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Happiness is the Best Revenge

Is there a hurt that is getting in the way of your happiness? Spend five minutes a day listening to this relaxing guided meditation and learn the power of forgiveness in your own life. Forgiveness = Happiness. And happiness the best the revenge.

Is there a hurt that is getting in the way of your happiness? Spend five minutes a day listening to this relaxing guided meditation and learn the power of forgiveness in your own life. Forgiveness = Happiness. And happiness IS the best the revenge.

Holding on to negative thoughts about someone does not hurt them. It just gives them power over you. The act of forgiveness is important for your well-being–not theirs!

Who hasn’t had the occasional revenge fantasy after being hurt by someone. We really really want that person to know they did something wrong and acknowledge that they hurt us. I don’t even like the word revenge and would never seek to hurt another person. THAT never works well. But there is one kind of revenge that does work. Happiness is the best revenge.

However, to get to the happy part—you gotta get through the forgiveness part.

Getting over our anger and hurt may seem like it depends on the other person feeling sorry about what they did and making amends to us. Yet what if that doesn’t happen and we are just left with the hurt and anger and no apology, admittance of being sorry, or even that they care?

That makes forgiving tough!

Often though, anger is allowed to go on so long that it begins to fester. I’ve seen people literally be eaten alive by their anger. Bitter unforgiving people are not pleasant to be around and people tend to avoid them, which makes them even more bitter.

Most of us, don’t fall into that category of allowing anger and bitterness to consume our lives. Yet, most of us do keep enough anger or resentment active enough in our energy, that it is throwing us off and keeping us from having our best lives. But there is another option—forgiveness and emotional freedom, which leads to happiness.

Finding Happiness Through Forgiveness

It might seem odd, but forgiveness is your remedy to a lot of the problems you have. Forgiveness truly is one of the most healing things you can do for yourself and can lead to a happier life.

Forgiving takes intention, effort, and time but delivers solid benefits to your mood, health, and overall well-being.

Most people have no idea about the power of forgiveness. In fact, they often don’t know that they can forgive. Don’t we all have events or people in our lives, that we’ve sworn that “we can’t forgive.” I know I have. There have been times when I thought forgiveness was absolutely impossible.

In the past few years though, I had to learn to forgive to find peace, freedom, and even happiness. After my divorce, I found it hard to forgive. But by not forgiving, it made not only my life more difficult; it made the lives of my family more difficult. My decision to forgive has allowed my family to celebrate holidays and special occasions together and was one of the best decisions I have ever made.

Finding Emotional Freedom

This process has expanded my understanding of forgiveness quite a bit. In light of all the anger and bitterness going around, I wanted to explain why I believe forgiveness is a powerful remedy to many of our every day problems.

Forgiving equals power, control, and yes, even happiness. I don’t know of ANYTHING else you can do that gives you all the benefits of forgiveness. Yet, we often resist forgiving for many reasons. Understanding the reasons that you might struggle with forgiveness will help the process.

Why It’s So Hard to Forgive

We Don’t Want to Face Our Own Part in the Situation: Holding on to our anger against someone else, shields us from feeling our own shame about our part in the event or situation with another person.

We Want to Maintain Control or Power in a Situation: We hold on to our anger in an attempt to maintain control and power. Holding onto anger feels strong and righteous to some extent—we can in some moments feel more in control and powerful.

We don’t know how to forgive: Forgiveness sounds good in theory but most of us have not been taught and actual process. It’s kind of mysterious. What are the actions that you take to forgive?

We’ve been taught forgiveness is weakness: Many of us grew up in families that taught us to hang on to our anger as a way to protect ourselves. If you forgive, you were considered weak. If you held your grudge you were strong. If you held to your hurt and anger; you might be able to protect yourself from more people hurting you.

We think something is unforgivable: Bad things happen to people. And some things do seem unforgivable. Of course, stand up for yourself or pursue legal recourse when necessary. In the end though, you will want emotional freedom from the person or event. The only thing I can say is that the forgiveness is for YOU and not for the other person.

We don’t know that forgiveness is a decision: Forgiveness is a choice we make. It is an intention that we set. That is what sets forgiveness in motion. With people whom we have a relationship, the act of forgiving may involve conversations, apologies, and voicing forgiveness. But it always starts with the decision to forgive.

We don’t know we need to forgive: Sometimes the person or event is in the past or out of our lives. Since we know we aren’t going to get satisfaction or an apology, we simply don’t realize that we need to forgive. We have this pissed-off energy that pops up now and then but we aren’t aware that we need to forgive and let go.

Using Guided Meditation for Forgiveness

I know how hard it can be to let go and forgive. If you have a person or event in your life that you need to find forgiveness for, I have something to help.

Setting the intention to forgive is the most important part of the process. By continually affirming this intention, you will eventually find peace. At the very least, you’ll have more peace than you do now.

In partnership with a wonderful counselor, Tina Hart, I’ve created a guided meditation to help you begin the forgiveness process. You are going to love how she handles forgiveness in this meditation and her gentle approach as she helps you through the process

The world needs more forgiveness and less anger. This Forgiveness Meditation is a gift from Tina and I to anyone who needs a little help with the process. Please enjoy and share this link!

It’s VERY relaxing, so DO NOT listening to it while driving! Sit in a chair or lay down. You don’t even need headphones. Just listen and let it happen.

Forgive, forgive, forgive. It is the secret ingredient to a happy life. Happiness is the best revenge!

Guided Forgiveness Meditation for Emotional Freedom

 

And please visit Tina’s website. She provides life coaching for adults and students; kindergarten through college, who have ADHD or suspect they have an unfocused style and wish to increase their efficiency in work and school.

Here are some of my other posts related to forgiving and letting go.

No matter what your background or faith, entering the new year tends to have some kind of meaning to most people. We want to start clean. Learning how to forgive someone is a great place to start.

Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself and here is why you need to forgive. Understanding and practicing forgiveness is essential to your health and overall wellbeing. Learning to forgive will make you happier, more resilient, more attractive, and a stronger person who is able to have better relationships.

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Sara

Lifestyle Blogger and Influencer at My Think Big Life
Sara is a former counselor, career services leader, and college advisor. Now she can be found at My Think Big Life writing about health and personal growth.

And if part of your plan for the new year is getting a new job, be sure and check out my resume writing page. I am passionate about resume writing and helping people have access to new opportunities.
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{ 8 comments… add one }
  • Sheryl August 11, 2016, 11:36 am

    All of your points are so true. Forgiveness is not a subject that we like to discuss and it is often seen as a weakness when in reality it is a strength.

    • Sara August 11, 2016, 12:25 pm

      Thanks for the comment Sheryl! It really is a strength and I think one of the most self-healing things a person can do for herself.

  • Barbara Rivers August 14, 2016, 9:45 pm

    I couldn’t agree more. Hanging on to our anger only creates negative energy and results in wasting our time when we could spend it on something much more productive.

    • Sara August 18, 2016, 7:02 am

      Hi Barbara. Most of us are so used to living with it that we don’t even realize how detrimental it is. It truly is a relief to give it up! Thanks for the comment.

  • Paula, The Geeky Shopaholic August 18, 2016, 11:15 am

    So much truth here! I’ve had to learn the lesson of forgiveness often in my life. Holding on to anger and grudges just takes too much energy! I’d much rather use that energy else where. 🙂

    • Sara August 18, 2016, 1:42 pm

      Thanks Paula. I’m doing the meditation every day. I think I’m pretty good at forgiveness but I still carry some negative energy about some situations and people. I feel a shift every time I do this so I’m keeping at it.

  • Pamela Ransom June 27, 2017, 4:32 pm

    Sara,
    You are so insightful and the “self love/forgiveness” is very rare in our society. You mentioned that you have the capacity to help with resumes and I NEED HELP!

    ANY guidance would be greatly appreciated.
    God bless you!

    • Sara June 28, 2017, 4:40 pm

      Hi Pam,

      Thanks for reading and taking the time to leave a comment. I sent an email in response to the resume question. Sara

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