Feeling stuck or low on energy? Learn quick, practical ways to raise your vibe in 10 minutes a day and create more calm, clarity, and joy.

We all have days when life feels heavy, our energy dips, and we just can’t shake that low-vibe feeling. The good news? You don’t have to stay stuck there.

By using a few simple, intentional practices, you can raise your vibe in as little as 10 minutes and feel more clear, calm, and connected. In this post, I’ll show you exactly how to shift your energy quickly so you can get back to feeling like yourself again.

I’ve also included a guided meditation and links to the resources I use to help raise my vibe.

We all have an invisible force that shapes how we feel; it’s our personal energy or our vibe. But when life feels heavy or overwhelming, it’s easy for our energy to dip.

Here’s the good news?

You can raise your vibe in just 10 minutes a day. By using simple, intentional practices, you can shift your energy quickly and start feeling better in no time.

Why Raising Your Vibration Matters

Raising your vibe does not mean trying to always act or feel positive. I think of your raising your vibe though as a way to naturally connect with more of what you want out of life and feel better overall.

• You attract more of what you want in life
• Interactions with others are just easier
• Life is more interesting and fun
• It makes you more attractive
• You make better decisions that benefit you and ultimately others

Let’s explore how easy it can be to raise your vibe and experience the positive effects on your mind, body, and spirit.

You really can raise your vibe in just 10 minutes? Small shifts in your routine can make a world of difference in how you feel. By taking a few intentional actions you can lift your mood, clear your mind, and tap into a more positive state of being.

What is Your Vibration?

Your vibration is your personal energy, essentially, your overall emotional frequency. Think of the people you know: some radiate warmth and positivity, others feel more neutral or even negative.

We all carry an energetic “tone” that influences how we experience life and how others experience us.

This isn’t about being cheerful all the time. Even the most positive people have hard days, and negative people have moments of joy.

What matters is becoming intentional about where you spend most of your emotional energy. When your vibration is higher, you feel better, think more clearly, and take actions that support you.

How Raising Your Vibration Helps You

I like to imagine vibration as a scale with joy and love at the top, heavier emotions like fear or anger further down. It’s normal to move up and down this scale.

The key is knowing that you can influence your place on it.

When your energy is low, everything feels harder. Thoughts spiral, small setbacks feel bigger, and healthy habits become harder to keep up.

But when you intentionally raise your vibration, you shift into a clearer, calmer, more empowered state.

This isn’t about faking positivity. It’s about using simple practices to reset your emotional frequency so you can navigate life with more ease, clarity, and resilience.

Over time, these small shifts compound, helping you build a more grounded and joyful way of being.

Over the years, I have created a tried and true list of activities that help me feel better. The first one I wrote was almost 10 years ago called How to Feel Better Fast.

There is some overlap and some new activities that I’ve added since then. But I’ve relied on these practices for years now and they’ve really helped me create a life that I love.

Some of these practices are part of my daily routine, that’s how important they are. Others I do every week or so. 

I believe that these kinds of practices can improve our physical health, our mental state, and our emotional frequency. 

As you learn to raise your vibe, you may be more motivated to be intentional in creating a higher vibrational state. 

So let’s dive in!

Activities to Raise Your Vibration

Like I said above, these are my tried and true that I’ve been creating and using over the past 10 years. 

You can commit to doing these on a regular basis or you can use as needed. There is no wrong or right way, the only intention is to feel better.

Changing your vibration can be the best medicine at times!

Daily Practices to Raise Your Vibe

Tapping or EFT

Tapping is as important to me as eating healthy and exercising. If you aren’t experienced with it, it might seem weird. However, it’s one of those things that provides measurable results.

Often when you tap, you rate how you feel on a scale of 1 to 10. After tapping, you rate how you feel again. I’ve never tapped and not felt better.

What is unique to EFT is that it begins with stating the problem. You spend some of the time acknowledging that you do feel bad and processing that through gently tapping on acupressure points.

You acknowledge and accept how you feel right now. As you tap, the process moves into statements that help you feel better.

I’ve dabbled for years in EFT but over the past eight months I’ve made it a daily practice. It helps with my focus, sleep, and feeling better in general.

It can be used for almost anything you are experiencing.

My favorite tapper is Brad Yates. He has thousands of free videos on YouTube and I have been very happy with his paid programs.

I have also used The Tapping Solution app. I found it to be a very high quality source for tapping sequences on just about anything you need.

How to tap

Raise your vibe tap

Movement

I love regular exercise and I do many forms of it almost daily. However when I talk about movement in terms of feeling better, I think about it a little different.

Sometimes I use movement to feel better. Just 10 or 15 minutes can really lift my mood. For me, this is usually some kind of fusion workout. The combination of gentle cardio, light strength, and stretch always makes me feel better.

My very favorite is Ellen Barrett. I can always find the right gentle workout to make me feel better. It’s a subscription but you can’t beat the price.

On YouTube I have two favorite channels that I often use as well. These are high quality with great cuing and modifications.

CDornan Fitness

Jessica Smith

Journaling

I wake up most mornings early enough to write in my journal. I use my journal to celebrate my wins, to process my feelings, to create intentional feelings, and sometimes to just write about whatever is on my mind. 

By writing for 10 or 15 minutes, I feel more focused and grounded starting my day. 

When I write, I often see that I have room to feel more than one thing. This morning I woke up feeling bad about myself because I had been being mean to myself in my thoughts.

I buy my favorite journals at Staples but you can also find them on Amazon. They all have great covers. The best price I’ve found is in-store at Staples. But I have bought them from Amazon to get other covers.

I journal a lot!

Silver Lining Composition Book

Here are my favorite pens. They are the best and they are refillable.

Dr. Grip Retractable and Refillable Pen

Practice Gratitude

Practice gratitude by saying thanks for what you already have is a powerful way to raise your energy. It’s so easy to look at what we don’t have and what we wish we had more of.

However, when we really pay attention, our current life is full of things to be grateful for. I often include gratitude in my journaling.

One of the most powerful times of my life was when I did a 30-gratitude experiment. This created a huge turning point in my life.

There are so many ways you can be thankful!

• Mentally say thanks throughout the day
• Write a short gratitude list every day
• Pick you favorite moment from each day before you go to bed, write it down, and put it in a dedicated place such as a jar or pretty box.
• Once a week or so, set the timer for 10 minutes and write everything that you are thankful for in a list.

Rest meditation

This simple activity is one of my daily go-to’s. I use it to calm my nervous system, reset my energy, and heal my body.

It’s a cross between meditation and a nap. It looks like a nap but it’s more intentional than just going to sleep.

The first step is to get comfortable by laying down. I like to lay flat on my bed with a flat pillow. 

First I let my body relax. Sometimes I will guide by body to relax by focusing on different parts and imagining all the stress leaving my body.

I focus on my breath and letting my body feel peaceful. 

If I am using this to aid in healing, then I put my attention on the place in my body that needs a little extra love. I imagine healing energy coming into my body.

This always helps me.

Less Frequent Activities

Guided meditation

I do love a great guided meditation too. You can find these on YouTube. I also created my own a while back. 

For many of us, meditating can be difficult. With guided meditation, your brain has something to do by listening. The guided meditation should allow you to relax and also bring in some positive energy.

Decluttering 

This is another of my favorite ways to raise my vibe. It’s also useful at the same time. 

The process is simple. Find a small area such as a drawer, a cabinet, a table top, or a shelf that you can declutter in 10 or 15 minutes.

• Then pull everything off or out
• Throw away any trash
• If something doesn’t belong there, move it to where it does belong
• Wipe off the surface
• Replace items
• Admire your work!

I find that certain areas tend to get cluttered or messed up over time. Periodically I do this with my sock drawer, my underwear drawer, and all drawers and cabinets in the kitchen or bathroom.

You can also do your refrigerator or freezer. Cars also gather a bunch of junk. 

I believe that when we clean and organize, it helps our brains settle down and we just feel better.

The key here is keep it small and easy. Yes there is a time for big clean ups, but this isn’t it.

Intentional lists

I love lists and I have a few that I keep active.

The one I use the most is my WIN list. Periodically, I will add wins to my list until I have over a hundred.

I am very generous with my definition of wins and include anything that feels good to me whether big or small.

This activity also rewires your brain to look at how you are doing well instead of focusing on what isn’t going as well.

Doing this practice will create some high vibes and can bring great energy into your life.

Another list I keep is my Happy Moments list. Our brains are often on alert for what isn’t working and it’s crucial to remind ourselves every day of the things that make us feel good. 

My third list is where I keep track of synchronicities. 

Synchronicities are meaningful coincidences that seem to happen by chance, but often feel like they’re a little more than that. 

They’re those moments when things line up in just the right way. 

While many people may brush these off as mere coincidences, paying attention to them can be a powerful reminder that you’re in tune with the flow of life. When you notice synchronicities, it’s like getting a little wink from the universe, confirming that you’re on the right path and that things are aligning in your favor.

My most recent one was yesterday when I started writing this post. After writing, I went by a store to browse and I noticed on a wall, huge letters that said Happy Vibes. Then later when I was cleaning out a drawer, I found a business card that a restaurant manager had given me a few months back. It said Good Vibes.

Don’t overthink this one! We get to assign whatever meaning we want to things. The important thing is if it makes you feel better; that’s what is important.

For me, synchronicities are always something that have meaning only for me. As in, if I try to tell people, they probably will not see the big deal.

The other thing though is that synchronicities are very precise and specific. The precise timing is always what amazes me.

Mindful breathing

This is a newer practice for me. Mindful breathing is a practice where you use specific breathing patterns to relax and stay in the present moment. 

It’s a meditation practice in which you are intentional in how you breathe and usually has specific patterns of breath to follow.

Raise Your Vibration

As you can see, it is in the simple things that we can raise our vibes. Spending time in a low vibe isn’t the end of the world, but it feels so much better to raiser your frequency. 

I use these types of activities when I’m in a funk or I’m stuck in a low frequency and I can almost always create a shift into more energy and a better feeling.

And you know what? Feeling better is what it’s all about. Life gives us plenty of reasons to feel bad and we’re going to feel bad at times.

Yet sometimes we need intentional ways to shift out of these feelings, especially when we feel stuck in some way.

When we feel better, we also often do better.

Raising your vibe is all about choosing to feel better in the present moment. Whether it’s through a quick meditation, moving your body, or practicing gratitude, these small shifts can make a huge difference in how you experience life.

The key is consistency: when you raise your vibration regularly, you create a positive feedback loop that brings more joy and energy into your life. So, take a few minutes each day, try some of these practices, and start feeling the difference today!

Raising your vibe isn’t about pretending everything is perfect. It’s about learning how to shift your emotional state so you can navigate life with more ease and clarity. Even a few minutes a day can make a powerful difference.

Whether it’s through tapping, journaling, movement, or mindful breathing, these simple practices create a positive ripple effect in every part of your life. The more you raise your vibration, the more grounded, creative, and alive you feel.

If you’re ready to deepen this work and bring more intentional energy into your daily life, I’d love to help. Schedule a free coaching consult here and let’s explore how to make raising your vibe a natural part of your every day.

6. FAQs Section (SEO Booster)

Adding FAQs at the bottom can help with featured snippets and long-tail queries:

FAQs About Raising Your Vibe

Q: What does it mean to “raise your vibe”?
A: “Raising your vibe” means intentionally shifting your emotional and energetic state from low or stagnant energy to a more positive, calm, and empowered state.

Q: How long does it take to raise your vibration?
A: Just 5–10 minutes of intentional practice like tapping, journaling, or mindful movement can make a noticeable difference in how you feel.

Q: Do I have to be positive all the time to raise my vibe?
A: No. Raising your vibe isn’t about forcing positivity. It’s about learning to move through low-energy states with awareness and simple tools.

Q: What’s the fastest way to raise my vibe?
A: One of the quickest methods is tapping (EFT) or mindful breathing. Both help calm your nervous system and bring your focus into the present moment.

Q: How often should I do vibe-raising practices?
A: Daily is ideal, even for a few minutes. But you can also use these practices “as needed” whenever you feel stuck, low, or overwhelmed.

The post How to Raise Your Vibe in 10 Minutes or Less appeared first on My Think Big Life.

Here are my 10 favorite affirmations for self-care. The reason I created these is because many women, while recognizing that they need to take care of themselves better often have so many reasons that they don’t.

Without the belief that your self-care is important, your day-to day choices about your health become compromised.

So, affirmations can help rewire your brain into believing and eventually acting on your real desire to take better care of yourself.

If you love affirmations, I also have a post with 13 Affirmations for Personal Growth.

How Affirmations Help You Take Care of Your Body

We women are so hard on our bodies.

I want you to think about the ways you talk about yourself, your body, and how you look. Most women are pretty horrible about how they think about their bodies.

We have gotten the idea that our bodies are supposed to look a certain way, instead of just being our bodies. I believe in taking care of our bodies and I also believe in loving and appreciating our bodies unconditionally.

This morning, I looked down at my feet and my first thought was that they aren’t very pretty. I caught myself because in reality my feet are awesome.

I immediately thought about all the work my feet do. In a quick calculation I estimated that my feet have walked over 50,000 MILES over my life.

That is the equivalent of walking around the Earth, twice. My feet are amazing as it turns out.

So let’s get started with these important affirmations and beliefs.

10 Affirmations for Self-Care

My body is wise, strong, and worthy of care, not criticism

My body is wise, strong, and worthy of care, not criticism

Over these past years, I have become an advocate of taking care of your body no matter what your weight is or what you age is.

Thin bodies are not the only ones that should get loving care.

But often that is how we think, even if we don’t realize it. If eating in a healthy way doesn’t cause us to lose weight, we abandon it. Even if it’s good for us.

Instead of resting our bodies, we push them with more doing and work. We literally exhaust our bodies in the hope of never disappointing anyone else.

Instead, we disappoint ourselves daily by not loving our very own bodies.

I listen to my needs and honor them without apology

I listen to my needs and honor them without apology.

This is such a big one and makes a huge difference in my life. If you take away one thing from this post, it’s this.

You have needs and that is okay. It is okay to honor your own needs. What I see and hear about all the time is women who spend their entire lives tapping down their own needs and putting what others need ahead of their own.

If you like who you see in the mirror, you’re probably honoring your own needs. If you don’t recognize the woman in the mirror, you may have been neglecting your own needs.

The reason trying to diet often doesn’t work is because your weight is only a symptom. You can’t fix things by trying to treat one symptom.

Often extra weight is because you don’t honor your own needs. Those needs include rest, fun, love, connection, more rest, relaxing activities, and things that bring you joy.

These are needs my friends!

The more I trust myself, the more grounded I feel

The more I trust myself, the more grounded I feel.

Do you trust yourself? Is it easy to make decisions? Or do you ask others for their opinions and try to get a consensus?

We have not been taught to trust ourselves. For most of your life you’ve been taught to do what you are told.

However, you have an inner spirit, an authentic self. Often women don’t even want to acknowledge what they want or what they know is right for them.

It’s scary to be responsible for your own self. To decide and act upon what is right for you.

Look, it doesn’t have to be that scary and you won’t blow up your life. It’s okay to trust yourself. You’re going to make so-called mistakes anyway, so you might as well do what you know is best for you.

I have the right to take up space, speak up, and shine

I have the right to take up space, speak up, and shine.

We often think taking up space and shining is for younger women. I used to believe that until I became an older woman.

But I believe that is so backwards. We have lived, loved, been broken, put ourselves back together, and are still standing.

This is YOUR time to take up space, speak up, and shine!

I am allowed to rest, to play, and to feel deeply

I am allowed to rest, to play, and to feel deeply.

This is your permission slip. You really are allowed to rest as much as you need, to play and have fun, and most of all to really feel.

Of those, the feeling one probably sounds the most unclear. What I mean by that is while women are considered emotional, my belief is women are actually masters of controlling their own emotions.

I teach women to feel and not be afraid to feel. Being able to feel actually allows your life energy to flow in your body and helps you think with more clarity.

I make food choices that support my health and happiness

I make food choices that support my health and happiness.

When I meet women, very few eat in a way that supports their health and happiness. They eat in a way they think will help them lose weight.

They eat in a way that helps them cope with life by binging or overeating.

They eat in ways that are socially acceptable even if it isn’t what they would eat.

This might seem like a weird thing to say, but you are allowed to eat, to eat food you like, and eat enough that you feel satisfied.

I don’t believe that we should be overeating all the time or eating around the clock, but in general food should be enjoyable as opposed to something to be apprehensive about.

How do you find balance in food, in a way that it supports both your health and happiness?

You concentrate on your primary nutrients: protein, carbohydrates and fat. In real food words, along with your choice of protein, eat plenty of vegetables and fruits, and healthy fats and oils.

Eat enough of these building blocks at your meals and avoid snacking.

Enjoy yourself and what you eat at all times, but especially. when you go out for dinner or on vacation.

I believe many women of our age are dealing with different situations that make it difficult to lose weight.

But you can always feel better by making choices that support your health and happiness.

Your body, mind, and spirit need nourishing food. You are allowed to eat full meals that fill you up and make you feel good.

Your food choices can make you feel better and it’s so worth the time to discover what works for you.

My joy is a priority, not a reward I have to earn

My joy is a priority, not a reward I have to earn.

When do you feel joy? I encourage you to find it wherever you can, even, and maybe especially in the little things of life.

For me, it could be a perfect cup of coffee in the morning. Or sitting on the balcony during a gentle rain. I find joy in my garden, on trails, and in nature.

My greatest joy is time with my grandchildren or my grown children.

Joy is seeing my family play games together or engaged in spirited conversation.

I feel joy when I am in the middle of a workout and my body is stronger.

You don’t have to earn joy; you just need to look for it, acknowledge it, and feel it as often as possible.

I don’t need permission to reinvent any part of my life

I don’t need permission to reinvent any part of my life.

As someone who reinvented herself, I did not ask for permission. One time, my oldest daughter was with me in my closet.

She was looking at my skirts and she asked, “Mom is that a leather skirt?” I said, “It’s probably fake leather.”

As I’ve written on the blog, I didn’t wear dresses, shorts, or bathing suits for about 20 years because I felt so ashamed of my body.

When I lost some weight at 53, I embraced short dresses and shorts. I grew my hair out, got a new certification, and started my business.

I reinvented it all and it turned out; I was really just becoming who I really was. I felt like me for the first time.

I can hold boundaries with grace and clarity

I can hold boundaries with grace and clarity.

Boundaries can be such a heavy word. In some cases you need to have actual boundaries but more often, what you need is to keep you word with yourself.

Here are some common scenarios that women will tell me about, as if they can’t do anything about these things.

• Food that is brought to work to share, such as donuts, pizza, and other treats
• Someone in the family worked hard and made something homemade. Of course you can’t say no.
• Your partner wants to eat at a certain time and eat certain kinds of foods.
• You are so busy with work, you don’t have time to eat.
• You are so busy, you don’t have time to plan meals, shop, prep, cook, and eat.

You get the picture? You want to take care of yourself and eat better, but so many situations and people are getting in the way.

Deep down, most of us don’t believe our personal and health goals are not important. Well, they are important until it comes to perhaps disappointing someone else.

Look, I don’t want you to wait until you are sick to start taking care of yourself. That time is now.

Every time you put what someone else wants or offers ahead of your own health, you are letting yourself down.

Every day, I choose to live instead of just getting by

Every day, I choose to live instead of just getting by.

What does living mean to you?

To me, it means having a home that relaxes me. It means doing some fun things. It means connecting lovingly with others. It means moving my body and feeling strong and balanced.

Living means having time to do what is important to me.

Living means feeling energized and optimistic.

Living doesn’t mean everything is perfect and that there are no challenges. Facing those IS living too.

You can see “living” in people’s faces. People who are living look alive, interested, curious, animated.

A lot of times when I am out and about, see people going through the motions.

How do you live?

I believe it begins with noticing and appreciating what is already in your life. You really don’t even have to change anything.

• But notice, really notice your surroundings. See beauty and acknowledge it. Be thankful for as much as possible.
• Say yes to things that feel a little uncomfortable
• Do new things
• Rediscover and make time for old hobbies that you used to love

Affirmations for Self-Care

These affirmations are designed to help you create new beliefs about yourself and what is possible.

Let’s face it, our experience of life is based often on how good we feel physically. Taking care of your self  is essential to living and feeling well.

But to take care of yourself physically, you have to be willing to put yourself first at times and prioritize the decisions you’ve made for your health and well-being.

This may not feel comfortable at first, but it is well worth doing.

How to Use Affirmations

Pick your favorites and write them out and place them where you can see them. Tuck them into drawers you open daily. Put one on the fridge. Stick one on your desk.

Bookmark this post and come back to it whenever you need a dose of inspiration.

Pick one a week and really focus on it until it feels like your new normal.

Use them as journal prompts and reflect on how they resonate with you.

Or after you finish reading, call it good and know you’ve planted a seed that will bloom.

The post Affirmations for Self-Care appeared first on My Think Big Life.

Here are 13 affirmations for personal growth. These statements affirm who you were in the past, who you are now, and who you want to be in the future.

Just reading these affirmations will give you a powerful boost in how you feel.

Make Affirmations a Part of Your Day

Affirmations aren’t magic but instead, I like to think of them as a tool we can use to focus our minds and create intentional feelings.

Even though I’m a life coach and went through a year-long intensive training and I’ve worked with my own coaches, I can still feel all the normal things: frustrated, discouraged, and unmotivated.

Affirmations like these can help me recalibrate and remind me that I am more than a temporary feeling.

On days where I feel amazing, affirmations feel like confirmation. The trick is to find affirmations that resonate with you and allow you to feel possibility.

Then you can use them as subtle loving reminders throughout the day.

The only point is to feel better.

But don’t let that fool you into thinking that’s no big deal.

My friend. Just about everything we do is some attempt on our part to feel better. Lots of those ways can end up making us feel worse, such as overeating or overdrinking.

Affirmations can help you feel better. And when we feel better; we do better. Feeling better is always the direction we are heading.

So let’s jump in.

13 Affirmations to Embrace Your Life

In addition to the affirmations, I’ve included some of my thoughts about them. Each of these resonated powerfully with me. My hope is that you will find a few that work for you as well.

We rarely make quantum changes. Change usually happens bit by bit over periods of time. Affirmations can be a little like a road map, give direction whenever you read one.

I am allowed to grow, change, and redefine myself at any age

I am allowed to grow, change, and redefine myself at any age. This belief is probably the foundation for everything I do and achieve.

When I found myself divorced and living in a new city at 52, I knew I was there to LIVE. Not say that I was too old for things.

This was the time that I lost weight, began writing, got a new job, and began that new phase of my life.

Since those early days, I’ve traveled, started two websites and a life coaching business. I became a grandmother.

I grew my hair out, started wearing cuter clothes, and in my opinion began looking younger.

For too long, we’ve convinced ourselves that there is such a thing as “too old.”

That’s made up. It’s never too late to be the person you are meant to be!

I release outdated rules and make choices that nourish me

I release outdated rules and make choices that nourish me.

Some rules make sense and we all agree on them. However, many rules are just made up.

Back in the day, older women cut their hair, didn’t wear sexy clothes, and didn’t wear white before Memorial Day.

Those are so made up!

What rules have you made for yourself that are holding you back from making choices to nourish yourself?

It’s not too late. In fact, I’m just getting started

It’s not too late. In fact, I’m just getting started

Here’s another affirmation that I love. I love the idea that I can feel like I am just getting started and that I don’t have an expiration date.

Yes, I know I’ll die someday. But until that day I want to live, create, and express myself.

For too many decades, I held myself back from starting. Now I start. And even more importantly I do the things that call to me.

I choose energy, purpose, and joy over guilt, shame, and fear

I choose energy, purpose, and joy over guilt, shame, and fear.

I used to be good friends with shame, guilt and fear. They directed and ruled my life at times.

But somehow, after the worst time of my life (my divorce) I rediscovered my energy, purpose, and joy.

Shame, guilt and fear still show up and I acknowledge them; they are old friends. However, I don’t get stuck there anymore.

I let go of perfection and embrace progress

I let go of perfection and embrace progress.

Trying to be perfect just holds you back. Perfection is often a made-up idea. I’ve seen women keep the breaks on their dreams because they can’t make them perfect.

Do it. Do a little every day. Progress is the name of the game. Your perfection, and I mean that in a more spiritual way, will come as you act on your ideas and dreams.

Your idea of perfection is much less that what you are actually capable of.

I am building a life that reflects who I truly am

I am building a life that reflects who I truly am.

Every day when I look around my home, I see a place that is 100% me. It is filled with pieces of my life: past, current and future.

I love seeing the few things I have that my grandmothers or mom created. I love seeing pictures of my family smiling all around me.

My home is filled with things I’ve collected over the years. I even have nods to the future I want scatter about to remind me of where I’m going.

Over the years, I’ve let go of anything in my home that doesn’t make me feel good.

I no longer work at jobs that drain me. I’ve distances myself from people that drain me. I do work that fulfills me and creates a deep sense of satisfaction.

This has been a many years long process. I think we often live lives that don’t really reflect who we really are. Instead we settle for lives based on what others have chosen and we try to fit in.

Comfort is not the goal; growth and vitality are

Comfort is not the goal; growth and vitality are.

Every day I see women who go about their lives without any spark in their eyes or posture. They are living but they are living in the land of their comfort zone.

To be clear, we all need some comfort zone; we aren’t meant to always live on the edge. But to be dedicated to not feeling uncomfortable feelings will slowly but surely kill that spark of life and vitality.

Vitality comes from taking care of your needs and the willingness to feel uncomfortable at times.

Every day, I choose to live instead of just getting by

Every day, I choose to live instead of just getting by.

Sometimes I feel like I am just getting by. Sometimes it’s financially. Sometimes it’s keep up with my house and car. Sometimes it’s my work.

But overall, I try to go about with a spirit of living.

I don’t see problems as a problem. I see them as new channels of growth. When I see others have more of what I want than I do, I let that inspire my dreams.

The idea of “living” is an attitude, a way of being.

I forgive myself for what I didn’t know then. I know better now

I forgive myself for what I didn’t know then. I know better now.

Above, I alluded to guilt and shame. We all walk around with it. And some of you are living your current lives to make up for something you did as a teenager.

It’s time to forgive that younger part of you. She really was doing the best she could at the time.

Forgiving means releasing the guilt and shame and acknowledging that part of you and loving and being kind to her.

You’ve long ago proved yourself and atoned for the past. There is zero upside for holding onto it.

There is power in my story, and I own it fully

There is power in my story, and I own it fully.

I’ve been telling my story for almost 10 years now. When I started, it felt weird telling my story because in my mind, what story did I have to tell?

But what I’ve discovered is that my stories and experience resonate with some women and there is value in that.

In fact, my story has created income and a business. By taking my story and distilling the lessons I’ve learned, I’ve been able to help other women. Not by telling them what they have to do but by showing new possibilities.

What is your story?

Are you the hero? The victim? The villain?

In my experience women often will believe they are just side characters. But you are the main character of your own story.

Often when women feel bad about their past, it’s because of the story they tell themselves about it.

Usually, I see that they have been on their own unique hero’s journey.

Start seeing your story through the lens that you have been the hero. Yes, there have been challenges and you have met them along the way the best you could.

My future excites me more than my past defines me

My future excites me more than my past defines me.

I love this affirmation because it speaks to the possibilities ahead of me. We often hear people say that their best years are behind them.

It doesn’t have to be that way though. The biggest determining factor in how you feel about your life; is the way you decide to feel about your life.

I embrace new experiences with curiosity, not fear

I embrace new experiences with curiosity, not fear

To be honest, I actually face new experiences with plenty of fear. However, I let myself feel that fear and I do my best to comfort myself.

Then I create intentional curiosity to move me along.

Doing new things will naturally create fear and apprehension. But we don’t have to get stuck there as many do.

I see fear keep people stuck for years. Heck, fear kept me in my place for decades.

Now, I don’t see fear as a reason to not do something. It might be a reason to evaluate something and that’s a good thing.

However, sometimes fear just indicates an old outdated way of thinking and it’s time to update your mindset and beliefs?

This season of life is mine—and I will live it boldly

This season of life is mine—and I will live it boldly.

I have to admit, I write boldly. In real life, sometimes I feel anything but bold. But I also believe with my whole heart that this season is mine.

And because of that, I meet it as boldly and bravely as I can.

You don’t have to be bold or brave every minute of the day. However, if you can start thinking boldly about your life and look for times when you are brave; you will begin to feel more confident about this season of your life.

We can’t go back. And we really can’t even predict the future. We can imagine a future and we can do what we can, with what we have to boldly embrace our current season.

How to Use These Affirmations for Embracing Your Life

Pick your favorites and write them out and place them where you can see them. Tuck them into drawers you open daily. Put one on the fridge. Stick one on your desk.

Bookmark this post and come back to it whenever you need a dose of inspiration.

Pick one a week and really focus on it until it feels like your new normal.

Use them as journal prompts and reflect on how they resonate with you.

Or after you finish reading, call it good and know you’ve planted a seed that will bloom.

The post 13 Affirmations for Personal Growth appeared first on My Think Big Life.

Here is some news that is going to be surprising to many of you. Your well-being, mental health, and quality of life depend on the amount of self-care you give yourself. Here is how to make time to take care of yourself.

If you aren’t sure whether this post is for you, try this.

Sit quietly and think about all the things you need to do. Let that go through your head. Not put your attention on your body.

What does it feel like? Use your imagination to scan your body. Do you feel pressure, heaviness, or even squeezing anywhere.

How does your heart area feel? How about your gut. Check in with your neck or chest. Maybe your whole body feels something.

Most women are walking around with a body that feels tense and with some amount of discomfort from the pressure in their lives.

This is NOT a good thing.

For too long, a lot of you put off taking care of yourself until tomorrow and as we all know by now, that tomorrow never comes.

There are always so many other things to do. So, guess who always come last?

YOU!!!

I’ve been working with women as a life coach for over six years now. The thing that surprised me the most about women was how little time they actually spent taking care of themselves.

Now don’t get me wrong. They took care of their appearance, their families, their careers, their co-workers, their communities, and their friends.

However, I soon realized that actually taking time to rest, reflect, daydream, read, or really any kind of true downtime was treated like I was suggesting they go out and rob a bank.

Resting or doing nothing was almost a foreign concept or at least something only a lazy or uncaring women would do.

Why Not Taking Care of Yourself is a Problem

These are some of the common things I see in my practice. What I see are exhausted and/or frustrated women.

Here’s the thing. You all are the hardest, most conscientious people I’ve met. You are doing so much good!

However, that comes with a cost and that cost is coming at your very own expense. This cost comes from your physical, mental, and emotional health.

And it is not going to get better if you don’t address it. Many of my clients have retired from their careers but still find other ways to overwork. 

Learning to take care of yourself is something that has to begin within you. You have to believe that you deserve, absolutely deserve rest and care every single day. 

But let’s look at what is actually going on with many of you.

• Fatigue
• Anxiety levels
• Weight gain
• Trouble sleeping
• Low self-esteem
• Wanting your partner or others to change or take on some of the work
• Feeling like you are in survival mode (you are)

Another completed task or checking something of your to-do list will not fix this. For many of you, there is a belief that if you can just do enough today, you’ll have less to to do tomorrow.

Instead, that darn list just keeps growing and people want more and more from you.

Most of my clients are hardworking, productive women who are also super smart and accomplished. Yet, at some point, often after age 50, they find themselves unable to lose weight, sleep well, or do things that used to bring them joy.

The problem I see the most, is that their current schedule doesn’t include time to truly take care of themselves.

What is Taking Care of Yourself?

So, what do I mean by not having time to take care of yourself? It means that you are intentional and make time for activities that recharge you and allow your body to relax.

Many of you are walking around with so much stress in your body. That stress in your body feels normal, but it is not good for you.

I’ve noticed that there’s usually time to get hair and/or nails done, outside of work and family but not much time for other important things such as:

• Rest
• Exercise
• Meal planning, prep, and cooking
• Eating (eating at desk and in your car don’t count)

To take care of yourself this way takes time, energy, and effort.

Trying to Solve the Wrong Problem

In my practice, many women want help with some form of problem eating. They think the problem is how and what they eat.

So they keep trying to solve that problem. But in truth, if you have some problem eating, it’s usually just a symptom of other things in your life. 

Taking care of yourself means that you don’t over-schedule yourself. You value your time so much, you are very intentional about how you spend it.

Taking care of yourself means you don’t worry about whether people will think you are lazy or selfish. You don’t worry about disappointing or letting down other people. 

Taking care of yourself means that you prioritize doing things that make you feel good and letting go of things that make you feel bad.

I know, I know. I know how bad you want to make everyone happy, well-adjusted, and taken care of. Unless you are caring for actual children or someone who really cannot, let people manage their own lives.

This is going to feel uncomfortable at first but it’s always the best for everyone. Your relationships will be better when you aren’t so resentful.

Because behind your often smiling face is someone who is resentful and frustrated. And only you can change this. 

Not taking time for yourself in so-called nonproductive ways should be a part of your DAILY routine. You read that right. Every single day, you should be unproductive on purpose.

Friends, I know you think you should be productive every waking moment, but that is just not true. That is some old programming that just isn’t working anymore.

We think many of our problems are because of aging and such, but too often I see many problems that are created because we have gone decades without really resting or being intentional about how we use our energy.

Resting and other forms of self-care are not a luxury; they are a necessity.

Ways to Make Time to Take Care of Yourself

Healthy Work-Life Balance

Jobs are important and I believe in doing a good job. However, many of you are doing your job plus a lot of extra.

After years with the same company, you might be working more hours than you want believing you have to.

How do I immediately know when someone is overworking? One, you aren’t taking time to eat lunch away from your desk. Two, you look tired. Three you tell me you don’t have time to meal plan or cook. Four, you don’t have time for activities you used to enjoy. You don’t have time to exercise.

Achieving a healthier work-life balance begins with you taking charge of your schedule.

Block off time to eat and take a break every day. Put it on your schedule and do it, even if you don’t think you have time. Prioritize this time. Do this even if you work at home. Create time for a break and keep to that.

Have a time of day that you are done. Close the computer at a certain time. Make working after that time an exception, not the rule. I know you think doing a little more will help tomorrow. That’s the kind of thinking that keeps you overworking.

Focus on your essential job and don’t take on other people’s work.

This is a process!

You will end up doing an even better job when you focus on you creating a schedule that allows you to do your most focused work.

But really, start with taking time to eat.

If you are working so hard it’s affecting your health, it’s important to address this. When you die, get sick or retire, they are just going to replace you.

If you don’t value your health and wellbeing; no one else will either.

Relaxation

You need rest and relaxation.

Working until you can’t move and collapse is NOT resting! You can rest before you absolutely become exhausted.

Now here’s the fun part. Rest looks different for everyone. For me, it’s a good book on the couch.

For you, it might be:

• Walking or playing with your dog
• Working in your yard or garden
• Taking a leisurely walk
• Going to a workout or yoga class
• Sitting outside
• Working on a craft or hobby

This resting time is good for you. It relaxes your body and mind. You can actually feel your body relax.

Make relaxing a part of your daily life. You will find yourself looking forward to it. It’s not wasted time—it’s essential time.

On your self-care journey, routine rest is a healthy thing.

Set boundaries

This means you know how to say no, let people down, and at times disappoint other people.

Look, you are tired and feeling like crap because you believe that if someone asks you to do things; you need to do that.

You don’t.

The reason you keep doing more than you want is because you don’t want to feel the discomfort of feeling like you are letting someone down.

Seriously, so many of you will take on hours of work or obligation because you can’t stand the thought of feeling like you are letting someone down.

Feeling uncomfortable might last a couple of minutes. Just feel uncomfortable and say no.

What no one tells you is that there is so much relief in being able to say no and be intentional about your own time.

Others may be disappointed. But isn’t that really a them thing?

This isn’t just about a job if you have one. A lot of you have husbands, family, and friends that expect too much of you.

I know, you’ve taught them and let this get out of hand over the years. But it really is best for everyone when you decide what to take on based on your own desires and energy.

Creating the Mindset to Take Care of Yourself

The main thing getting in the way of you taking care of yourself is you very own belief system and mindset.

Every woman I’ve worked with has some kind of belief system that says they need to do their best all the time and for everyone else.

This belief system is so ingrained and strong, it’s really difficult to make changes, even if you really need to rest.

By this time, many of you are dealing with extra weight and health issues. Even that isn’t enough to create change.

So, the beliefs that will help you are this: You deserve to have time to take care of yourself. You deserve rest. Also, other people are capable and able and you don’t have to fix, manage, or control everything.

If you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or like you’ve hit a wall, it’s time to stop working harder at the wrong things. The truth is you don’t have to change everything to make a difference in your life. By focusing on what truly matters and believing that you can make changes, no matter your age or situation, you open the door to new possibilities.

I help women just like you shift the way they think about themselves, their habits, and their future. It’s not about big, overwhelming changes. It’s about taking small steps that lead to real growth and making intentional choices that move you toward the life you want.

The future is wide open. You have the power to create it; let’s get started together

The post How to Make Time to Take Care of Yourself appeared first on My Think Big Life.

Many women are caught in a cycle of overworking and guilt. Here’s how to stop feeling guilty all the time and rest, eat, and live without shame.

Does this sound like you?

• You’ve done everything right.
• You work hard, take care of others, and you try to eat healthy.
• But somehow, no matter how much you do, you still feel like it’s not enough.

Yet, you can’t seem to rest, eat a treat, or even say no—without feeling guilty.

You are not lazy.
You are not broken in some way.
And you are not lacking discipline.

But you have learned to judge yourself through a lens of perfection, pressure, and performance.
Especially around things like food, rest, and taking time for yourself.

And that’s the guilt cycle.

What Is the Guilt Cycle?

• You take a break and feel lazy.
• You eat something that tastes good and feel like you’ve “messed up.”
• You do something kind for yourself and immediately try to justify it.

Sound familiar?

This pattern shows up in so many of the women I coach, especially those over 50.

Why?

Because you’ve spent decades putting others first, overachieving, caretaking, and managing the emotional climate of everyone around you.

You’ve internalized the idea that rest, joy, and ease must be earned.

And that, my friend, is a coping mechanism, not a truth.

Why Guilt Doesn’t Actually Make You Better

Guilt feels productive because it keeps you in motion.

But let me be clear: guilt is not a virtue.
It’s a warning light that your self-worth is tied to performance.

And it carries consequences.

When you can’t allow yourself to rest, enjoy food, or say no without negative self-talk, here’s what happens:

• You abandon healthy eating habits because you’re stuck in the cycle of binge eating and restriction.
• You reach for food to soothe anxiety or negative emotions—then spiral into feelings of shame and remorse.
• You say yes to everything, then burn out and blame yourself for not having more “willpower.”
• You lose sight of your joy, your energy, and sometimes, even your identity.

How to Break the Cycle of Guilt

This is the work I do with my coaching clients every day.

Not just managing behavior, but shifting the mindset, emotions, and beliefs that drive it.

Here’s how you can start:

Acknowledge that you need and deserve rest

This isn’t weakness; it’s wisdom. Rest supports your mental health and long-term consistency.

Give yourself permission to care for you

You don’t need to earn self-care with exhaustion. You are worth care now.

Decide ahead of time

Whether it’s taking a walk, making a nourishing meal, or saying no to that extra meeting—decide in advance. This lowers anxiety and reduces inner conflict.

Add pleasure and rest gradually

Start small. Build tolerance for enjoyment. Pleasure is not the enemy, it’s part of a healthy relationship with yourself.

Expect discomfort

Yes, guilt may show up. That’s normal. It’s just an old mindset trying to protect you.
Let the discomfort be there without judgment. This is how you practice self-compassion and mindfulness.

What Happens When You Quit Feeling Guilty All the Time

This is where it gets good.

• You become more consistent with healthy eating, no more on-again, off-again cycles.
• You make decisions from understanding, not fear or restriction.
• You have space for joy, rest, and purpose without apology.
• You shift your behavior not from self-criticism, but from a deep sense of self-worth.

This isn’t just about food or rest; it’s about creating a life you actually want to live.

You Can Change Without Shame

You don’t need to punish yourself into better habits.
You need a new perspective and support that sees the whole you.

This work will help you build self-acceptance and release so many negative feelings. You can become your own most trusted friend. 

Feelings of guilt do not need to be the reason you do or don’t do things. You can find food freedom and build better eating habits.

​The best part is that when you begin prioritizing how you feel, you will feel better. It’s the only thing that makes sense. You have to do things that feel good to feel good. 

Otherwise, you are just trying to make yourself feel good about things that don’t feel good.

This is the kind of work we do in coaching: Not just managing symptoms, but healing the guilt, judgment, and old stories underneath.

If this speaks to you, let’s talk.

And let’s help you start living without guilt.

The post How to Stop Feeling Guilty All the Time appeared first on My Think Big Life.

Have you ever wondered why you hold yourself back, even when you know exactly what you want and how to get it? It might feel confusing or even frustrating, but there’s a deeper reason behind it.

What we often call self-sabotage is actually a hidden way we try to protect ourselves emotionally. After years of coaching midlife women, I’ve seen how patterns like procrastination, perfectionism, and self-doubt aren’t signs of weakness; they’re signals.

And when you start to understand them, you can begin to shift them into something much more empowering.

Self-Sabotage is a misguided form of self-love.

When we self-sabotage it is our own way of keeping ourselves safe. It may feel very frustrating when you know you are capable of doing better but you just can’t seem to do that.

For five plus years as a life coach, I’ve worked with midlife women who are often successful and living good lives. Yet, in one or more areas they are often sabotaging themselves and can’t figure out why.

My job is to help them figure out why they are literally holding themselves back from what they want and to teach them how to change those behaviors into behaviors that help them feel better about themselves and make the changes they deeply desire.

Let’s start with talking about what self-sabotage is not.

It is not happening because you are lazy, unmotivated, or a bad person, though those might be the things you are saying to yourself at times.

Self-sabotage is a way you hold yourself back in certain areas because of mostly unconscious beliefs that override your intellectual thoughts.

How many times do you know what you should be doing but just can’t seem to do it.

There is nothing bad about you as a person if you are holding yourself back in some ways. It can feel frustrating, but it’s not because you are a bad person.

However, after a long time of sabotaging your own efforts, you may feel low self-esteem and a lack of confidence in certain areas.

I want to reframe this who subject in a way that can help you take better care of yourself and reduce self-sabotaging behaviors and self-defeating behaviors.

To do this, I’m going to identify some negative thought patterns that are common in many women.

Awareness of these patterns is the first step. Here’s what I know. We never ever just do things to hurt ourselves for the sake of hurting ourselves.

Our behaviors, no matter how counter-intuitive it seems are done for the purpose of helping ourselves somehow and it’s usually a misguided purpose of keep you safe.

When I say safe, I mean emotionally. The thing about our emotions is that while we might be absolutely physically safe, our feelings may be screaming that we aren’t.

How Our Self-Sabotage Keeps Us Safe

I would say that we tend to self-sabotage in ways that keep us from being too visible, too successful, and to keep ourselves from disappointment or future hurt.

Yes, it’s mostly versions of being afraid of success or afraid of failure.

Why would you be afraid of success? It usually comes down to what others will think of us or the fear that we’ll become someone we don’t want to be.

The fear of failure is we don’t want to try something and not do it right, or it will feel too horrible to try and fail.

The 7 Ways We Self-Sabotage Ourselves

To help this make sense to you, I’ve drilled down into the specific ways women self-sabotage. If you see yourself in one or more of these ways, this is really common.

So common, I’d say most of us have some of these issues at least some of the time. So here we go.

1. Procrastination
2. Perfectionism
3. Fear of failure
4. Fear of rejection 
5. ​Self-doubt
6. Negative self-talk
7. Self-criticism

Let’s dig in!

Procrastination

I used to consider myself a procrastinator. It was a part of my identity. Through writing this blog, I had my big AHA that I really wasn’t.

It turned out, there were just a few areas where I procrastinated. Once I realized that, I noticed that in all the women I worked with who thought they were procrastinating.

It becomes much easier to work with your procrastination when you identify exactly the areas where you do procrastinate.

There is no advantage to telling yourself over and over that you are a procrastinator and creating that identity for yourself and treating it as if you have a defect.

You are a great person who has an area or so where you put off doing things. That is so much easier than working with a personality defect!

Perfectionism

Most of the women I work with identify with perfectionism. Many women want to do everything perfect!

That is a lot of pressure to put on yourself all the time.

The cost though is that you end up only doing the things you know you can do perfectly and not doing things you are sure about.

Perfectionism kills dreams

Perfectionism is the killer of dreams. I see so many women not willing to go through the beginner stage to get to proficiency, especially when it comes to their heart’s desires.

Maybe it’s okay to learn and practice something new for work but to do it for a hobby or a creative career, it is not okay.

Instead of putting that imperfect time in, they avoid doing the thing they think they will love because they can’t do it perfect right from the get-go.

Perfectionism is boring

Trying to be perfect leads to a constricted and possibly a boring life! I believe that leading a boring life is bad for your health, your mood, and your overall sense of well-being.

Now to be clear, I’m not talking about creating the facade of an exciting life on social media or doing things that other’s think is exciting. I’m talking about doing things that light you up.

If you don’t do things because you are afraid you won’t do them right or do them perfectly, you may get stuck in a life of doing the predictable and unchanging motions of life.

Perfectionism is fear of failure

You can’t fail if you don’t try. So the best way to not fail is to not start. When you don’t do things because you don’t think you can do them good enough, you are avoiding any chance of failure in that area.

Not failing doesn’t help you at all. Failing over and over is what actually gets you closer to perfection. And that perfection is in the doing and experience.

Fear of Failure

Following on the heels of perfectionism is fear of failure. This fear seems so baked into us that it almost feels dangerous to fail.

When I think about failing, especially publicly, I can feel the fear in my body. It does not feel good.

However, it really is just an emotion. It’s not actually dangerous—it just feels dangerous.

And to avoid that feeling, we will avoid putting ourselves in situations where we might fail.

When we avoid all things where we might fail, we miss out on so many experiences and opportunities to succeed big time.

Yes, you read that right. When you avoid things where you believe you might fail; you also avoid opportunities for huge successes.

Our greatest contributions and successes do not happen when we hide from failing. Our greatest contributions and successes come when we are willing and even welcome the chance to fail.

The more you fail; the more you experience life. And something can seem like a failure until it doesn’t.

Fear of Rejection

No one loves the feeling of rejection. This fear of rejection can also keep us from living up to our potential.

On some level we may crave greater success or more experiences but we are also wired to stay safe within our tribe.

Our tribes are our families, our faith communities, our friends, and our career/work associates.

Anything we do that might make us feel different or that we think might bring the disapproval of one of our tribes, will create some fear in our bodies.

Here’s a real basic example.

Let’s say everyone in your family is a teacher and your family is so proud of its identity as a teaching family. You, however, want to be a race car driver.

No one in your family has ever been a race car driver and you know you will be facing disapproval.

Instead of pursuing your crazy dream, you decide to go to college and get a teaching degree.

As a college advisor I saw this hundreds of times. I now see it in women later in their lives.

We will literally sacrifice our hopes and dreams for ourselves just so we won’t upset other people.

Self-Doubt

So many dreams die on the hill of self-doubt. Of all the self-defeating behaviors on this list, I would say self-doubt is the most toxic and debilitating.

To combat my own self-doubt, I’ve developed my own solution. If I want to do something, I start doing it and commit to keeping at it until I get what I want.

I love being a writer and life coach. Over the years, I worked on believing in myself more than I doubt myself.

This has led to creating a career for myself that I really enjoy and also grow from. By achieving this impossible dream, I’ve become a woman that I am really proud of.

The overcoming of my self-doubt in myself has been the most powerful thing I’ve ever done in my life.

It’s not being a writer and life coach; it is the conquering of my self-doubt.

The next two self-sabotaging behaviors are similar but they have significant differences. Both are ways we hold ourselves back.

Negative Self Talk

Negative self-talk is something most of us practice until someone like me comes along and says stop it.

Negative self-talk includes talking in a negative way about others, yourself, the world, things you don’t like, and any other thing that you view as negative.

Here’s the problem with this. When we use all the negative things around us to blame for why we can’t succeed in some way, we limit our own power.

Now I get that as a woman, taking even more responsibility seems outrageous. We already feel like we’re taking on the responsibility for how everyone around us feels.

But you simply must take responsibility for your negative self-talk and blame of others. It’s so easy to blame others, situations around us, or even our past for how our life is right now.

Your power to change lies 100% in your ability to reduce and limit your negative thoughts.

What do you do instead? You look at how your thoughts and beliefs are either helping you or holding you back.

For example, recently I was talking to a person who blamed their husband for the weight gain. The problem was that the husband wanted to eat late in the evening and this person wanted to eat dinner much earlier.

The negative self-talk was blaming the husband and also other parts of her life for her weight gain.

So, to be clear, yes, the timing and type of meals might very well be contributing to the weight gain.

However, ultimately it is this person’s choice to eat when and what she wants rather than letting it be her husband’s choice. When we look clearly at our negative self-talk, we can see where we have an opportunity to change if we want.

I promise you, behind all your negative self-talk, is all your power to decide and act for your own best interests.

Self-Criticism

Self-criticism is when your negative self-talk is aimed squarely at yourself. You are the victim of your own hate and disdain.

If you find yourself doing this, you are not alone!

Every single woman I know or have worked with does this at times.

You’re never going to completely eliminate self-criticism but you absolutely can quit believing it. Most of it isn’t true anyway.

We criticize ourselves, in an attempt to make ourselves do better. I suppose at times this has been helpful. However, overall it is self-defeating.

You deserve to be treated with kindness, compassion, and love. And this starts with giving that to yourself.

I promise, you won’t become lazy or selfish, (though I hope that you become more of that, minus the negative connotations), but instead take better care of yourself.

All good change comes from compassion, kindness, and love of yourself.

When I begin working with women, they usually want me to help them feel better about things without having to change those things.

By that I mean, they want a solution that requires them to take better care of themselves, without them actually having to take better care of themselves.

A common example is someone that is busy all day every day, and who correctly says they need more time to exercise.

So the self-critical part will tell them that they are lazy and they need to push harder, give up sleep or rest to get that exercise in.

That’s the part most of us listen to most of the time.

Unfortunately, this doesn’t work well. When we’re exhausted mentally and physically, it’s difficult to add even healthy habits to our day.

So the compassionate, kind, and loving self can look at your current schedule and find that time by cutting back on work hours (most of you give way too much time to work, thoughtlessly), cutting back on time with people you don’t enjoy, and cutting back on chores you hate.

Seriously, don’t listen to that critical part of you that says you have to give more, do more, and be more. She’s just a scared little kid.

When you practice talking to yourself with love, your whole life can change. You and how you feel are just as important as how anyone else feels!

What to Do Instead of Self-Sabotage

In a nutshell, you begin treating yourself as well as you would treat anyone else.

I know, this can bring up some anxiety.

Listen, most women will endure years of self-sacrifice to avoid a few thoughts and emotions. You don’t want to feel like you let someone down or disappoint them in any way.

Here’s the thing. Your very own well-being depends upon you being able to let people down and disappoint them.

You are not responsible for how anyone else feels.

When you know this, that is when your self-sabotage can finally end.

And this is the really cool part. When you love and take care of yourself, it is better for everyone in your life. Your well-being allows you to be your best self in all of your life including partnerships, family, friends, and work.

You’ll get more done in less time. You’ll feel better more of the time. And best of all, you’ll enjoy your relationships even more.

Plus you finally will understand that your self-sabotage isn’t a terminal problem. It’s just something that needs a little course correction.

If you see yourself in any of these situations and want to get help in changing your patterns, click here for a consult to see if working with me could help.

The post How to Stop Self Sabotaging Yourself appeared first on My Think Big Life.

I meet so many women that are exhausted and burnt out and want to know how to change that. Here is how to feel alive again after 50.

It’s so easy for us women to think our best years are behind us. It makes sense if you have given it your all for decades that you’ll be tired and can’t see another possibility.

Many times in an effort to feel alive again, women try to fix their outsides through procedures, products, and diets.

Instead of seeking youthful looks just on your outside, this post is about how to create that feeling of being alive from the inside out. Feeling alive will take years off how you look too.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that our best years are behind us once we pass 50.

But here’s the truth: being alive has very little to do with chasing youthful looks. Real aliveness comes from the inside out. That spark of energy, joy, and presence, that’s what makes life feel worth living.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for doing the things that make you feel your best on the outside. But if you only focus there, you’ll miss what actually changes how you feel.

Think of it this way: don’t wrap an empty box in pretty paper and call it a gift. Start with a vibrant, life-filled you, and then wrap it up however you like.

If you’re in your 50s, you might be feeling some anxiety about aging or wondering what’s next. That’s normal. But those worries don’t have to set the tone for the next chapter of your life.

When I first hit 50, I was stunned. But after that wore off, I made a decision: I was going to create my best life, intentionally.

Looking back on the years between 52 and 62, I can see how powerful that decision was. My ex-husband had a midlife crisis. I did not. Instead, I started shaping my days around what I truly wanted. And the results were life-changing.

For context, I had lived the most traditional life you can imagine. Three kids (now grown and partnered), three grandchildren, fifteen pets over the years (though thankfully not at the same time), graduate school, volunteering, you name it. My kids still tell me they remember an amazing childhood, with a welcoming home and neighborhood friends everywhere.

From the outside, I looked vibrantly alive. I exercised, worked on crafts, stayed busy. But the truth is, I was filling my life with activity while staying disconnected from my own feelings.

A few years after my divorce, I made a conscious choice: I was going to live. I started saying YES to life, and everything shifted.

Now, my life looks very different. While I could make a list of all the adventures that came my way, the real prize is how my everyday life feels now: calm, peaceful, aligned with who I really am. I live with enthusiasm, but I also honor my need for quiet and simplicity.

Your version of a good life might look completely different and that’s not just okay, that’s the point. One of the biggest shifts I had to make was learning to accept who I truly was, not who I thought I “should” be.

That’s why I’m writing this: to help you find clarity, reconnect with your unique wisdom, and start feeling vibrantly alive again.

Five Ways to Feel Vibrantly Alive

To get you started, here are five things that can breathe fresh energy into your life. They may seem simple, but don’t underestimate them, they pack a powerful punch.

And here’s the key: feeling alive isn’t about doing more. In fact, many of us are already doing way too much. Aliveness is about working with your whole self: your mind, your body, your spirit.

Let’s dive in.

Develop Your Mindset, Intention, and Alignment

How many times have you said, “That’s just the way I am”?

We often believe that’s the truth but neuroscience tells us otherwise. You’re not set in stone. You can grow, change, and expand in ways you might never have imagined.

Psychologist Carol Dweck’s work on mindset shows the difference: a fixed mindset keeps you stuck, while a growth mindset opens doors. When you believe you can’t change or succeed, your life tends to prove you right. But when you believe you can, your life shifts in that direction.

That’s what I call living intentionally. You start shaping your life with conscious beliefs about who you’re becoming—not who you’ve been.

When your mindset, your intentions, and your daily choices line up, life feels purposeful. And that alignment? It’s electric.

Feel the Power of Your Emotions

Your emotions are as natural as breathing. They’re constantly happening in your body. But over the years, many of us learn to chase the good ones and push away the uncomfortable ones.

Who wants to feel anger, sadness, or frustration, right? But here’s the twist: the more you resist them, the more stuck you feel.

The truth is, most emotions, if you let them, will move through your body in under two minutes. Yes, even the tough ones.

When you allow your feelings instead of fighting them, you don’t get stuck. You get calmer, stronger, and more present. And in my book, calm is a superpower.

Think about how many things you’ve avoided in life because you didn’t want to feel something. Imagine how much freer you’ll be when emotions no longer scare you. That’s when life gets vibrant, exciting, and fun again.

Tune Into Your Own Guidance and Wisdom

As a coach, women sometimes ask me to tell them what to do. And sure, I could. But the truth is, you already know.

That’s why tuning into your own guidance is essential. Your inner self often wants more for you than you dare to ask for yourself. The scary part? Listening.

It helps to create space for that inner voice: journaling, meditation, or simply sitting in stillness. It can feel hard in our loud, opinionated world. But your wisdom is there, waiting.

The more you listen, the more alive you feel, because you’re living your life, not the one you think you’re “supposed” to live.

Accept and Embrace Your Passions

Passion is life fuel. You don’t need to feel passionate every single moment, but you do need to have things that light you up.

For me, that includes simple joys: plenty of rest, being in nature, starting a hike, spending time with my grandkids. Just thinking about those things makes me feel more alive.

What about you?

• What makes your whole body smile?
• What lights you up from the inside?
• What makes you feel overwhelming love?

Whatever it is, weave it into your life as often as possible. Passion isn’t frivolous—it’s what keeps you feeling vibrant and connected.

Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

Your comfort zone feels safe, but too much of it can quietly drain the life out of you.

Sometimes, growth means deliberately wobbling a little, like practicing balance by standing on one leg. At first, it’s awkward. But over time, it makes you stronger.

The same is true emotionally. Trying new things builds resilience, confidence, and flexibility. It doesn’t have to be earth-shattering, just different.

A few ideas:

• Try a new restaurant instead of your usual one.
• Wear something that feels fun, not just familiar.
• Take a class or go to a workshop where you don’t know anyone.
• Rest in the middle of the day, if that feels uncomfortable.

The point isn’t what you do, it’s that you gently stretch yourself. And when you come out the other side, you’ll feel a rush of aliveness you can’t get any other way.

You Deserve to Feel Alive

So many women I’ve worked with come to me exhausted, burned out, and wondering if feeling alive again is even possible.

It is. And it’s not something you should put off. Your life is too precious to give away to everyone else while you run on empty.

Yes, your work, your family, your community matter. But so do you. Feeling alive isn’t selfish, it’s the best gift you can give yourself and everyone in your life.

You deserve to feel vibrant, energized, and at home in yourself. And the beautiful part? Once you start, you’ll be amazed at how much better life feels inside and out.

The post How to Feel Alive Again After 50 appeared first on My Think Big Life.

Almost every woman I talk to, wants to feel better. To help you get started, I created this list of daily routines to help you feel better.

This isn’t a list of what you should do, this is my list that I use, so you can see how my daily routines support my life and give you some ideas for yours. Your routines may be different.

This post is not about how to get more done, though you might. It’s not about doing more for others. It’s not about being more productive.

I created this post so that you can center your entire day around YOUR wellbeing. Everything is to support you in living a life that feels great to you.

Yes, I know you have people in your life. But almost everyone reading this is an empty-nester or soon to be one.

You now have the opportunity to center your life around yourself.

The funny thing is, that so few of you are doing that. You are still looking for things to do for other people or burning out at your job.

Here’s how to tell if you are doing too much for other people.

Go look in the mirror and answer this question.

Do you like the face and body looking back at you?

Most of the women I know, are not happy with who they see in the mirror and believe they need to do something. Many seek out procedures, diets, or other invasive ways to change how they look.

However, I believe that loving yourself in the mirror starts from the inside out. And instead of an afterthought, I’m encouraging you to make yourself a priority by creating lots of daily routines to help you feel better.

Daily Routines to Help You Feel Better

These daily routines are all easy to incorporate into your life. The more you make time for yourself, the more you’ll love it.

It might feel weird at first to center your life around YOU, but it’s so worth it. These will become the habits that help you create a life you love.

Most of you are in the habit of thinking of everyone else first. Yet, at this time in our lives, women often feel like something is missing or like we aren’t important anymore

This is not true! You are important and the only thing missing is you caring for yourself as much as you do others. And this time of life, instead of being a long wind-down can be exciting and fun.

So let’s dig in and see how you can create your own daily routines to help you feel better.

Start Your Morning Off Right

Before you start your workday, you can set yourself up to have a great day on the regular. The more you take care of yourself, the better things go.

My morning daily habits are the most important part of my day!

For context, I work at home managing and writing for two websites plus my life coaching practice.

I use morning for my own personal routines as well as for all the writing I do. Over the years, I’ve created a practice that allows me to start my day gently and spiritually and also get my content writing done consistently.

There is no hitting the snooze button because I wake up naturally, which is usually between 6 and 7. I drink a big glass of water, then I go fix a cappuccino.

While the coffee machine is doing its thing, I unload the dishwasher from the night before. With coffee in hand, I go and get back in bed.

This is the time when I write in my journal and have meditation and prayer time. When I started this practice consistently, my business began to grow and make money.

It might not sound like much, but it’s made a huge difference. It gets my day off to a peaceful, calm start. I begin my day grounded, centered, and ready.

Then, I get ready to go out to my favorite coffee shop where I will devote about an hour and a half to writing.

Some people exercise in the morning to get it out of the way. I do all my writing first thing. The coffee shop setting is perfect for me.

The soft music, nearby conversations, and my coffee allow me to zone in on my writing tasks for the day.

An hour and a half may not sound like near enough time. However, I believe I do in that time what would take hours and hours if I wasn’t so focused.

By showing up ready to write, my brain just knows it is time to go and I always amaze myself by what I produce.

Even on mornings when I do not feel like writing or feel less than enthusiastic, I go anyway and the words always come. That is the power of a consistent time to focus. By giving myself less time, I get more done.

This simple daily morning routine provides a solid foundation for everything else I do.

Even if you have to get to work, I still believe that spending some quiet calm time in the morning, even 15 minutes can start your day off right.

You can build your own foundation by spending about 15 minutes in journaling, gratitude, prayer, or meditation. Then spend another 15 minutes getting your food for the day ready.

Daily Healthy Habits

Speaking of food, planning, prepping, and preparing food is really important. One of the obstacles women have is that they say they don’t have time to plan, shop, and prepare meals.

Plan, prep, and prepare real meals daily

Before you start your workday, make sure you have your meals planned and do not leave it up to chance. Leaving this undone leaves you vulnerable to energy crashes, missed meals, or a day of grazing on junk.

However, meals are essential to managing your weight. The one thing I have every client do is begin eating regular meals and stop relying on snacks. That alone will stop weight gain and also just make you feel better.

Every client tells me this is a game changer.

So, make this a priority and work other things around your nutrition. You are THAT important!

Along with eating, we all need to move our body more. I hate morning exercise but I love late afternoon exercise. My favorite time is right after work, before dinner.

If you spend a lot of time at the computer, get up every hour and walk for five minutes or so. Add a 15-minute stretching routine to your day to get the kinks out.

Moving your body also gives you a healthy energy boost.

Take your lunch break!

The reason so many of you snack and eat junk food is because you don’t take time to eat. Get up and away from your desk. Block off this time on your schedule. Make it a priority.

When you get overtired and overwhelmed at work, you get into a cycle of never-ending piles of work. Taking control of your schedule and at the very least scheduling your lunch and maybe a couple of breaks will help break this toxic cycle.

When you begin to feel better, you’ll want to manage your work life so that it feels better. My clients who do this always do better at work. Always. And I’ve worked with some top-level employees who at first didn’t believe that was possible.

Not only are they able to focus on the most essential parts of their jobs, but they also end up getting raises, promotions, or even new jobs.

You actually do better when you feel better.

I know you think that your tired, exhausted self is absolutely necessary for the running of everything. But your rested, enthusiastic, focused self is magic.

Move your body

I love all the ways to move my body. I like walking outside and inside. I love fusion workouts that blend cardio, stretch, and strength.

Some of my clients love going to exercise classes and that helps them stick to exercising and also gets them out of work on time to get to class.

It’s all good. Pick ways to move that you enjoy and look forward to. I aim for half an hour to an hour daily. With all the time I spend at a desk and on a computer, it’s essential to my posture, my mental well-being, and my overall health.

Create some daily health habits that support you. The idea is not to just pile more stuff to do onto your plate. The idea is to change out busy work or work you really aren’t responsible for (but you do because people ask you to) with habits that make you feel better, more focused, and productive.

So many women suffer from burnout. Adding some healthier habits can lessen the burnout. I believe it’s better to make the job you have better for yourself as much as possible.

When you feel better, you can stay or look for something that is a better fit.

Self-Care Routines

Your self-care routines are also essential. Of course, everything I’ve written so far can be considered self-care too.

When I think of self-care, I think of the ways that I take care of my emotional, mental, and physical self.

My early morning routine definitely helps with my mental and emotional well-being. Exercise helps my physical body but it also helps calm my nervous system.

Most of us live with a lot of chronic stress. I’d say that the feeling of overwhelm and stress is so common, most women don’t know that you can feel different.

I’d say the greatest self-care will come from things you do that help you create calm and peace for your nervous system.

When I work with clients, I have them check in with their bodies in our sessions. My clients are often shocked by how their bodies actually feel when they focus on the sensations in their bodies.

Let’s say you had something unpleasant happen at work. You know you are upset and since you can’t do anything about it, you want to just let it go.

Your body may have a different idea. When I have clients check into their bodies, they will feel the pressure or squeezing on their heart. They’ll feel the choking around their neck. They will feel the weight on their shoulders. They’ll feel the punch in the gut.

Those common sayings are not just metaphors, they are ways our bodies feel when we are upset. So, you know that you’re upset, but you may think it’s just a thought in your head.

But it also has real feelings in your body that most of us are unconscious about because we will grab our phone to scroll, eat some junk food, have a glass of wine, or dig into some more work.

None of that makes that unprocessed feeling go away.

It’s part of the reason we all feel like crap. We walk around with all this chronic stress and unprocessed feelings.

The good news is that you can process feelings, even difficult ones. That frees up your body and your mind to make good decisions about how you take care of yourself.

So, think of self-care routines as ways you regulate your nervous system, so that you lesson the body stress load.

Exercise

It really does help. When I first wrote this post, I loved gentle moving routines where I can feel myself processing the stress and letting it go. About five months ago I started strength training and I absolutely love that now.

Think of exercise as more than a way to get thin. It’s so critical in taking care of your mental and emotional health as well.

EFT: emotional freedom technique or tapping

I’ve been interested and a dabbler in tapping for a decade. But a few months ago, I signed up for a program by Brad Yates. He has thousands of videos for free on YouTube.

But in the program, he had longer tapping sessions and these have been game changers. That and I also practiced tapping almost daily.

My sleep is better, I feel calmer, my focus is good, and maybe it’s just a coincidence but my hot flashes have almost disappeared.

I used to get acupuncture for all of the above for the last four years. But with the additional tapping, I haven’t had to go to acupuncture for a while.

Feeling your feelings

I wrote an entire post on how to feel your feelings, so I recommend you also read How to Feel Your Feelings and Not drown in them.

Many women are afraid at first to feel what they really feel because we tend to think if we start feeling, we’ll get stuck there.

The opposite is true.

We get stuck because we DON’T feel our feelings. Instead if feeling them, we overreact, numb them, or avoid them. They don’t go away. They kind of fester in our body.

Don’t believe me? Just think of something that really upset you a while back. Think about it and see how quickly that feeling comes up.

Feeling an actually feeling though, takes less than two minutes. You just let it be there in your body. And within a couple of minutes it will lighten and you’ll feel better. You might have to repeat but you’ll feel better.

Adding Small Doses of Joy

Here’s some inspiration for adding small doses of joy to your day.

Keeping pictures of loved ones handy

I love looking at pictures of my kids and grandkids. A few minutes of this and I feel full of love. I keep lots of framed pictures and I keep a lot on my phone.

Looking at people we love and feeling the love gives you a boost of good feeling hormones. It’s better than a hit of sugar or booze for sure.

Fresh flowers

Fresh flowers always make me happy. I keep them in several places around my house and at my desk. I buy a few inexpensive kinds at the store and arrange them myself in vases or even jars.f

Music

I keep a playlist of uplifting songs that I collect from everywhere. I have Shazam on my phone and I can add music to my playlist from the coffee shops, stores, television shows or movies, or from other people’s music.

I especially love to put on music when I’m preparing dinner. It makes fixing dinner fun and special.

Sitting outside

If you have a place and the weather is nice, it’s great to sit outside for a bit every day. I have a small balcony and I grow some beautiful plants there.

All times of day can be great. Coffee in the morning. Doing a few puzzles on a break. Winding down at the end of the day.

If you have an outdoor seating area, use it!

It’s a great time to reflect on all you have to be grateful for.

Nightly Routines

How you wind down your day is an important part of creating healthy habits.  As you transition to sleep time, you can do things that get you ready not just for bed but for a successful next day.

Get your home ready for tomorrow

One of the things I learned as a young wife and mom was to tidy up the kitchen before bed. Growing up, our family always did dishes right after dinner. Dad and one of us kids did the dishes as soon as we were done at the table.

I still always do my dishes each evening. I also like to wipe the counters down, pick up anything on the counters that doesn’t belong there, and shine up the sink.

Then I turn the dishwasher on, so the dishes will be clean and ready to put away while my coffee is brewing the next morning.

Before I go to bed, I’ll also reset the living room by straightening the pillows on the sofas and putting away anything that is where it shouldn’t be.

Evening is also a great time to prep your breakfast and lunch for the next day.

In the evening, I also enjoy 15 minutes or so of stretching.

Doing these things helps me get a good night’s sleep and provides some relaxation to my nervous system.

These things don’t really take much time and leave plenty of time to relax, watch some TV, go for a walk, or read. You can use the time to give someone a call, go to a class, or snuggle with your sweetie.

One thing you don’t see, is do some work. I’m not saying that you’ll never crack open your computer, but you can train yourself to do what you can during the day and call your evenings your own.

Having healthier routines in the evening can help you enjoy your daily life, get more quality time for yourself, and prevent burnout.

Taking care of your emotional well-being is the most important thing you can do for yourself and to anyone in your life.

I’ve seen this playout hundreds of times. Women think that they have to give everything they’ve got to keep everyone and everything around them going.

You aren’t THAT important. You are important; however the world will keep going even if you focus on your own wellbeing.

In fact, it is best for everyone that you do that. While it might seem like you are just being helpful, it’s a way of telling everyone that they just can’t do it without you.

Your Lifestyle and Daily Routines to Help You Feel Better

No matter what your lifestyle is, you can design some healthy habits that support your mental health, increase relaxation, and improve your overall health.

The idea is NOT to add more things to do to your life. It’s to be intentional about what you do so that you can feel better.

This means doing less of things that make you feel bad and doing more things that help you feel better!

The post Daily Routines to Help You Feel Better appeared first on My Think Big Life.

You may have an inner critic that just never shuts up! Here are 5 strategies to silence your inner critic and create peace and calm instead.

These five steps are based on my work with midlife women who have successfully learned to silence many of their negative thoughts with kindness and compassion towards themselves.

Your inner critic wants what is best for you but she decided, often during your childhood that talking mean to you would make you safe. This is so normal that we don’t even realize it happening.

I like to think of our inner critics as simply one part of ourselves that are simply trying to make our lives better in some way.

Their negativity may have worked as motivation at one time, but at this point in your life, this way of protecting you is not helping and it’s making you feel miserable.

Not only that, but by having your inner critic running your emotions, you may feel anxiety, shame, depression, and self-doubt. 

As a professional life coach for women, I’m going to help you understand the role of your inner critic, so that you can understand her better, and also experience life beyond her limited scope.

The Benefits of Quieting Your Inner Critic

The impact of too much critical thought affects your emotional, mental, and physical well-being. It creates distress and sometimes even self-loathing.

This critical inner voice seems to have all the answers but the problem is, she is mostly wrong. I want to offer you a new perspective. 

You are worthy right now. This isn’t just a platitude. You are. You have the accomplishments and resilience to back this up. Just by being, you are worthy of having a kinder more compassionate voice in your head.

There are so many benefits to having a calm and peaceful mind that are mental, physical, and emotional. While you’ll feel better, it’s also good for your body!

Number one, by quieting your inner negative talk, you will feel better. Do not underestimate the power of feeling better. 

Number two. You will finally be able to find self-love and self-acceptance. This is where all your power is. Not in the version you think you should be but in your actual authentic self. 

Instead of hating yourself, you get a chance to celebrate and be yourself. This is where true success and abundance comes from.

Number three, as you silence that critical voice, you grow your own self-confidence, create more calm and peace, and develop a self-compassion that may seem impossible right now.

Finally, as human beings, we are meant to grow and evolve. Your inner monologue tries to keep you safe by keeping you stuck. Let’s get y

Create self-awareness of your inner critic

Get to know your inner critic and her negative thoughts

Learn what your inner critic really wants for you

Lean into the lesson with compassion

Align with your highest self

So let’s dive in and create some peace and calm in your mind!

Create Self-awareness of Your Inner critic

First of all, you need to become aware that you have an inner critic, as opposed to this is just who you are.

We get so used to this voice in our heads that we believe that it IS us. However, it is just one of your parts that has been there a very long time.

Don’t worry, we aren’t going to get rid of her, you are going to get to know her and appreciate what she is there for. 

We develop patterns of protection early in life to keep us safe. At some point, these patterns hold us back and begin to create negative consequences.

Get to Know the Negative Thoughts of Your Inner Critic

One way to become aware is to write down all the horrible and critical things you say to yourself. Just list them, one by one.

This is not you. This is just one part of you. Seeing what you say to yourself probably won’t feel great. Yet, it’s powerful because you know that you would probably never say these kinds of things to anyone else.

When you think how saying these things to others would be harmful to them, you can begin to see how harmful they can be to you.

Learn What Your Inner Critic Really Wants 

Once you get tuned into your inner monologue, you can begin to ask her what she wants for you.

I like to tune into my body, get grounded by feeling my feet touching the floor, take a few deep breaths, and tune into my body.

As I tune into how my body feels, I can ask that part what it really wants for me.

This is usually something along the lines of to be safe. There are no wrong answers. 

Lean Into the Lesson with Compassion

As you do this you begin to see that your inner critic actually wants what is best for you. She’s not trying to hurt you. 

If you haven’t done something like this before, it may sound really weird. However, once you communicate lovingly with your inner critic, she becomes less critical of you. You begin to have a relationship of trust.

Here are some inner critic examples. You may have a closet that needs cleaned out. The mean voice may say things like:

What is wrong with you?

You are so lazy.

You always let people down.

You’re such a disappointment.

I’ve heard worse from my clients! But this kind of talk doesn’t usually get the closet cleaned.

Once you talk to yourself with compassion, you can begin to understand why the closet isn’t getting cleaned.

Perhaps it is tied to bad childhood experiences of cleaning things out.

Maybe cleaning out closets happened right before your family moved for the 10th time and you had to say goodbye to all your friends.

Or even after cleaning your closet, your parent just nodded and said, maybe better next time.

So, you get caught in this loop of needing to do something but dreading it. With patients and compassion though, you can understand the whole picture.

When you have this perspective, you can choose to clean your closet or not, and it will because that is what you want to do and you’ll understand your grown up reasons for the task.

Align with Your Highest Self

As you quiet the inner critic, you begin to be your highest self. You understand why you do things and why you don’t do things.

You become more authentic and grounded and you and your life feels better. This authenticity is the real you.

You can’t just push your inner critic away but you can get to know her and to coexist peacefully with her. 

In some way, she has been trying to be your helper and friend. All this means is that she isn’t gone but she now trusts you to do what’s best for you.

Life Without an Inner Critic

It may feel weird at first to trust yourself to be and do what feels like your real authentic self. It may be the first time you’ve allowed yourself to even want what you want.

With time and patience, this can become second nature and I believe it is the best way to live a life that feels good and to feel whole as a person.

When we integrate all parts of ourselves, we live with an authenticity that is powerful. It feels good and it also allows you to create a life you love.

The post 5 Strategies to silence your inner critic appeared first on My Think Big Life.

If you learn how to live in the moment, be present, happier and stop worrying you will feel better and do better! It’s such a fun way to live and it’s my mission in life to introduce it to as many women as possible.

I believe in helping women feel better because I know so many women do not feel good. They feel tired, discouraged, and almost hopeless, even when they feel like they should be grateful for the life they have.

You’ve done the things. You’ve tried to be a good person. You’ve spent your life taking care of others and even taking care of yourself.

But you spend so much time thinking about what you could have done better or what you can do better going forward.

If that sounds like you, I’m here to tell you, that it is possible to be present, happier, and to not worry as much.

It’s not just possible but good for you in all the ways, including your physical, emotional, and mental health.

What Does Not Living in the Present Moment Look Like?

How much time do you actually spend fully in a present moment? I ask you this with all seriousness.

From what I know about myself and others, we spend the majority of our time in rumination, rehashing the past or worrying about the future.

Oh, and there are the many ways we avoid any thinking by watching TV, scrolling on our phones, or even reading.

How is this showing up in your life?

• Thinking about past things
• Thinking or worrying about the future
• Being fully present to whatever you are doing:
• Avoiding all of the above through TV, reading, or numbing
• Feeling consumed by negative thoughts 
• The Negative Effects of Not Living in the Moment
• Living with high blood pressure
• Gaining weight year after year
• Even when you have time, you can’t relax or rest
• Feeling guilty for taking time for yourself
• Being at other people’s beck and call, even when you are exhauste
• Aches and pains that you can’t resolve
• Not having time to plan and eat meals or exercise
• Too much time spent scrolling social media

This list could be longer, but these are the COMMON things I see in the women I work with. Women literally sacrifice their own well-being, physical health, and joy in their own life to live up to some unreachable standard!

Not being able to engage in self-care or physical health because you have too much on your mind

In general, research indicates, we spend about half our thinking time on things other than what we are doing right now. 

And unfortunately, we are not spending that time in present-moment awareness or feeling positive emotions

This seems to be our brain’s default mode of operation as human beings. Unfortunately, not being present to yourself results in a negative effect on your moods, your health, and every other aspect of your life.

I’m not suggesting that we can’t spend any of our thinking in the past or future. However, the quality of our lives depends on the quality of our thoughts.

I would say that my life’s work is helping women learn to think better so that they can feel better. When we feel better, we naturally do better.

A big part of this is gaining a new perspective, noticing bodily sensations, and gaining acceptance for the life they are currently living.

Many women just want to jump to the fix this thing in my life without really examining what is actually going on.

For example, if they are overeating, they just want to stop. But it’s impossible to making a lasting change in habit without exploring why you overeat in the first place!

Your well-being and mental health require more than just changing a bad habit. You really can’t just beat yourself up into changing.

And this is especially true as you reach your fifties and beyond. 

This applies to our health, weight loss, relationships, and the quality of our work life. As long as we believe change only requires making a plan and sticking to it, we miss out on 95% of our real power to change.

Often, we try to change behaviors using the same thinking that created the behaviors. This does not work.

We cannot change or solve a problem with the same thinking that we used to create the problem. This keeps us stuck in something we come to believe we can’t change.

Many women resist being in the present moment simply because it is too painful in some way. We desperately want to feel better but don’t believe that we can change all the reasons why life feels painful.

A great example of this is a woman who is overworking, either at her job or even in retirement. It literally does not feel safe to slow down. 

But by her fifties or even before, her body is showing the wear and tear. Perhaps she is gaining weight every year. Or she has a collection of health ailments. She doesn’t have time to rest and relax.

So, she doubles down and tries to work harder believing that if she can just work harder, she’ll get ahead.

That day never comes. Hear me on this. No one will value your health as much as all they take for granted you do. Most women overwork and do way more than their share at work.

No wonder depression and anxiety are so common!

Here’s a belief to work on. You can change the circumstances of your life and it starts with the belief that it is possible. That’s all for now. Just begin allowing yourself to believe it just might be possible.

10 Ways to Live in the Present Moment

Truly, you won’t have to spend all your free time in meditation practice or really doing anything you don’t find interesting.

However, you are going to have to commit to your own well-being and to being the boss to yourself that you wish you had. 

Here are 10 things you can do to be present, happier, and stop worrying so much

Build the belief

Step one is allowing for the possibility that you can be present in the moment and in your own life. 

Right now, you have decades of experience saying this isn’t possible. However, I’ve worked with some tough cases and I know that it IS possible.

I’m going to show you the how and once you find out how amazing it can feel, you will get hooked on freeing up more time to be present in the moment.

However, to get that started, I need you to allow that this is possible. I know that is a big ask, but just find the words that feel doable for you.

It might be possible to slow down and be present

Maybe I can change my life

This could be really good for me

I’m curious about whether I can be present in the moment

Play around with these soft beliefs until you find one or two that make you FEEL BETTER. That’s enough for now.

Create new habits and make them part of your daily routine

Since I do a lot of work around weight loss and eating habits, one of the first things I suggest is making time to eat regular meals.

It amazed me at first, how many women do not actually plan for, prepare, and eat meals on a regular basis.

So, if you aren’t either, this is an excellent place to begin. 

Other things women tell me they wish they had time for are the following:

• Exercise and walking
• Reading books 
• Resting when tired
• Gardening
• Sitting outside
• Playing more with pets
• Going for longer walks
• Praying/meditating
• Cooking or baking
• Crafts
• Savoring a cup of coffee

Committing to doing something you enjoy every single day, is one of the most powerful decisions you can make. 

Most of us live in what I call punishment mode. What I mean by that is that we don’t allow ourselves to do something we enjoy because we don’t feel like we’ve earned it. 

Unfortunately, many of you never get to the point where you feel like you’ve earned time to do what you want, until it is too late and you either can’t do it physically or you’ve just given up.

I mean this with my whole heart–it is important to do things to rest, for fun, or to enjoy. Put it on your schedule every day. Don’t wait for leftover time. Make this a priority!

Look closely at your thoughts

There’s no getting around it, you gotta learn what’s really going on in your mind. It isn’t always pretty and it’s certainly not rainbows and flowers.

Before we can change, we have to know what we are currently creating with our minds. Everything you’ve ever done, everything you are doing, and everything you will ever do, starts in your mind.

If your thoughts are crap, you are experiencing some crap in your life.

Many of you have created lots of amazing things in your life, from your homes to your families, to your careers.

But it’s almost epidemic that so many women are not happy at heart. We know we should be but we just can’t paste enough smiles on our face to really feel it anymore.

Working with a life coach trained in mindset is a great way to see what you are really thinking and what results you are getting. That is the short cut and the quickest way to discover how powerful your thoughts are.

In addition, you can journal. I journal every morning to discover what is going on in my mind. I like to get my thoughts out of my head and onto paper. 

The reason I like these two ways the best is that they really get to the heart of things–the good, the bad, and the ugly. Things we don’t really want to look at too closely but that we need to for our own good.

Pay attention to when your body hurts or is tired

We women are experts at ignoring our body’s needs. We are masters at pushing through pain, tiredness, and brain exhaustion.

Heck, we even hate to take time to go to the bathroom!

I believe that women would have fewer injuries and physical symptoms if they would listen to and respect the limits of their bodies.

You have to rest your body!!!

Pushing through physical pain and discomfort doesn’t make you stronger forever. It creates wear and tear on your body.

Eventually hips, knees, feet, shoulders, and other parts give out. Sure some problems are going to happen anyway.

But many of them are self-created because you refuse to listen to your precious body.

Most women are only focused on losing weight as opposed to truly loving their body. Your body is the KEY to the quality of your life as you grow older.

Nothing will be as important to you as your body when you are older. I’ve seen the other side of life by getting to know the people in my mom’s retirement community.

Take care of your body. When it hurts. Rest it.

Release judgment towards yourself and others

You are going to feel judgment. For some of you, you will feel like you are in the right. Some of you are going to feel like you are being petty.

Either way, those judgy thoughts are going to come up.

Here’s where that can be a problem.

If you stay stuck with the thought, “I am right“, then you become more rigid. You are usually stuck in the past, where you developed that belief.

If you feel petty, like you are a bad person for having these thoughts, then you are creating a situation for yourself where you feel bad about who you are as well as the person you are judging.

Stay present. When you notice judgmental thoughts, see them for what they are. Just thoughts. They don’t make you a good or bad but they can make you feel bad.

Appreciate the wisdom of your feelings and mood

​In general, your feelings and emotions are a result of how you are thinking. I use the word feelings and emotions interchangeably.

Here’s the paradox of feelings. They are incredibly important and can help you navigate your life more effectively.

However, we often give our feelings way too much importance, when we haven’t looked at what is behind them.

A lot of women feel bad and they believe that this is just how it is. Often it is because of a situation or someone else.

What is really true is that it is the thoughts we have about other people or situations that create our feelings.

Over time, we believe that what we think is true.

It often isn’t. It’s our beliefs and interpretations that create our feelings.

Notice the small things that bring you pleasure

I recently wrote a whole post on how powerful appreciating simple pleasures can be.

We often spend so much time wishing for bigger different things, we forget or ignore all the small pleasures that are already in our lives.

People who appreciate the small pleasures are happier in general.

When you lose access to these little things, they are the things you will miss the most.

Earlier in this year, I went to Europe and it was amazing. I’d love to go again. But I don’t miss it.

However, I used to live in a house with a lovely courtyard and garden. I often find myself missing those moments sitting out on my patio, enjoying the flowers and plants I planted.

Or I miss a little dog I owned for 10 years. I adopted her when she was two and she was my faithful companion for years. I miss her snuggles and happy wiggles.

So appreciate those simple pleasures today, while you have them.

Get out of your head and get into your body

We spend so much of our time thinking about things we can’t change or we can’t fix. It’s very frustrating when no matter how much we think, we can’t figure out an answer that puts our brain at ease.

The problem with this is that when we are stressed out, we literally can’t access good solutions. It’s counterproductive to keep yourself stressed out by overthinking.

For more on this, check out my post, How to Quit Over Thinking. When I am stuck in my brain, I like to push the pause button and get into my body.

Just sit and get into your body. Visualize your focus leaving your head and dropping into your body. Use your imagination to explore your body and notice how it feels.

Where do you feel pressure?

Where do you feel any discomfort?

Find that place and just be there with it. You don’t even have to name it. Just feel it. If it feels uncomfortable, you can say to yourself, “This feels uncomfortable.”

As you breathe and focus on your body, the discomfort will dissolve and you’ll feel calmer and more peaceful.

This is where you will have more access to the answers you seek. You free up the part of your brain that can actually help you.

Explore your creativity

You can’t be anywhere but, in the moment, when you are being creative. It’s a lovely time where you can be focused on what is flowing from you.

When I write, I can only focus on getting down the words that seem to flow out of me. I will start with a general idea but what comes out often surprises me.

There are so many different ways to express your creativity.

I used to love scrapbooking. I probably spent hundreds of hours putting together scrapbooks.

I tend to enjoy crafts rather than things like painting or drawing. But for others, their experience of art is like how writing is for me.

Now, sometimes you have to spend some time as a beginner before you get to the flow stage, but that also puts you in the moment.

How to Live in the Moment More

There are so many benefits to living in the moment. You feel better, you think better, and you can find more joy in life.

Of course you’ll look ahead to tomorrow and you’ll think of yesterday but you don’t want to get stuck there in a way that causes you pain.

And when you do spend time there, I recommend you think about the good times in an appreciative way and you look towards tomorrow with optimism.

Instead of worrying about how far you have to go, remind yourself how at this moment right now, how far you’ve come.

The post How To Live In The Moment: Be Present, Happier, And Stop Worrying appeared first on My Think Big Life.