The only person you have any control over in this situation, is YOU. So, you get to decide how you want to think about this and ultimately how you want to feel. You can decide to love her no matter what she says or does. Love ALWAYS feels better. For you. You don’t have to defend yourself or try to convince her about anything. She has the right to be anyway that she wants to be and it doesn’t have to affect you at all! Make peace with yourself around this first. You can do this! Be a powerful example by not asking her to change so you can feel better.

I really appreciated your blog. I am really struggling with my 16 year old stepdaughter. Ever since I married her dad she says terrible things about me and acts like I’m a terrible person. Her mother says terrible things about me. But honestly I have just tried to be a
Good human. Now when I distance myself for protection she pulls out the tears at family events to tell her aunts how Ignore her. I am so angry at her and her mother. She won’t come to our house ever since we got married and won’t see her dad unless I am
Not there. This is hard on our 1
Year old
Marriage. I am struggling. I have asked her to meet with me several times and she makes an excuse or ignores my text. Please help
Me.

That can be difficult. But unless you are married to the person, you can usually distance yourself. Don’t initiate contact. Let things be. Be polite, civil. Take care of yourself. Don’t look for apologies or improved behavior. Gently, remove yourself from their life as much as possible.