are overeating, they just want to stop. But it’s impossible to making a lasting change in habit without exploring why you overeat in the first place!

Your well-being and mental health require more than just changing a bad habit. You really can’t just beat yourself up into changing.

And this is especially true as you reach your fifties and beyond. 

This applies to our health, weight loss, relationships, and the quality of our work life. As long as we believe change only requires making a plan and sticking to it, we miss out on 95% of our real power to change.

Often, we try to change behaviors using the same thinking that created the behaviors. This does not work.

We cannot change or solve a problem with the same thinking that we used to create the problem. This keeps us stuck in something we come to believe we can’t change.

Many women resist being in the present moment simply because it is too painful in some way. We desperately want to feel better but don’t believe that we can change all the reasons why life feels painful.

A great example of this is a woman who is overworking, either at her job or even in retirement. It literally does not feel safe to slow down. 

But by her fifties or even before, her body is showing the wear and tear. Perhaps she is gaining weight every year. Or she has a collection of health ailments. She doesn’t have time to rest and relax.

So, she doubles down and tries to work harder believing that if she can just work harder, she’ll get ahead.

That day never comes. Hear me on this. No one will value your health as much as all they take for granted you do. Most women overwork and do way more than their share at work.

No wonder depression and anxiety are so common!

Here’s a belief to work on. You can change the circumstances of your life and it starts with the belief that it is possible. That’s all for now. Just begin allowing yourself to believe it just might be possible.

10 Ways to Live in the Present Moment

Truly, you won’t have to spend all your free time in meditation practice or really doing anything you don’t find interesting.

However, you are going to have to commit to your own well-being and to being the boss to yourself that you wish you had. 

Here are 10 things you can do to be present, happier, and stop worrying so much

Build the belief

Step one is allowing for the possibility that you can be present in the moment and in your own life. 

Right now, you have decades of experience saying this isn’t possible. However, I’ve worked with some tough cases and I know that it IS possible.

I’m going to show you the how and once you find out how amazing it can feel, you will get hooked on freeing up more time to be present in the moment.

However, to get that started, I need you to allow that this is possible. I know that is a big ask, but just find the words that feel doable for you.

It might be possible to slow down and be present

Maybe I can change my life

This could be really good for me

I’m curious about whether I can be present in the moment

Play around with these soft beliefs until you find one or two that make you FEEL BETTER. That’s enough for now.

Create new habits and make them part of your daily routine

Since I do a lot of work around weight loss and eating habits, one of the first things I suggest is making time to eat regular meals.

It amazed me at first, how many women do not actually plan for, prepare, and eat meals on a regular basis.

So, if you aren’t either, this is an excellent place to begin. 

Other things women tell me they wish they had time for are the following:

• Exercise and walking
• Reading books 
• Resting when tired
• Gardening
• Sitting outside
• Playing more with pets
• Going for longer walks
• Praying/meditating
• Cooking or baking
• Crafts
• Savoring a cup of coffee

Committing to doing something you enjoy every single day, is one of the most powerful decisions you can make. 

Most of us live in what I call punishment mode. What I mean by that is that we don’t allow ourselves to do something we enjoy because we don’t feel like we’ve earned it. 

Unfortunately, many of you never get to the point where you feel like you’ve earned time to do what you want, until it is too late and you either can’t do it physically or you’ve just given up.

I mean this with my whole heart–it is important to do things to rest, for fun, or to enjoy. Put it on your schedule every day. Don’t wait for leftover time. Make this a priority!

Look closely at your thoughts

There’s no getting around it, you gotta learn what’s really going on in your mind. It isn’t always pretty and it’s certainly not rainbows and flowers.

Before we can change, we have to know what we are currently creating with our minds. Everything you’ve ever done, everything you are doing, and everything you will ever do, starts in your mind.

If your thoughts are crap, you are experiencing some crap in your life.

Many of you have created lots of amazing things in your life, from your homes to your families, to your careers.

But it’s almost epidemic that so many women are not happy at heart. We know we should be but we just can’t paste enough smiles on our face to really feel it anymore.

Working with a life coach trained in mindset is a great way to see what you are really thinking and what results you are getting. That is the short cut and the quickest way to discover how powerful your thoughts are.

In addition, you can journal. I journal every morning to discover what is going on in my mind. I like to get my thoughts out of my head and onto paper. 

The reason I like these two ways the best is that they really get to the heart of things–the good, the bad, and the ugly. Things we don’t really want to look at too closely but that we need to for our own good.

Pay attention to when your body hurts or is tired

We women are experts at ignoring our body’s needs. We are masters at pushing through pain, tiredness, and brain exhaustion.

Heck, we even hate to take time to go to the bathroom!

I believe that women would have fewer injuries and physical symptoms if they would listen to and respect the limits of their bodies.

You have to rest your body!!!

Pushing through physical pain and discomfort doesn’t make you stronger forever. It creates wear and tear on your body.

Eventually hips, knees, feet, shoulders, and other parts give out. Sure some problems are going to happen anyway.

But many of them are self-created because you refuse to listen to your precious body.

Most women are only focused on losing weight as opposed to truly loving their body. Your body is the KEY to the quality of your life as you grow older.

Nothing will be as important to you as your body when you are older. I’ve seen the other side of life by getting to know the people in my mom’s retirement community.

Take care of your body. When it hurts. Rest it.

Release judgment towards yourself and others

You are going to feel judgment. For some of you, you will feel like you are in the right. Some of you are going to feel like you are being petty.

Either way, those judgy thoughts are going to come up.

Here’s where that can be a problem.

If you stay stuck with the thought, “I am right“, then you become more rigid. You are usually stuck in the past, where you developed that belief.

If you feel petty, like you are a bad person for having these thoughts, then you are creating a situation for yourself where you feel bad about who you are as well as the person you are judging.

Stay present. When you notice judgmental thoughts, see them for what they are. Just thoughts. They don’t make you a good or bad but they can make you feel bad.

Appreciate the wisdom of your feelings and mood

​In general, your feelings and emotions are a result of how you are thinking. I use the word feelings and emotions interchangeably.

Here’s the paradox of feelings. They are incredibly important and can help you navigate your life more effectively.

However, we often give our feelings way too much importance, when we haven’t looked at what is behind them.

A lot of women feel bad and they believe that this is just how it is. Often it is because of a situation or someone else.

What is really true is that it is the thoughts we have about other people or situations that create our feelings.

Over time, we believe that what we think is true.

It often isn’t. It’s our beliefs and interpretations that create our feelings.

Notice the small things that bring you pleasure

I recently wrote a whole post on how powerful appreciating simple pleasures can be.

We often spend so much time wishing for bigger different things, we forget or ignore all the small pleasures that are already in our lives.

People who appreciate the small pleasures are happier in general.

When you lose access to these little things, they are the things you will miss the most.

Earlier in this year, I went to Europe and it was amazing. I’d love to go again. But I don’t miss it.

However, I used to live in a house with a lovely courtyard and garden. I often find myself missing those moments sitting out on my patio, enjoying the flowers and plants I planted.

Or I miss a little dog I owned for 10 years. I adopted her when she was two and she was my faithful companion for years. I miss her snuggles and happy wiggles.

So appreciate those simple pleasures today, while you have them.

Get out of your head and get into your body

We spend so much of our time thinking about things we can’t change or we can’t fix. It’s very frustrating when no matter how much we think, we can’t figure out an answer that puts our brain at ease.

The problem with this is that when we are stressed out, we literally can’t access good solutions. It’s counterproductive to keep yourself stressed out by overthinking.

For more on this, check out my post, How to Quit Over Thinking. When I am stuck in my brain, I like to push the pause button and get into my body.

Just sit and get into your body. Visualize your focus leaving your head and dropping into your body. Use your imagination to explore your body and notice how it feels.

Where do you feel pressure?

Where do you feel any discomfort?

Find that place and just be there with it. You don’t even have to name it. Just feel it. If it feels uncomfortable, you can say to yourself, “This feels uncomfortable.”

As you breathe and focus on your body, the discomfort will dissolve and you’ll feel calmer and more peaceful.

This is where you will have more access to the answers you seek. You free up the part of your brain that can actually help you.

Explore your creativity

You can’t be anywhere but, in the moment, when you are being creative. It’s a lovely time where you can be focused on what is flowing from you.

When I write, I can only focus on getting down the words that seem to flow out of me. I will start with a general idea but what comes out often surprises me.

There are so many different ways to express your creativity.

I used to love scrapbooking. I probably spent hundreds of hours putting together scrapbooks.

I tend to enjoy crafts rather than things like painting or drawing. But for others, their experience of art is like how writing is for me.

Now, sometimes you have to spend some time as a beginner before you get to the flow stage, but that also puts you in the moment.

How to Live in the Moment More

There are so many benefits to living in the moment. You feel better, you think better, and you can find more joy in life.

Of course you’ll look ahead to tomorrow and you’ll think of yesterday but you don’t want to get stuck there in a way that causes you pain.

And when you do spend time there, I recommend you think about the good times in an appreciative way and you look towards tomorrow with optimism.

Instead of worrying about how far you have to go, remind yourself how at this moment right now, how far you’ve come.