Do you ever try and hide your imperfections from the world? What if instead of trying to remove or hide your imperfection, you could let your imperfections show you the way to success?
From an early age, I can remember feeling weird and not quite fitting in. To compensate, I spent a lot of time trying to develop into what I thought the world wanted. I wasn’t successful and it wasn’t until I learned to own and develop my imperfections, that I learned they could be the key to success. I really have learned that my imperfections make me perfect.
What are Our Imperfections?
These are our personal qualities that we think make us less than. These are the things that we think are wrong with us. It could be benign things like we laugh too hard or we weigh ten more pounds than we’d like. Maybe we are shy in social situations or we can’t remember the punchline to jokes. I usually feel like a bunch of insecurities held together with a bit of hope and faith that things will work out.
What have you thought about yourself? Too loud, too quiet? Perhaps too awkward or you can’t sing in tune. Does reading a map give you a headache? Do you cover your eyes during scary movies?
It might seem silly but often it’s these little things that we feel make us imperfect. God forbid we have any of the BIG issues!
So once we decide something is an imperfection, we often try to hide it, eradicate it, or pretend it doesn’t exist. And in doing this, we create something of a false persona. It’s an awful lot like us but not quite. Something IS missing.
Why Do We Hide Our Imperfections?
Our families, friends, and other tribes such as our church or workplace do seem to prefer our false personas that we create to help us fit in and get along with tribe-mentality. And because humans like to fit into their tribes, we usually do our best to do so.
Our Imperfections Make Us Perfect!
However, when you are trying to make it out in the world as an employee, entrepreneur or blogger, that rule doesn’t work. The world is too full of people trying to act like they think they should. There are millions of voices out there and the only way to ensure that your voice is heard is to speak as only you can speak and act as only you can act.
What I discovered was that the world really has no interest in inauthentic personalities. Even if we don’t actually like someone, we still prefer people who are “real.”
When I finally accepted my realness and my self-described imperfections, I finally found the peace and acceptance I had always longed for. Most of the time—one of my imperfections is a lack of confidence.
I’m not Perfect???
I was talking to a friend the other evening and he said something along the lines of “you’re not perfect.” A couple of weeks later another friend was saying how much he loved me because I was “real, real but flawed…”
Um, thanks for adding the flawed part, right?
But that got me thinking…if NO ONE is perfect, why do we insist on qualifying each other as “not perfect?” Why even say such a thing?
And why do we need to think there even is a perfect person when we all clearly know there isn’t?
So, I think that all these things that we have for have so long thought of as our imperfections are just things about us. They aren’t actually imperfections; they are actually those things that make us unique.
No tribe exists where everyone is exactly the same. That would literally be hell on earth. We need all the unique qualities that people bring—even the ones that can be annoying and irritating. Those things make us grow too.
At some level, we do get that. Feeling good about our so-called flaws is a whole different thing. How do you go from feeling imperfect to not only owning your imperfections but to letting them be a public part of who you are?
How do you get to believing that your imperfections make you perfect?
You Decide Perfection is Overrated
Since no one truly is perfect, you have to get over it. It just ain’t going to happen. Instead trying for an impossible state just makes you and everyone around you unhappy. Really decide, even if you don’t quite believe it yet, that from this day forward, that perfection doesn’t exist and you don’t need to try for it. Just be you.
Be Happy Anyway
Be perfect or be happy! It is so much easier to be happy when you aren’t trying to be perfect. For some of us that’s easier said than done. I do feel happier when the house is tidy and I’m caught up on my to-do list. However, at times, I just have to choose to be happy over being perfect.
Honestly, in terms of being organized, I do feel happier when I’m moving towards perfection. I love that feeling of being in control. But I can also laugh when control just doesn’t happen. Cause it often doesn’t and it’s better to accept that than to continually fight it.
Do Things You Want to Do
I was always waiting to do things until I lost enough weight, got in better shape, had better clothes, felt more confident, or had more money. While waiting for perfection in those areas, I missed out on so many opportunities! Now I just do things. I go with the body I have, the clothes I have, and the money I have. I go even when I don’t feel at all confident.
It’s hard to believe I let those things keep me from doing things I wanted to do but they did. By trying things with all my imperfections in tow, I am still having amazing experiences. I wouldn’t have believed it was possible a few years ago.
The more comfortable you get with doing things anyway, the more you are willing to do. And the more things you are willing to try; the more opportunities you’ll have!
Practice Showing Off Your Imperfections
Okay, it’s one thing to have imperfections; it’s another to show them off! I get that, truly I do. I was a big hider of and pretender of not having any imperfections. Yet, as I gradually became more comfortable with them, I got more comfortable with not having to always act like I totally had my act together.
Allowing yourself to show up as your real self, flaws and all, will free you to live the life you want. When you are hiding parts of yourself, that just isn’t possible in the same way.
Allow Yourself to Feel Adorable Because of Your Imperfections, Not in Spite of Them
Not only is it okay to have flaws, you are more adorable because of them. No one likes people because they are perfect. They like us because we are real and wonderful even with those pesky bits of ourselves. It’s our unique qualities that draw people to us and make them comfortable with us.
It’s refreshing to find out that others are not perfect. How many times have you learned something about someone that you thought was perfect (and maybe that was a little intimidating) and then you found out that they had things about themselves that bothered them. You feel closer to them! You realize that we all have our ‘stuff.”
Your Imperfections May Just Be Your Super Power
Finally, not only do your imperfections make you perfect, they may just be your super power. I’ll give you two examples from my own life.
I grew up in a small town, with a laborer dad. He did eventually get a college degree but we definitely never had a lot of money in the early days or an upscale way of life. While my circumstances improved over time, that feeling has never quite gone away. It feels like a flaw at times.
Yet, in my professional life, it’s a super power because I can truly relate to people at all levels of socio-economic status comfortably. I may not look like a small-town poor girl on the outside anymore, but I do know how it feels and I can truly empathize with the challenges that brings.
My imperfections also led me to create this blog. I had struggled with my skin, weight, and all kinds of personal issues all my adult life. Writing about these “flaws” and making them public, allowed me to own them and help others. Without all my imperfections, I wouldn’t have had anything to write about!
Take a little time and start thinking about how your imperfections may actually be a part of your super power arsenal. What do they allow you to do well, that you may not have been able to do otherwise?
Your Imperfections Make You Perfect
Whether it feels like it or not, they do. I encourage you to start reframing how you look at your own flaws and imperfections. Know that they really aren’t something wrong with your but in actuality are things that make you the amazing person you are.
Be imperfect my friends!
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I'm a former counselor, career services leader, and college advisor. Now I coach and write at My Think Big Life promoting health and personal growth.
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